My husbeast is a cretin

[Deleted User]

BugglyB wrote: »

I doubt it. Have a look at some of the recent threads where women admit to having sent sexy text messages to other people. And were ripped to shreds for it.

OP why do you call him husbeast. Find that quite nauseating...

Haven't read the other posts but fair enough.

I just find it a little silly when other women (I assume!) are on here suggesting things like feeding him dog food and going at it like a pack.
Fair enough - hes well out of order but have a word and sort it out.

mumonashoestring

[quote=[Deleted User];60662269]Im wondering if the roles were reversed though, you same people would be excusing OPs behaviour making excuses like 'it serves him right for not paying you attention' and 'its only harmless fun'.

And you'd probably be egging her on with phrases like 'you go girl'.

Just wondering like.... ;-)[/QUOTE]

If I'd treated him with that little consideration and respect in an arena where our friends and family could see what I was doing I certainly wouldn't be on here showing off about it. Respect and consideration should go both ways in a marriage so if I'm not making him feel uncomfortable and undervalued by openly flirting with someone else online then I don't expect him to think that is acceptable behaviour.

[Deleted User]

BugglyB wrote: »

OP why do you call him husbeast. Find that quite nauseating...

Exactly. Just not nice.

mumonashoestring

[quote=[Deleted User];60662449]Fair enough. He was bang out of order like I said. He certainly deserves a talking to.

But what if he finds this thread. Surely then you're going to lose the moral high ground here because you are abusing him on another public forum.

Two wrongs and all that...[/QUOTE]

What moral high ground? This is a marriage, not a competition.

heartbreak_star

I think, on balance, you've done pretty well OP. Had a rant - as has been said this used to be done on the phone or over a cuppa but that's not as easy as it used to be - given him a flea in his ear and he has apologised.

No harm done on either side as far as I can see. He made a stupid mistake, you responded, all is hopefully well now.

HBS x

mumonashoestring

[quote=[Deleted User];60662513]Exactly. Just not nice.[/QUOTE]

Ooh my we like to make assumptions don't we? Have a look through past posts, you'll find it's an affectionate nickname and one that he, as a hulking great 6'5" bearded, long haired biker is rather fond of.

[Deleted User]

mumonashoestring wrote: »

If I'd treated him with that little consideration and respect in an arena where our friends and family could see what I was doing I certainly wouldn't be on here showing off about it. Respect and consideration should go both ways in a marriage so if I'm not making him feel uncomfortable and undervalued by openly flirting with someone else online then I don't expect him to think that is acceptable behaviour.

But I agree with you. Hes out of order.

[Deleted User]

mumonashoestring wrote: »

Ooh my we like to make assumptions don't we? Have a look through past posts, you'll find it's an affectionate nickname and one that he, as a hulking great 6'5" bearded, long haired biker is rather fond of.

OK. Fair enough. Aplogies. Made the assumption it was a term of abuse.... :A

mumonashoestring

[quote=[Deleted User];60662643]OK. Fair enough. Aplogies. Made the assumption it was a term of abuse.... :A[/QUOTE]

Fair enough given the context

RuthnJasper

[quote=[Deleted User];60662269]Im wondering if the roles were reversed though, you same people would be excusing OPs behaviour making excuses like 'it serves him right for not paying you attention' and 'its only harmless fun'.

And you'd probably be egging her on with phrases like 'you go girl'.

Just wondering like.... ;-)[/QUOTE]

Well, it's a fair point - but I certainly wouldn't do that. I'm not in a relationship at the moment but, if I was, then flirting on FB or anywhere else behind my OH's back is one thing that I'd definitely rule out.

Personally, I think that if someone is feeling neglected/ignored in a relationship it should be attended to within that relationship. It's not fair to creep around behind your partner's back and I certainly wouldn't condone it whatever the situation.

Like others have said though, the OP has handled it really well in this case and I'm sure her OH has learned a good lesson.

I'm all for "The Sisterhood" and that, but (for me) that doesn't extend to stitching up your man.

Not when there are so many delicious varieties of Chum available...