What Do I Do

abailey54

thewalkingdead wrote: »

how ive supported er in the past in losing wieght:
not only purchased things
i have verbally been supportive, your looking great hun keep up the hard work, i help her research and make sense of diets, i help get into a routine, i encourage the good things, she sets goals and make them realistsic for her, she would set agoal that would be unrealistic 1 stone per month etc wich is unrealistic unless you use drugs and laxatives and make yourself sick, i help ease her into excersize rather than go all out and wreck herself.
i rewarded her when she lost weight and when she didnt so her moral didnt get quashed.

From my point of view, when my husband has been all 'well-done' and 'keep up the good work' about me and my dieting, I found it immensely irritating and patronising - he meant well of course, but knows nothing about dieting or nutritional value of food as he's always been able to scoff down the pork scratchings and remain super slim. What I meant by my previous post is that you might think that what you are doing is helpful and supportive, but actually it might not be helping her - her getting into a smaller dress size and feeling energetic will be reward enough perhaps

Maybe backing off a little, and let her control her dieting (let her do all the research, let her set her own goals, even if that means she fails in them) might help. Or maybe a bit of counselling at relate might help her discover and communicate what she needs to make the change for good.