Separated, how much should I provide?

Thumper7

well that will have to go into the pot as well.

Has your solicitors done a schedule of assets and liabilities for you?


If not maybe you could do one for yourself, it could give you a rough idea of what sort of figures you are having to work with.


D

JackRS

Thumper7 wrote: »

well that will have to go into the pot as well.

Has your solicitors done a schedule of assets and liabilities for you?


If not maybe you could do one for yourself, it could give you a rough idea of what sort of figures you are having to work with.


D

Not sure done a lot of things but that doesn't ring a bell, probably not? are they included in the form E

GobbledyGook

JackRS wrote: »

Thank you, I don’t accept what she's asking for but as ever it'll be a compromise depending what is most important to us.

I think the following is fair:

· 50/50 house.
· paying 15% until our son is 20.
· No share of my pension
· Providing her with a car for another year

So you don't think there should be any spousal maintenance at all?

I don't think you'll get what you've listed. Actually, I hope this doesn't offend, but I don't think it's a fair split.

Your earning potential is greater, no matter how it came about hers is lesser because of the time spent at home with the children. If I was her I wouldn't walk away with half the house, no pension, a car for 12 months and the bare minimum in child support.

That said I think her stance that you should pay for everything forever is utterly unreasonable.

I think you will (should?) be looking at a higher % of the house to her on account of her having no pension. Also either a % of the house or an amount of spousal maintenance for a fixed time to allow her the chance to retrain/refresh skills/take voluntary work to give her fresh experience for a new job/career.

The maintenance I agree with you on. Anything over and above maintenance should be an agreed thing between you and your son or voluntary by you (for example my ex paid an amount over maintenance for nursery fees because he wanted DD2 to go to a specific nursery that was more expensive than others).

The pension and your house are going to be your two major sticking points. I can't see any judge handing you 50/50 on the house and your whole pension.

Mojisola

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I don't think you'll get what you've listed. Actually, I hope this doesn't offend, but I don't think it's a fair split.

Your earning potential is greater, no matter how it came about hers is lesser because of the time spent at home with the children.

I think you will (should?) be looking at a higher % of the house to her on account of her having no pension. Also either a % of the house or an amount of spousal maintenance for a fixed time to allow her the chance to retrain/refresh skills/take voluntary work to give her fresh experience for a new job/career.

She's had over a year to make a start as you suggest and hasn't bothered so far.

The pension and your house are going to be your two major sticking points. I can't see any judge handing you 50/50 on the house and your whole pension.

I think you're right about this. Personally, I'd rather go for splitting the house now to have some capital to help move on with life and share the pension (taking whatever she's got in her pension into account).

JackRS

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you're right about this. Personally, I'd rather go for splitting the house now to have some capital to help move on with life and share the pension (taking whatever she's got in her pension into account).

The acturies report takes both state and company pensions from us both into account so to split it it's basically she keeps hers which is something like 1/10 o total pot, so then gets an extra 4/10 from mine leaving me with the same 5/10 of the total combined values.

She's been through IT courses last year and I've given her some exel exercise I use as a test for recruiting some roles in my department.

GobbledyGook

I know what you mean Mojisola about the year (and I would take that off the length), I'm just thinking that from what happened with me a judge would give her longer to get back to 'full earning potential' (a phrase I grew to hate!) once she's told 'this is what is happening'.

Jack - You might be far better working out how much % of the house that 4/10 of your pension is worth. You'd be far better in the long term going 60/40 or 70/30 on the house, but keeping your pension than having a long term tie to her.

JackRS

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I know what you mean Mojisola about the year (and I would take that off the length), I'm just thinking that from what happened with me a judge would give her longer to get back to 'full earning potential' (a phrase I grew to hate!) once she's told 'this is what is happening'.

Jack - You might be far better working out how much % of the house that 4/10 of your pension is worth. You'd be far better in the long term going 60/40 or 70/30 on the house, but keeping your pension than having a long term tie to her.

Don't worry I know what it's all worth, I've calculated every possible outcome including Net present values.

GobbledyGook

JackRS wrote: »

Don't worry I know what it's all worth, I've calculated every possible outcome including Net present values.

I'm still confused by your solitictor - does he know what you think is fair and what you want?

You are paying a staggering amount in comparison to where you are wanting to be at. Yes, you'll have to compromise, but it seems that your ex's solicitor is far better at the 'aim high, compromise down' way better than yours.

JackRS

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I'm still confused by your solitictor - does he know what you think is fair and what you want?

You are paying a staggering amount in comparison to where you are wanting to be at. Yes, you'll have to compromise, but it seems that your ex's solicitor is far better at the 'aim high, compromise down' way better than yours.

I can understand your point. I have discussed with my solicitor their request and she said it’s exactly what she would put in for if she was representing my ex, so she’s aware of the their tactic.

When it comes to negotiating I have to decide what I’m prepared to let go and what I really want. Like you suggest they have rightly claimed that her earning potential will make mean her borrowing potential is less than mine so I know 50/50 would not be considered fair but also 100/0 in her favour would make it impossible for me to get a mortgage as I’ll have no deposit. Clearly a compromise is required so my suggestion may be 60/40, in which case the pension share may be adjusted and the maintenance terms could also be adjusted. There are obviously other possible combinations.

justme111

You sound very sound jack , good te read it. As I said before whatever happens its not going to be worse than now when you both have 0% from your house and pay maintenance. So chin up ,and writing a compnt to actuaries for takingng so long , doing something about house sale and moving back if its okd by solicitors now. I don't think it is just a coincidence that the opportunity to move back presented at the same .time as your rental expired.
Re your expenses - well you both live beyond your means now(new furniture and driving lessons ) , good news is that it is temporary so I would not panic if I.were you and I probably would have spent it the.same.
(Thinking ...) - nei , i would have got sofas from freecycle
Otherwise.the same