Separated, how much should I provide?

spender

I really really hope that the right result comes out, but please leave the misses alone. We do not know how she feels about this, Jack finished the marriage so I do feel empathy. And this is coming from a woman who did not take much any money from the ex, but we do not know the expectations etc. We are hearing one side only and I do feel that Jack has been more than fair but we have all been in a situation where the carpet has been pulled under from us...... And I do feel that we have compassion within us. I wish Jack well and wished that he was my ex and that the ex has more gumption to get a job, but for whatever reason she has not and perhaps that it because she thought the marriage would not end. She is lucky that her parent (although they did not have too supported her). This is coming from a woman who accepted £125 per month for 2 children, but I am very strong but please although I wish Jack very well and hope that his pension is not touched don't crucify the ex, she may not be able to cope and is clutching

ampersand

' We do not know how she feels about this,' -

Yes, we do. Read the Thread....again.

'...she may not be able to cope and is clutching' - ...exactly.

#
' We are hearing one side only' - and how many sides is Jack's son hearing?

Thin and lazy reading will produce some forum guffery as a by-product, not infrequently veiling 'my story'.

quidsy

The wife has never posted so no, we don't know her view, at all. It is all supposition by jacks fan club

kelpie35

quidsy wrote: »

The wife has never posted so no, we don't know her view, at all. It is all supposition by jacks fan club

I take offence being referred to as "Jack's fan club" :mad:

If you have taken the time to read the whole thread you will see that Jack has copied and pasted some emails he has received from his ex.

Also you will see that Jack has bent over backwards to fufill his duty in supporting not only his ex but his 2 children. He has got himself into a mountain of debt by trying to do the right thing for them all.

He is a person that I admire for his integrity and strength over the last 2 years (and possibly longer)

I just hope and pray that the judge sees Jack for the honest person he is and that his ex has done nothing to help herself. In my opinion she has no self respect, and if I knew her in real life I would not hesitate to tell her that.

enthusiasticsaver

Thanks for clarifying the reasons for your ex wife's decision not to work Jack and I hope all of this will be behind you soon once the family home is sold and the court hearing over and done with.


I know many on this thread for whatever reason think it unfair to lambast your ex wife as you left her but I would reiterate that a breakdown of a marriage is rarely just the fault of one party.Obviously as this is your story we just hear your side but that does not take away the fact that no woman should expect her husband to be the sole breadwinner and allow her to abdicate her responsibility to contribute to the family coffers unless it is a decision that both are happy with and it does seem as if you had your reservations about her choice not to continue working. To then turn around when the marriage fails and say that you should maintain her standard of living as she has not worked in a long time is unfair when the decision for her not to work was not decided mutually and I hope the judge sees that.


I wish you the best of luck in the future and hope by the end of this year you will be set on a much happier path and be able to start rebuilding your relationship with your son.

justme111

I would say even if decision was mutual he is not meant to continue the layout post divorce because they are not husband and wife any more ! (Given certain notice /tapering reduction of course ).
Indeed no need to slag anybody , just somethimes people turn a bit emotional.

duchy

I think many women (who are divorced themselves) are astounded and even shocked by ExMrsJ's expectations and demands and apparent lack of will to do anything to support herself. An educated and obviously articulate woman who has held down professional positions in the past and with no health problems- her 1950s housewife position sits badly with many - and there's also the question of what kind of message she is giving to both her son and her daughter as to their roles and expectations in relationships and life itself.

quidsy

kelpie35 wrote: »

I take offence being referred to as "Jack's fan club" :mad:

If you have taken the time to read the whole thread you will see that Jack has copied and pasted some emails he has received from his ex.

Also you will see that Jack has bent over backwards to fufill his duty in supporting not only his ex but his 2 children. He has got himself into a mountain of debt by trying to do the right thing for them all.

He is a person that I admire for his integrity and strength over the last 2 years (and possibly longer)

I just hope and pray that the judge sees Jack for the honest person he is and that his ex has done nothing to help herself. In my opinion she has no self respect, and if I knew her in real life I would not hesitate to tell her that.

You can take offense at whatever tickles your fancy. That's your choice.

I have read the whole thread & have been posting on it in a long time but I am not one of the "slag off the ex wife at every opportunity" brigade (take offense to that too if you want) I don't know this woman, neither do any of you & it is possible to still be supportive to jack without resorting to insulting, deriding & making supposition about the mother of his kids.

duchy

Perhaps if you don't believe in deriding people the phrase "Jack's fan club" was somewhat ill chosen then ?

quidsy wrote: »

You can take offense at whatever tickles your fancy. That's your choice.

I have read the whole thread & have been posting on it in a long time but I am not one of the "slag off the ex wife at every opportunity" brigade (take offense to that too if you want) I don't know this woman, neither do any of you & it is possible to still be supportive to jack without resorting to insulting, deriding & making supposition about the mother of his kids.

quidsy

No it wasn't. Maybe you would prefer jacks supporters, which ever it isn't a term of derision. You chose to take offense. Up to you