We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Separated, how much should I provide?
Comments
-
CruisingSaver wrote: »Jack I'd strip out £40 from the opticians costs in that case as child maintenance should cover costs for your adult children so she's effectively claiming twice for the same thing.
If we are going to be picky - are the food costs just hers ?
Your daughter should be paying for her own lenses as an adult and your son's come out of child support (is she still claiming for him for tax credits as well or are the grandparents claiming the CB now as he lives with them?)
If you want to offer to pay for their lenses or go fifty fifty with her as gifts that is another matter (and a different category-gifts)
Does the schedule show her incomings as well as outgoings ?
Eg your contribution, tax credits, child benefit etc
Off topic- Patty I love your sigI Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
I'd be knocking out the £100 per month for 'treats' as well. If madam wants treats, then madam can get a job and pay for them herself!
CS0 -
CruisingSaver wrote: »Just to add about her outgoings schedule, I would check the costs allocated to the car to make sure she isn't including the cost of the lease that Jack pays on her behalf.
CS
Thanks, no this is purely fuel costs as shown earlier I know the mileage of the car as I get an additional charge if goes over 18000 for the year so she is just about on schedule for that achieving <1500/m so at 15p/mile fuel costs that's £225/m the rest is parking.Regards
JackRS0 -
Duchy, it would have been a joint decision...
OK people please don't argue about this stuff, we are all entitled to a view and I understand it can be frustrating; however none of us has all the facts, even me so there are no wrong points of views as it’s the individuals view as they see it from their life experiences and the facts they are aware of.
Lucym I welcome your views as obviously there 2 sides to this story and this thread is heavily biased to my side. I do try to put across her views and argument but it's great to have someone like yourself giving views from the others side of the coin as this helps me prepare and consider my options better.
So yes it's a long way back in the thread but she mentioned it again to the mediator on Friday that she was working 20 hours a week as a Teaching Assistant but they were increasing the pressure and expecting her to do courses and to expand the role to take on a teaching aspect to allow teachers more planning time etc. She came to me and said she didn't want to work there any more and wanted to stop so she could dedicate her time to her dogs and the home. She said she's take care of the cleaning, food shop, washing and ironing so my weekends would be free of those tasks I'd just have to take care of the traditional 'man' tasks ad projects. This would mean a traditional arrangement like her parents has when she was a girl. What could I say? It was possible financially if we budgeted. Yes there were benefits to me so on balance I agreed as also I couldn't actually force her. So yes we can argue it was a joint decision, in fact it was a request that I agreed to. Anyway that's the past, it's more now about how to move forward.
Regards
JackRS0 -
I think I'd want to apply an offset to the fuel by deducting the cost of the lease - which you are currently funding ,off it
You aren't obliged to provide her with a leased car and if she is choosing to drive your adult daughter to college - and visit your adult son I'd query how essential this mileage is. Everyday trips should be covered but her weekend breaks down south are surely "holidays" and in a different pot again.
This sounds picky but essentially she needs to justify these expenses and they need to be correctly categorized for clarity when deciding what is reasonable.
Just like you need to justify your sports activities and your Malteasers
She and your son decided he would be better living at her parents home so as that change of situation was at their instigation then there is an argument that you shouldn't be funding it......unless she wants to off-set your expenses when YOU visit the kids or more accurately adult children ?
Come September am I right in thinking neither child will be living with her as DD is off to uni in London ?
If she was renting then the bedroom tax would increase from one unoccupied bedroom to two as once away at uni adult children are not classed as resident in the family home. I'm drawing paralles with how she can justify "needing" a three bedroom house when she moves.
I am also a bit concerned that she may be inadvertently making a fraudulent claim for council tax at the moment. It might be worth asking the council (without names) if spousal support is ignored when calculating CT benefit.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Yet again Jack, we see the reasonable, honest, scrupulous and more than fair gentleman that you are, have always been on this Thread.
It will stand any scrutiny when read by Jack's children, which remains my hope.
Our support does not falter, Jack.CAP[UK]for FREE EXPERT DEBT &BUDGET HELP:
01274 760721, freephone0800 328 0006'People don't want much. They want: "Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
Norman Kirk, NZLP- Prime Minister, 1972
***JE SUIS CHARLIE***
'It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere' François-Marie AROUET
0 -
Ouch just done a quick google -it looks like only the first £15 of spousal support is exempt when calculating CT benefit unlike child support which is ignored.
Councils do vary so probably best to check with your own but I think she may have a problem.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Something I picked up on were the costs for hairdresser and clothes. If she's spending £50 a month on clothes, how big is her wardrobe? I don't know anybody who has a regular budget for clothes. Most people buy something new when it's needed, but it sounds like she's browsing the shops and buying things that take her fancy. She needs to knock that on the head.
Hairdressing. Hairdressers will often say that you need to have hair trimmed etc, every 6 weeks, not 4 weeks. Also, perhaps it's time she chose a style that doesn't need as much upkeep.0 -
To be fair it depends where she shops - £50 will buy you an entire wardrobe at Primark but just a top or skirt in Next, Hobbs or Oasis.
Thing is she doesn't see why she needs to cut down or change her previous spending as she believes she shouldn't need to make any changes to her lifestyleI Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
True, but she doesn't need to buy new clothes every month.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 351.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.8K Spending & Discounts
- 244.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 599.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.1K Life & Family
- 257.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards