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Separated, how much should I provide?

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Comments

  • I haven't posted in Jack's thread before but have read it from the beginning whilst silently cheering Jack on from the sidelines!


    I think the former Mrs Jack is entirely unreasonable in expecting/demanding a mortgage free house in an expensive part of the country. In this day and age it's ludicrous!


    The former Mrs Jack needs to get off her backside and start making her own way in the world. I'm ashamed to share the same gender as her.


    CS
  • **Patty**
    **Patty** Posts: 1,385 Forumite
    edited 6 August 2014 at 11:10AM
    Re: The credit card debt

    So she's expecting you to pay for her solicitor too?:eek:

    I think the CT is wrong.
    I think the mobile/phone is high.
    I think the gas/elec is high.
    I think the 86 for dental/optical etc is astronomical.

    Like Duchy....the car.....mine's pretty pants on fuel & even i don't use £60 a week :o If it's lease then what repair bills exactly?


    For perspective: Is there a massive disparity in being mortgage-free in the current area than in the SE? i.e. Are we talking x2/x3/x4?
    Autism Mum Survival Kit: Duct tape, Polyfilla, WD40, Batteries (lots of),various chargers, vats of coffee, bacon & wine. :)
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    lucym wrote: »
    I have read the thread...

    Duchy, what you decided to do when your husband left you is irrelevant.

    It is unlikely that Jack's ex will ever be able to command the same wages as Jack, wages that Jack can get because she was a SAHM. The financial split needs to take account of that.

    This always makes me laugh.
    Plenty of couples both work yet that doesn't appear to prevent some of them becoming high earners. having a SAHW isn't compulsory. Some high earners have wives who work fulltime too some are even <gasp> single...yes even single parents too.
    My ex was a high earner - it never stopped me working completely. Yes I took roles that offered family friendly hours but basically you either have a work ethic or you don't. Once children are in their teens it is very difficult to justify why a woman would stay at home full time apart from disinclination.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • Just to add about her outgoings schedule, I would check the costs allocated to the car to make sure she isn't including the cost of the lease that Jack pays on her behalf.


    CS
  • lucym
    lucym Posts: 431 Forumite
    Duchy, it would have been a joint decision...
  • **Patty**
    **Patty** Posts: 1,385 Forumite
    lucym wrote: »
    I have read the thread...

    Duchy, what you decided to do when your husband left you is irrelevant.

    It is unlikely that Jack's ex will ever be able to command the same wages as Jack, wages that Jack can get because she was a SAHM. The financial split needs to take account of that.


    SAHM by choice

    ExMrs Jack didn't work in recent years because she chose not to.....not because she couldn't. Huge difference.
    Autism Mum Survival Kit: Duct tape, Polyfilla, WD40, Batteries (lots of),various chargers, vats of coffee, bacon & wine. :)
  • JackRS
    JackRS Posts: 1,063 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    duchy wrote: »
    Either that formatting is completely messed up or she has just picked figures out of the air...... or if the council tax is correct can I buy your house please Jack ;)

    To pick up on a few -
    medical , dental and optical £86 ???? Even if she had a couple of prescriptions a month and a monthly contact lens plan it is still way too high.
    , £12 a month council tax ? Really ?
    Electric £133 sounds high for two adults,
    house insurance is very high,
    Car expenses £60 a week -she has a lease car you pay for doesn't she so £60 just on petrol with no commuting to work ? Where the heck is she going ???
    Pet food £100 a month- what pets ?

    The council tax I believe is lower based on her income, not sure if she’s declared the £1150/m I give her?

    Her debts are £7K on credit card she’s paying the minimum and being charged £93 a month interest at the moment. I have a copy of her statement given to me as part of the financial disclosure pack. I can see that she did pay £200 off last month.

    Council tax when I was there was £186/m, it’s reduced based on income, I’m not sure of the details but I researched it last year I think it was RAS that gave me the tip, but if you’re on certain benefits or a low income your council tax is reduced a great deal.

    The costs are fuel, She does up to 1500 miles a month. She drives daughter to train station and collects 3 days a week, it’s 12 miles there so 48miles a day, basically 150 a week 600 a month. Then she’ll go to the coast where our son is that’s 130 miles, she’ll do that twice a month so that’s another 520, then the rest is on other trips they do, such as concerts they go to etc.

    £133 is both electric and Gas, the house is always red hot as she’s cold and the boiler is 25 years old and not efficient, she’s tried to get it updated on the government scheme but all options they said they’d completed their quota. When I was there I checked every year to see if we had the best deal.

    The £86 is mainly contact lenses she pays £61 to specsavers each month for contact lenses for her and both children. These are daily disposable which costs around £20/m for each of them.

    Pets, she has 2 dogs that are insured and one that has a health condition requiring special food and medication. She has I believed included kennel costs for when they go away in this average?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • Jack I'd strip out £40 from the opticians costs in that case as child maintenance should cover costs for your adult children so she's effectively claiming twice for the same thing.


    I know that's pedantic but I'm an accountant - sorry! :)
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    lucym wrote: »
    Duchy, it would have been a joint decision...


    And ?
    BTW if you have read the thread you will see this has already been covered.

    The decision was made then - with an expectation they would stay together. They are now divorced. Things have changed.

    A husband is no longer a meal ticket for life. If Jack had died instead of them splitting the government wouldn't be saying "Oh you poor dear -take the rest of your life off - don't worry about supporting yourself" They'd be saying " JSA - show what efforts you are making to find work -and here's enough money to almost cover your expenses"
    Jack isn't trying to put her in that position - He's simply saying - there is enough money for us both to make a new start- BUT we both need to work if we want more than that. She however is saying - I want the lion's share and be in a position not to have to work. She wants to be mortgage free but expects Jack to take on a 150K mortgage to fund her "wants" (not "needs") which include a house in a far more expensive part of the country than where she currently resides.


    If she wasn't capable of working it would be one thing- if she was nearing retirement age or disabled but disinclination is another thing entirely.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • **Patty**
    **Patty** Posts: 1,385 Forumite
    So when the children start earning.....will she still be paying their contact lense costs?

    Likewise with the fuel: Those costs are only for 9 months of the year (Uni term). When she *lives in the SE* ;) They would surely reduce as some of those journeys won't be made or will at least be greatly reduced? Example: £60 would fill the tank on my blue car (2.0 TD). Out of that, i can get around 500 miles (possibly more if i do more mway driving).....thats 2000 miles a month minimum. She either needs a more economical car or to cut her journeys down.
    Autism Mum Survival Kit: Duct tape, Polyfilla, WD40, Batteries (lots of),various chargers, vats of coffee, bacon & wine. :)
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