Changing my name - undecided

Georgiegirl256

Ignore that last post, I meant to edit it and I quoted it instead.

Thriftygifty

I've been married just over a month now and before I got married I was so confused but made the decision to keep my maiden name and maybe change it in the future but now being married I can safely say 100% I made the right decision and cant see me changing it in the future. I've had a few people say whats the point in getting married if you aren't changing your name! But if anyones got a problem with it it's their problem not mine, My husband and I are happy being us! I now go by the title Ms Maiden name and love it .

I told the vicar before we got married that I would be keeping my name and he didn't seem to have a problem just said thank you for letting me know so he didn't say and now Mr & Mrs X are married etc, and I let the photographer know so she didn't put Mr & Mrs X on our photo disc etc.

Passport wise left it in my Maiden name and bookings are done in my maiden name.

As for doctors etc just change it back it's only paperwork!

notanewuser

Bella73 wrote: »

To be honest I don't understand why people get so hung up over a name, I changed mine when I got married and you know I'm still the same person.

Can I also ask why people care about people knowing they are a "Mrs" I don't want to upset anyone as its personal choice but I honestly don't understand why it matters?? Am I missing something?

For me, I'm not prepared to be defined by my relationship just because I'm female. Nor do I agree with the tradition of ownership that it stems from. My husband is Mr, just as he was before we married. I'm Miss/Ms as I was before we were married. My not using Mrs doesn't make us any less married!

We don't always wear our wedding (or engagement) rings (just forget to put them on). Not wearing those doesn't make us less married either.

It's horses for courses I suppose.

Georgiegirl256

Bella73 wrote: »

To be honest I don't understand why people get so hung up over a name, I changed mine when I got married and you know I'm still the same person.

Can I also ask why people care about people knowing they are a "Mrs" I don't want to upset anyone as its personal choice but I honestly don't understand why it matters?? Am I missing something?

Tbh I'm not really that bothered Miss, Mrs, they're just titles, but it usually goes that when you're married you use Mrs....doesn't it?

You say you changed your name when you got married, then I assume you also use the title Mrs? So if that is the case, then why do you use it?

I'm currently debating wether to keep my maiden name or not, purely because I prefer it to my husbands surname, and also it's a pita to change everything.

burnoutbabe

Agreed. I don't think my Status as a person should be defined by whether I am married or not. A man is not. Does that not strike people as double standards? Its just incredibly old fashioned to define someone by their marital status. Does it matter to the gas board or the bank? Nope.

notanewuser

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Agreed. I don't think my Status as a person should be defined by whether I am married or not. A man is not. Does that not strike people as double standards? Its just incredibly old fashioned to define someone by their marital status. Does it matter to the gas board or the bank? Nope.

Almost 10 years on it still works for us!

Georgiegirl256

notanewuser wrote: »

For me, I'm not prepared to be defined by my relationship just because I'm female. Nor do I agree with the tradition of ownership that it stems from. My husband is Mr, just as he was before we married. I'm Miss/Ms as I was before we were married. My not using Mrs doesn't make us any less married!

We don't always wear our wedding (or engagement) rings (just forget to put them on). Not wearing those doesn't make us less married either. e.

Exactly, my husband took his off when we got home from the wedding :rotfl: I put mine on when I remember!

Mojisola

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Agreed. I don't think my Status as a person should be defined by whether I am married or not. A man is not. Does that not strike people as double standards? Its just incredibly old fashioned to define someone by their marital status. Does it matter to the gas board or the bank? Nope.

I started using Ms many years ago but it can still get reactions from people.

I wonder how men would feel if they were asked to state whether they were married or not every time they gave their name - "So that's the address where we'll deliver your goods, now you just need to tell me whether you're married or not". :rotfl:

Bella73

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Tbh I'm not really that bothered Miss, Mrs, they're just titles, but it usually goes that when you're married you use Mrs....doesn't it?

You say you changed your name when you got married, then I assume you also use the title Mrs? So if that is the case, then why do you use it?

I'm currently debating wether to keep my maiden name or not, purely because I prefer it to my husbands surname, and also it's a pita to change everything.

For me and yes it is personal choice, I do use the Mrs bit don't know why really but for me it was all part of the marriage process. I guess it helps that I prefer DH name to mine anyway:rotfl: but I like us having the same name and I don't mind being Mr and Mrs as to be honest it doesn't define me in my eyes as I'm still the same whether I was married or not but some people have asked why we bothered to get married as we aren't going to have children (I can't) which I found strange but hey ho their opinion.

I just don't mind whether people know if I am married as this is my second so I have Miss, Ms and Mrs at different stages in my life. I personally like the feeling of belonging with my other half as that is what he is to me, but I don't judge others if they happen to be Miss, Ms or Mrs as I have friends with all the titles amongst our circle.

Thriftygifty

notanewuser wrote: »

For me, I'm not prepared to be defined by my relationship just because I'm female. Nor do I agree with the tradition of ownership that it stems from. My husband is Mr, just as he was before we married. I'm Miss/Ms as I was before we were married. My not using Mrs doesn't make us any less married!

We don't always wear our wedding (or engagement) rings (just forget to put them on). Not wearing those doesn't make us less married either.

It's horses for courses I suppose.

That's exactly how we are, OH doesn't wear his ring to work as don't want him to loose his finger, then he comes home and put it on :rotfl: I wear mine to work and then take them off when I get home as its more comfortable for me hehe.