Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

Jack , I will keep fingers crossed for you this friday. I am sure you will be able to do the math with regards to court and associated costs versus compromise that could be achieved on mediation. Please do not let your ex's conviction she is due a life long meal ticket cloud your judgement.
Please remember you.have a changing career card , ie from payroll to consultancy self employed ...

Thanks she was at our daughters band performance last night, she was giving me evils, I offered to buy her a drink but she said no, obviously didn't have enough naughts on the end...

kelpie35

Jack, I hope that the mediation session tomorrow goes well for you, if anyone deserves it, you do.

Remember you are a kind and caring person and you deserve happiness and contentment, I sincerely hope you are able to achieve this sooner than later.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Jack, I hope that the mediation session tomorrow goes well for you, if anyone deserves it, you do.

Remember you are a kind and caring person and you deserve happiness and contentment, I sincerely hope you are able to achieve this sooner than later.

Thanks just had a phone call from my solicitor giving me some guidance I'll tell you what she said in a bit, can't just now.

justme111

kelpie35 wrote: »

Jack, I hope that the mediation session tomorrow goes well for you, if anyone deserves it, you do.

Remember you are a kind and caring person and you deserve happiness and contentment, I sincerely hope you are able to achieve this sooner than later.

Just to give it a different perspective - happiness and contentment come from withing and either present in one's life or not. It applies in any circumstances but severe disability and concentration camps. I hope jack does not lode perspective and enjoys his life as it is happening now so as not to.regret decades later these years drowned in bitterness and consumed with warfare with ex. I do not mean agreeing to whatever she says , hope it is clear from my other posts. I mean not giving the topic too much emotional energy and importance , que sera sera and life is too short ..

JackRS

Solicitor called me this morning (15minute=£50) in response to some emails I sent her with advise for mediation.

She was pleased with the mediator my ex had selected after she had rejected the one I was recommended by my solicitor. The irony is that my solicitor knows the one we are using as she used to work at Brethertons.

She advised me that starting at 50/50 with the assets (house and pension) is the right way. However to remove her claim on my pension fund (built while married/cohabited), I could offer a cash equivalent sum, using the current values of our pensions:

Pension:

Hers= 55k
Mine= 280K
Combined = 335K
50/50= 167.5K

Less her amount 167.5K-55K= 117.5K

So for me to keep my pension I would need to provide her with cash equivalent sum of 117.5K. This is what the actuaries report calculates but roughly it’s about 1/3 of this, so roughly that would be around 40K cash which could be paid for by having more of the house.

House:
Therefore if we assume we get lucky and find a buyer and house goes for 300K

Then we include both of our current credit card debt

Mine=16K
Hers=10K
Additional future legal divorce settlement costs including solicitors around 4K.

300-(16+10+4)= 270K

270/2 = 135K each

Including pension value offset:

Hers= 135+40 = 175K
Mine= 135-40 = 95K

Effectively she gets 65% of house proceeds and I keep my pension.


Child Maintenance

She advised me that child maintenance calculation has changed and is calculated on gross salary less pension contributions. I used the calculator and the result was £150/week which translates to:

£650/month (until July 2015)

My son is 18 and attending a BTEC college course 3 days a week, he works as a waiter doing morning shifts. This can vary between 2 to 4 days a week. Strictly speaking this may not qualify as FTE but I’ll assume to pay this until next July.

Spousal Maintenance

She did advise me that I would be expected to pay maintenance for a reasonable time, knowing that ex would be looking at lifetime.

She advised me that I would be expected to support a reasonable time period for transition. Her reasonable needs should be considered in the calculation and should also assume she had a full time job that paid minimum wage e.g. £1000/month.

e.g. if her reasonable monthly needs to live are £2000 (I suspect they will be more) then I may be expected to pay a further £350/month on top of the Child maintenance.

The time period she suggests is one more year but obviously they will push for more but as we’re offering a cash sum now as pension share, it should be taken into account.

She did recommend that I include a section 28(1)(a)bar to ensure there is no possibility for her to request a revision or further hearing in the future.

She hopes this way we’ll avoid a court hearing and the costs that involve, a court would be required to approve the settlement on the decree absolute but we wouldn’t need to be present.

---

It’s all complex but it gave me a better understanding of my position.

I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow?

Solicitor phone call £50, chance of freedom priceless…

justme111

It is a mind boggling that one has to pay a percentage of gross , nor net.
" maintenance for reasonable time" - It's not that you starting it now , you already had been separated for a year and a half ? So I would argued that you have already paid for a reasonable time.
That's if you after tax and mortgage and cs and your needs have those £300 .
Because don't forget , if her needs are 2000 then yours are 2000+mortgage + cs ,you would needed to earn like 10 grand a month gross to meet all those needs...
If her needs are 3000 but she expects you to have needs that are a fraction.of that than how could she explain it. Children don't come in the equation as cs is separate , housing them - you both would need to have a house to accommodate them , not just she .

thorsoak

One thing occurs to me Jack .....you will be paying gross - but she will have to pay tax on spousal maintenance. Ensure that you notify HMRC and your PAYE dept. It will at least cut your tax bill a little .

JackRS

thorsoak wrote: »

One thing occurs to me Jack .....you will be paying gross - but she will have to pay tax on spousal maintenance. Ensure that you notify HMRC and your PAYE dept. It will at least cut your tax bill a little .

Thanks I wasn’t aware of that, does SM and CS get paid at source? I thought I just set up a standing order like I have done with voluntary SM.

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

It is a mind boggling that one has to pay a percentage of gross , nor net.
" maintenance for reasonable time" - It's not that you starting it now , you already had been separated for a year and a half ? So I would argued that you have already paid for a reasonable time.
That's if you after tax and mortgage and cs and your needs have those £300 .
Because don't forget , if her needs are 2000 then yours are 2000+mortgage + cs ,you would needed to earn like 10 grand a month gross to meet all those needs...
If her needs are 3000 but she expects you to have needs that are a fraction.of that than how could she explain it. Children don't come in the equation as cs is separate , housing them - you both would need to have a house to accommodate them , not just she .

Thanks yes I know, I did say to my solicitor that she could have spent a whole year on a college course for something finishing now and even a 2 year one giving her something to progress with from the end of next year. I originally said I’d be prepared to pay another 3 month SM but my solicitor thought it was unlikely to be agreed.

Gigervamp

I'm another one who thinks she's had a reasonable amount of time to adjust.

Good luck tomorrow Jack.