MSE pregnancy club II

feelinggood_2

skintchick wrote: »

Feelie what's going on with him? Why is he not talking to you? Is it to do with the baby or something else? (((hugs)))

He is just struggling to deal with the affair and the fact that the baby might not be his :-/

Probably also worried that I won't cope with either a miscarriage or pregnancy. Not in particularly good health.

Well, thats what I'm assuming, I don't know.

Toto

astonsmummy wrote: »

How long go was that? I'm just thinking i'll get them in 5 working days, any earlier and it's a bonus!

I just checked my notes and it was 14th May. They actually told me there was a bit of a back log at the lab so I was really surprised to get the call.

skintchick

feelinggood wrote: »

He is just struggling to deal with the affair and the fact that the baby might not be his :-/

Probably also worried that I won't cope with either a miscarriage or pregnancy. Not in particularly good health.

Well, thats what I'm assuming, I don't know.

Oh I'm sorry - I had missed that part. Now I understand. Well, he has to decide what he wants I guess, and you do too. Regarding your health, that is what doctors are for! They will look after you and I'm sure you will look after yourself as well. I am worried that mentally i will get ill after this mc so I'm taking extra care, and I'm sure you will do that for yourself too.

Have you decided what to do about finding out whose child it is? Or is he just going to bring it up as his?

Sorry if you've covered all this already - I must have missed some posts and I didn;t realise there was this extra complication.

I think right now you must do what is best for you and the baby - and if that is going away for a bit then you shoudl do that. He is piling extra problems on you at a time when you don;t need them.

But I think he has to talk to you - that is the only way forward.

feelinggood_2

I'm scared to tell them how bad I'm feeling - I don't want to come across as unstable incase they put the baby into care :-/ I'm having pretty bad thoughts at the moment, made worse by the withdrawls from the medication.

He said he wanted us to raise the baby, and to not have a dna test. We told the family we were having a baby, and we were so happy at the weekend. Now he is just completely blanking me.

Toto

Hi everyone. I've been to see the community midwife today (mine is lovely) and decided to go for the home birth. So, assuming that all is ok when I go for the placental site scan on 24th (it was low, preying it's moved up) then I am good to get on with it. Now we just need to hope that hubby is in the country when the baby decides to arrive :rolleyes:

MrsTinks

Skint if not mistaken I think feeling posted it in a seperate thread on here under a different name

Feeling I have to say I think his reaction is a pretty normal one given the circumstances and I'm surprised he took it well to start with... Telling people you're pregnant and not mentioning that the baby might not be his is putting a whole bunch of pressure on him too. He never asked for any of this and his emotions must be all over the place right now: Like can he really bring up another mans child lying to everyone and say it's his? What if his parents find out? It's not really their grandchild? What will people think of him, you, the baby?
He might be withdrawing because he just doesn't know what to feel right now and his one big bundle of mixed emotions. He'd probably have been happy and worried about your health if this complication hadn't been there but it is... The positive thing is that he's not walked away straight off the mark so obviously he still has feelings for you. Whether he'll cope, best intentions or not, with you having another mans child is a totally different matter... And I think you know that.

r.mac_2

feelinggood wrote: »

I'm scared to tell them how bad I'm feeling - I don't want to come across as unstable incase they put the baby into care :-/ I'm having pretty bad thoughts at the moment, made worse by the withdrawls from the medication.

He said he wanted us to raise the baby, and to not have a dna test. We told the family we were having a baby, and we were so happy at the weekend. Now he is just completely blanking me.

fg - sounds to me like you need to talk to someone. How would your OH react if you said to him what you've just posted - would he sit down and talk things through or would he not know how to react??? Please don't be afraid to talk to someone. It shows more strength than you realise I think

pg is an odd and emotional time, even for those in the most stable of situations in the most planned environments. You are absolutely normal for you to be feeling all over the place. If you ever fancy a chat - just pm me :A

Sarahsaver

Just popping in to say hi.
babysaver is dioing v well and feeding LOTS, she has a very strong sucking reflex and can even find a nipple in the dark LOL :eek:

MrsTinks

feelinggood wrote: »

I'm scared to tell them how bad I'm feeling - I don't want to come across as unstable incase they put the baby into care :-/ I'm having pretty bad thoughts at the moment, made worse by the withdrawls from the medication.

He said he wanted us to raise the baby, and to not have a dna test. We told the family we were having a baby, and we were so happy at the weekend. Now he is just completely blanking me.

feeling - you need to speak to your psyciatric care giver - be that nurse or doctor etc - you've come of some pretty powerful medications and it WILL affect you - it might be that they have to put you back on them and take you off gradually as a sudden withdrawal can actually in some cases be more harmful than not taking the drugs.

Unless you're open with the doctors etc they can't help you - they can't read your mind and they need to you tell you what you're feeling and what is going on...

Krystaltips

That's great news Sarah, takes some babies months to find a nipple in the daylight, let alone in the dark!!

Do feel free to PM me if you want to know anything... (No matter how ridiculous you think it is!!)