My husbeast is a cretin

POPPYOSCAR

pigpen wrote: »

I know someone who actually loves such work. She said it makes her feel sexy and beautiful which men in real life don't do for her. She doesn't feel degraded or abused she feels special and important.

They don't all fit the stereotype.

That is great for her.

But how sad that men in real life do not make her feel that way.

I want a man to want me for who I am not what I look like. I do not see personally how men lusting after my naked body would make me feel sexy and beautiful. They probably do not even look at her face!

ruby-roo_2

I think strip clubs are sleazy places.

Caitlin_Bree

mumonashoestring wrote: »

It was posted on her wall rather than directed at the Husbeast and she's not to blame for his decision to react to it like an (unusually articulate) safari park chimp.

This made me laugh as I remember the context of this phrase from MonkeyDust, regarding how Roger had really spent his day.
Bad Roger!
Bad Husbeast!

aileth

pigpen wrote: »

I know someone who actually loves such work. She said it makes her feel sexy and beautiful which men in real life don't do for her. She doesn't feel degraded or abused she feels special and important.

They don't all fit the stereotype.

I used to know someone who did pole/lap dancing and felt the same. It made her feel incredibly empowered, and the ££££ which she used to pimp out her wardrobe was an added bonus for her too. Instead of feeling like the men were taking advantage of her, she did very much believe that she was taking advantage of them, which I think is very true!

bitemebankers

marisco wrote: »

I disagree. I guess it depends on how much a woman values her self worth.

In a way, it does - not for the reasons you're trying to make out though. If you've got a lot of self confidence in the first place, sex work is not necessarily going to undermine that confidence - quite the contrary. I have a close friend (nearly girlfriend at one point last year) who directs and stars in adult films. She's an educated, middle-class professional who, some years ago, decided to double her salary and take control of her life. Previously she was a customer service manager - a job which she hated and felt demeaned by. She's much happier in her current job and the only downside is the opprobrium she faces from narrow-minded trying to "explain" to her that she absolutely must be a vulnerable and abused by men.

If you engage with and actually talk to people, you'll find that a lot of sex workers do not fit the stereotype of abused and vulnerable. Some have deliberately chosen that career and don't want or need anyone's pity. For those people, it's really very tiresome and more than a little irritating to hear these blanket assumptions trotted out as fact every time there's a debate like this.

That said, I'm not sure how much this has to do with the OP's issue, which is really one of trust and loyalty.

Person_one

bitemebankers wrote: »

the only downside is the opprobrium she faces from narrow-minded trying to "explain" to her that she absolutely must be a vulnerable and abused by men.

I don't think its the only downside:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/hiv-positive-performer-shuts-la-!!!!!!-industry/story?id=14412090#.UW5jRb9Sb_c

I only hope she doesn't make the kind of !!!!!! that seems to rely on the women looking like they're in pain bordering on sexual violence, which unfortunately, is what most of it seems to be about these days.

Lotus-eater

[quote=[Deleted User];60689751]Some people on this thread need to chill out a bit![/QUOTE]
Quite right, I'm one of a minority it seems. So he made a passing comment on a woman's picture who lives on the other side of the world.
Er... and?

I could say some other stuff that the ladies on here wouldn't want to hear, despite it being true for most men. But as I say, ladies don't always want to hear the truth about men, just want them to be the way THEY want them to be.

heartbreak_star

I'm female and I think the OP's hubs made what he considered to be a throwaway comment. He realised he'd done an oopsie, apologised, and took the ear-bashing.

Done. It's how I would have dealt with it too.

HBS x

bitemebankers

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think its the only downside:

Not really an issue for my friend as she only does solo and girl-on-girl. You make a valid point though, and I don't like to see !!!!!! without condoms being used - it's just strikes me as unnecessarily risky for all concerned. Exactly the same could be said of any unprotected sex though - this issue is hardly specific to sex work.

Joons

marisco wrote: »

I disagree. I guess it depends on how much a woman values her self worth. No amount of money could ever make me do anything like that.

Disagree with what?

You wouldn't, some women would and do.