My husbeast is a cretin

[Deleted User]

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Really? I would view it as fishing..seeing what response you might get....well that's how I have seen my OHs similar behaviour.
But he gave the same reason as you.
He just did it. Didn't think. Hmmmm not sure I buy that...:rotfl:

Yeh but its a different continent. Not as if its going to lead to something....

[Deleted User]

BugglyB wrote: »

paulfoel, I'm honestly not sure why you're trying to make this out as a gender issue, as I dont think it is one.

I know lots of my male friends would be upset to see their wife posting on a photo of a man that 'I have a new favourite photo of you, you're lucky I'm not on the same continent as you'. Don't you think?

As for, he's a bloke and we do stupid things sometimes. No. Not a valid reason. Some women behave like that all the time, and some men, don't, ever. Thats as stupid as saying 'how am I supposed to know you're supposed to put oil in the car, I'm a girl'.

Yes we all have thoughts and feelings about other people, but its what you do about them that counts.

I find it suspicious you are explaining this man's motives that you don't know...you're not the OP's husband are you?!

LOL. No I'm not the husband..... :-)

suburbanwifey

My husband isn't on FB he hates the thing and I'm pretty sure if he was he would not do something like that! I'm a bit shocked but only because this is the 2nd time I have heard about this now. A friend of ours, I am on his FB and he lives with a GF of 15 years and has 2 kids. He regularly comments on women on his FB, has *liked* several half dressed celebrities pages and their almost pornographic photos and regularly comments in a similar way to what your hubby did. I personally would have kicked him out years ago, the first time he did it but she seems to pathetically controlled by him that she tolerates it. Why she wants him is beyond me, he's a closet pervert and a budding unfaithful !!!. Your husband is going down this road. I'd offer him a ticket to the US, he's no prize for sure.

My sympathies. Hey! Why don't you scout around for some half dressed men on there and comment on how much fitter, better looking and sexy they are compared to the old washed up !!! you are stuck with? Maybe that will let him see what it feels like!

Manchee

suburbanwifey wrote: »

My sympathies. Hey! Why don't you scout around for some half dressed men on there and comment on how much fitter, better looking and sexy they are compared to the old washed up !!! you are stuck with? Maybe that will let him see what it feels like!

Yes because an eye for an eye is the best way to deal with everything, and disrespecting someone is the best way of teaching them to respect you *cue eyes rolling smilie*

suburbanwifey

Manchee wrote: »

Yes because an eye for an eye is the best way to deal with everything, and disrespecting someone is the best way of teaching them to respect you *cue eyes rolling smilie*

You make a very good point but in my experience some people only learn when the eye for an eye way of doing things occurs. I have always been an eye for an eye type person and its hasn't done me badly in life so I guess its each to their own. You can't teach some people how to respect others, you can only teach them the consequences of badly treating others.

Manchee

suburbanwifey wrote: »

You make a very good point but in my experience some people only learn when the eye for an eye way of doing things occurs. I have always been an eye for an eye type person and its hasn't done me badly in life so I guess its each to their own. You can't teach some people how to respect others, you can only teach them the consequences of badly treating others.

I can understand that but if you start going down this road in a relationship you're more than likely to only erode any respect and trust you have for each other. Who wants to be in a relationship thats based on tit for tat, rather than mutual trust and understanding?

suburbanwifey

Manchee wrote: »

I can understand that but if you start going down this road in a relationship you're more than likely to only erode any respect and trust you have for each other. Who wants to be in a relationship thats based on tit for tat, rather than mutual trust and understanding?

Well as I've managed to maintain a 26 year marriage so far I don't think I am doing too badly, but there again, what mutual trust is there with a man who quite plainly flaunts his lust for a stranger on the internet to all and sundry and his wife? I wouldn't trust a man like that nor would I want to be with him, so tit for tat would be well deserved. But I see your point. The problem with being too nice in all relationships though is often a woman (as its usually them that suffer in this way) can be too understanding, too forgiving and to be quite frank, that tells the man that he can do what he likes! and he will continue to. I don't think her husband can be trusted but that is just my opinion, not everyone's and my way of dealing with him would be different to yours, but there again, I would consider myself well shut of a man like that.

neverdespairgirl

[quote=[Deleted User];60663067]

BUT, I've got friends wifes who would, literally, cut off their bits if they did this. Myself and my wife find this very strange.

I trust my wife, she trusts me . I'd never do anything to hurt her and vice versa but things like this are harmless at the end of the day......

[/QUOTE]

I find it more strange that people are determined to see strip clubs etc as "harmless".

I've dealt, professionally, with quite a lot of strippers. And many are exploited, abused, and highly vulnerable.

So it might be "harmless" as far as you're concerned, but only because you lack the imagination or empathy to consider it properly.

Joons

suburbanwifey wrote: »

Well as I've managed to maintain a 26 year marriage so far I don't think I am doing too badly, but there again, what mutual trust is there with a man who quite plainly flaunts his lust for a stranger on the internet to all and sundry and his wife? I wouldn't trust a man like that nor would I want to be with him, so tit for tat would be well deserved. But I see your point. The problem with being too nice in all relationships though is often a woman (as its usually them that suffer in this way) can be too understanding, too forgiving and to be quite frank, that tells the man that he can do what he likes! and he will continue to. I don't think her husband can be trusted but that is just my opinion, not everyone's and my way of dealing with him would be different to yours, but there again, I would consider myself well shut of a man like that.

Just out of interest, would you end your 26 year marriage over a stupid comment? The guy wrote what he thought, if we all did that, nobody would be married, he's a plonker for sure but I don't think it warrants divorce.

POPPYOSCAR

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I find it more strange that people are determined to see strip clubs etc as "harmless".

I've dealt, professionally, with quite a lot of strippers. And many are exploited, abused, and highly vulnerable.

So it might be "harmless" as far as you're concerned, but only because you lack the imagination or empathy to consider it properly.

I agree.

A man I know once told me of going to a strip club and watching a young girl with tears in her eyes as she stripped.

This really made him think and he stopped going.

So not all men are "plonkers' as some seem to think.