What Do I Do

vodkachick68

tesuhoha wrote: »

Hi

Its a diet where you calorie restrict for two non consecutive days a week (say Monday and Thursday). Women are allowed up to 500 calories and men 600. The rest of the time you can eat normally without calorie counting. You can have treats but best not to pig out totally.

Its easy because you just don't go over that 500 calories because you know next day you can eat. Overall, there is a deficit of calories over say a month and you lose weight and inches. Its supposed to help with preventing dementia and is generally good for the health. There is a thread on here about it in detail.

Thanks,sounds interesting. I shall look at it in more detail. Sorry for hijacking your thread OP

tesuhoha

thewalkingdead wrote: »

access to services where i live is dire, theres not a dietician in my area at all and have to travel 50 miles and wait upto 6 months for the refural to go through.

the GP encourages her to lose weight, has given her orlistat but she doesnt like the side effects of them and tend not to take them on a regular basis, even though i would remind her.

she doesnt binge eat, we eat home cooked meals, at structured time and dont eat after 8pm.

she knows that i will support her and encourage her i have told her many times over.

she's been to dance classes zumba etc, her friends go with her and then they drop out and then she gives up.

If thats the case, is she eating between meals? Because she should not be overweight on 3 home cooked meals a day. Does she eat chocolate, crisps or cake? A lot of carbs? The main thing about losing weight is not exercise, its what you are eating.

I think your wife needs to learn to love food. That is, eat less of it and enjoy it more. Rather than eat a chocolate bar she should eat a couple of squares of dark chocolate that is high in cocoa solids. That will satisfy a craving for chocolate. Its also amazing how, if you cut out sugar completely, the craving for it goes away very quickly.

Also, people are less likely to be overweight if they eat full fat products, i.e full fat milk and yoghurt, butter etc. It fills you up for longer. What makes you fat are carbs and sugar. For instance, if your wife ate bacon and eggs for breakfast it would be more satisfying and less fattening than a bowl of muesli and would keep the hunger pangs away longer. Thats why people are blown out after Christmas dinner because of all the fat.

I know I keep going on about the 5:2 but it does help to reduce the appetite better than any pills. You find yourself not bothered about food but at the same time you love what you do eat. There was a study done of this diet and people that ate a high fat diet on non fast days did better with losing weight than those who ate low fat.

thunderbird

What diets has she tried and in what way have they failed - does she start buying extra food? snack between meals? ??

Exercise - if she doesn't like going out to a class on her own, she could do some at home. Get dvds or look on youtube.
Best for weight loss is exercising with weights - again, look online to get ideas.
Also just incorporate more exercise into everyday life - walk more, gardening, go up and down the stairs in your house, when out and about never take the lift and if you use an escalator then walk rather than standing still. Just take every opportunity to move more - it will soon become natural. Don't know what your disability is - but if you can do what you can to follow this too it will help.

thorsoak

1. You say you are physically disabled - has this happened since your marriage?

2. You have children - how many, what ages?

3. Does your wife work?

4. Has she said that she is unhappy?

thewalkingdead

she doesnt have sugar in tea she dont drink coffea, we have breakfast, wich consists of cereal, dinner wich is proabably something like, salad and fresh cooked meats, potatoes, and the onto supper wich could either be a cooked dinner, chicken in redwine suace, chicken in white cream sauce, fish mash and oinions etc.

she does eat small amounts inbetween foods, nothing with chocolate in i would say something like creme cheese on crackers, or a ham salad sandwich, or a packet of chrisps. she rarely drinks coke, but like the stuff that gives you wings and ive begged her not to drink that stuff.

we drink alot of tea with semi skimmed milk etc.

thewalkingdead

thorsoak wrote: »

1. You say you are physically disabled - has this happened since your marriage?

2. You have children - how many, what ages?

3. Does your wife work?

4. Has she said that she is unhappy?

1.no happened a few years ago.

2.no myself and my daughter are both disabled she's our main carer.

3.she gets depressed over things, lost her mum when she was young, and most her family are distant from us.

tesuhoha

thewalkingdead wrote: »

she doesnt have sugar in tea she dont drink coffea, we have breakfast, wich consists of cereal, dinner wich is proabably something like, salad and fresh cooked meats, potatoes, and the onto supper wich could either be a cooked dinner, chicken in redwine suace, chicken in white cream sauce, fish mash and oinions etc.

she does eat small amounts inbetween foods, nothing with chocolate in i would say something like creme cheese on crackers, or a ham salad sandwich, or a packet of chrisps. she rarely drinks coke, but like the stuff that gives you wings and ive begged her not to drink that stuff.

we drink alot of tea with semi skimmed milk etc.

Maybe she should start off by cutting out the eating between meals. Its actually quite enjoyable feeling hungry for the next meal once you get used to it and you enjoy your food more. That is one thing she could do which would not be too difficult and she could cut it out slowly. The tea is ok I think and the food sounds fine so it must be what she is eating between meals. Maybe she should have porridge for breakfast rather than cereal as porridge has a higher fat content and cereal has a lot of sugar in it. Or if she doesn't have a wheat allergy, shredded wheat is okay as a cereal (no sugar).

thorsoak

She's not the only person who has physically changed in your marriage - you have too!

You don't say what ages your children are - but she is your main carer - so does that mean that you are on benefits and an impaired income?

I'm not surprised that she gets depressed - as your main carer, she must feel that everything depends upon her - and maybe, just maybe she resents your worrying about her weight, thinking that you are only worried about her not being able to care for you. It's not unusual for a carer to subconsciously resent the position that they find themselves in!

thewalkingdead

thunderbird wrote: »

What diets has she tried and in what way have they failed - does she start buying extra food? snack between meals? ??

Exercise - if she doesn't like going out to a class on her own, she could do some at home. Get dvds or look on youtube.
Best for weight loss is exercising with weights - again, look online to get ideas.
Also just incorporate more exercise into everyday life - walk more, gardening, go up and down the stairs in your house, when out and about never take the lift and if you use an escalator then walk rather than standing still. Just take every opportunity to move more - it will soon become natural. Don't know what your disability is - but if you can do what you can to follow this too it will help.

chalorie counting.
harcombe
slimmingworld
swimming
zumba fitness
slimfast
low cal high protein.
orlistat prescription aids.

she has wrist weights and dumbells, wii fit wii board,zumba for the wii, micheal jackson on wii and other dance games.

she doesnt go out very much, (more down to me not being able to do things).

i can walk slowly at a short distance i cant climb many flights of stairs.

janninew

cazzap06 wrote: »

I hope she finds her confidence from within as that is where she is going to find it , there are things which don't HELP a persons confidence but yes she does have to find it for herself and not let any thing or any one knock it .... hard as it may seem , she is just as loveable overweight as her 'perfect' healthy weight as she is the same person inside but sounds like she has lost her vibrancy and I hope she gets it back either with your help or in spite of you as I believe she deserves love and cuddles and she gained weight giving birth to YOUR children remember!!!!!!!!!

Large people are sexy in their own right as are thin people , the worst thing is losing your confidence whatever size you are and I hope she finds hers for herself very soon! xx

( I have gained weight myself but this is me - I love and accept me as I am right at this moment in time , belly flab and all , and I refuse to lose my confidence for anyone and real sexiness comes from within ) :-) :-)

Sorry but having children is no reason at all to double in size, plenty of women have children without reaching 19 stone. Yes our bodies change, but having children isn't reason to gain so much weight.

OP I think you do care and want to get things back on track, otherwise you wouldn't have posted. Maybe a proper sit down and talk is needed. Its very hard though, as others have said, she has to be the one who wants to change.

Good luck OP.