MSE pregnancy club II

ella_ella_ella

This is Natasha (chubby chops) at one and a half days old - please ignore the state of me!!

3KIDSNOMONEY

Samantham06 - welcome , don't forget to add yourself to the list, or if you want someone to do it for you please ask. Having had my first child at 19 i can identify with what you say. Some people do look down on you - i was in a similar situation that we both worked, no benefits and own home. Some midwives and health professionals are like it with everyone so it isn't always down to your age. I think that you were definitely right to go to the hospital after the midwife brushed you off. It's hard, but especially when you are young and pregnant and a young mum you really have to push for what you want and not let others brush you off or push you about. I am 36 weeks pregnant and 30 years old now and sometimes you can still be made to feel like a silly school girl by some professionals - hopefully now i am a little more confident to stick up for what i want - but even now it is hard. Glad to hear you are back at home now and feeling better.

ella-ella-ella - she's georgous and you look great, especially as you have just had a baby.

foreversomeday

ella, she is gorgeous! Congratulations.

Can anyone help me with a question about maternity rights/pay? I'm thinking of making a separate thread in case anyone can help who's not on this one, but I'll ask here first.

I've been working full time for this company since July. I haven't signed a contract (yet,) mainly because they're all a bit disorganised and my boss has just recently gone on long term sick leave. The doctors say he will recover, but I don't want to worry him with any extra stress. I've asked the acting manager, and he keeps saying he will get me a contract but forgets. I have been paying NI though, and have a space for maternity pay on my payslip.

They're nice people, and when I tell them I'm expecting I think they'll be happy for me, but I'm a bit worried about whether I'll get any maternity pay. If I sign a contract now, it'll presumably be from now, whereas I need to be employed by the company for 26 weeks before my 15th week before due date - in other words, one week before I got pregnant in the first place!

I've decided not to tell them until the 12-week scan, anyway, to give myself some time to think. I know I probably won't be coming back after I leave, though there's a big possibility if I buy some specialist software that I could do work for them from home as long as I was in email contact, which could work.

My other problem is that it's a very small company and I'm worried that paying me maternity pay, and my boss sick pay, and not getting much work out of either of us could put them in a very difficult position financially, and I don't want to do that because they've been very good to me.

I think I need to sit down and have a chat with the acting manager, but before I do that I was just wondering if anybody did have any advice they could give me.

Thanks.

Amy + Junior (6w3d)

chocaholic110

ella, she's beautiful! I'm sorry about your grandad though

samantha - don't worry about it too much. I had my first baby at 20 and felt the way you did and thought it was because I was young. However, I've just had my third, aged 33, been married for over 10 years and teaching for 5 - you'd think I wouldn't feel like that, yes? But sadly, no. I still feel patronised by some (but by no means all) health professionals. My midwife is very laid back and fobbed off all my concerns. If it wasn't for the fact that I had a different midwife for my last appointment I'm sure I wouldn't have been admitted for pre-eclampsia (as I'd had similar symptons and blood pressure for a while and my own midwife kept saying i was fine) so wouldn't have been getting daily monitored so no-one would have known my baby was in distress and needed to be delivered. But when I voiced concerns over headaches etc I was made to feel a bit neurotic.

Similarly the health visitor was out this week and I felt she was rather patronising too (including reminding me that when you pick a newborn up, you have to support their head...noooo! You don't say!!!).

Bun

3kids - congratulations on the driving! That really is fantastic. Hope you are ok after your postings re urine etc a while back.

Ella - Natasha is lovely, so glad she is doing well. So sorry to hear about your grandad though. Do let all the health visitors etc know so they can factor this into any notes they make on you in the next few weeks etc.

Choc - can't believe your previous midwife was that bad. Have you put in a complaint? Next time the poor mum may not be so lucky. Even some retraining may help.

Have another stinking cold and chesty cough which is great with my asthma, so feeling a bit down and feeling a bit rubbish. My hands and feet seem a bit puffy too, but as nothing at all so far (only pregnancy sign is a football at the front) I'm hoping that this is ok. My blood pressure etc was perfect on Wednesday so will keep an eye on it but sure it will be ok.

Going to my mum's for the weekend so looking forward to that.
Hope everybody else is ok too.

Bun

foreversomeday wrote: »

ella, she is gorgeous! Congratulations.

Can anyone help me with a question about maternity rights/pay? I'm thinking of making a separate thread in case anyone can help who's not on this one, but I'll ask here first.

I've been working full time for this company since July. I haven't signed a contract (yet,) mainly because they're all a bit disorganised and my boss has just recently gone on long term sick leave. The doctors say he will recover, but I don't want to worry him with any extra stress. I've asked the acting manager, and he keeps saying he will get me a contract but forgets. I have been paying NI though, and have a space for maternity pay on my payslip.

They're nice people, and when I tell them I'm expecting I think they'll be happy for me, but I'm a bit worried about whether I'll get any maternity pay. If I sign a contract now, it'll presumably be from now, whereas I need to be employed by the company for 26 weeks before my 15th week before due date - in other words, one week before I got pregnant in the first place!

I've decided not to tell them until the 12-week scan, anyway, to give myself some time to think. I know I probably won't be coming back after I leave, though there's a big possibility if I buy some specialist software that I could do work for them from home as long as I was in email contact, which could work.

My other problem is that it's a very small company and I'm worried that paying me maternity pay, and my boss sick pay, and not getting much work out of either of us could put them in a very difficult position financially, and I don't want to do that because they've been very good to me.

I think I need to sit down and have a chat with the acting manager, but before I do that I was just wondering if anybody did have any advice they could give me.

Thanks.

Amy + Junior (6w3d)

Sorry I haven't time to post in depth but if you aren't able to get SMP you may be able to get the same amount in Maternity Allowance (via jobcentre plus). Have a look on the dti.gov site and search on the forums here as it's being discussed at the moment.

keelykat

Hello!

Me again (sorry!).... i got my letter today giving me the date of my first antenatal appointment-can't wait to see the scan of our baby! And i can't wait to finally tell everyone, its killing me! not even my mom knows yet, theres only so long i can keep avoiding her and she keeps asking me on the phone 'any news to tell me this week?'

Anyone else not telling untill the three month/12 week mark?

I left my morning part time job just over a week ago, so im enjoying staying in bed in the mornings. My other one isnt untill early evening, so im getting more rest now.

Keely.

destiny_star2006

i couldnt help telln ppl with both me babies lol the excitement was killing me i told ppl when i was only 2 weeks pregnant lol big mistake tho cos it feels as tho its taking forever

samantham06

Hi amy,
i
had the same probelm as you, when i fell pregant i was working in a really small company (there was only 3 of us!) and when i told my boss i was pregant he pretty much sacked me , he said that he couldnt afford to pay me maternity pay (although employers actually get it refunded back from the government!) So dont worry about 'taking money from your ill boss' as it doesnt come out of their pocket!
Anyway I found myself another part time job as a receptionist, but had the same problem as you- that i hadnt been with the company long enough to get SMP (by 3 weeks- gutted!) so they advised me to go to the job centre and claim maternity allowance.
I did this and now have found out that i am entitled to a flat rate of £112.00 per week for 39 weeks, which is great!
Just to help you out- you get maternity allowance if you have worked for at least 39 weeks in your test period (basically you have to have worked for 39 weeks out of a year) As long as you have paid some NI contributions then you will be eligible. As long as you earn over £112.00 per week then you get the full £122.00 for 9 months, otherwise you get 90% of your earnings.

I warn you though when i went to my local jobcentre they didnt know anything about maternity allowance, (they said they didnt specialise in it!!) so i found it easier to go online and research it myself.

Oh and by the way the company you are with has to (BY LAW) keep your job open for you for 39 weeks, you are also entitled to reasonable paid time off for baby realted appointments! I wish id known this when i first found out i was pregant instead of letting my boss screw me over- i couldve taken him to a tribunial- bit late now otherwise i would!

Anyway i hope this helps as i know how much it stressed me out when i thought i would be without any pay for 9 months! If you need any further help let me know or just look up employement rights whilst pregant on google.

Also many thanks to those of you who gave me advice about the midwifes and being a young mum- it really helps to hear it from someone who has been through it!
xxx
p.s ella- your baby is gorgeous - congratualtions!
:beer:

samantham06

Oh jsut quickly would somebody mind adding me to the list? as im not sure how to do it - many thanks (hes due 14/03/08) xx