a mess

thorsoak

teaandcupcakesplease wrote: »

no of course i wouldnt - ive never said i am in a stable relationship, what i have said however is that i know whats wrong.

I am concentrating on the future for the three of us. If i wasnt i woulnt be trying to get my heard out my !!!!!

Personally, I think that you would be better advised to be working on the future for just the TWO of you - yourself and your baby.

What happened in the past has happened. You cannot change that. Concentrate on the future now.

shoppaholic_returns

Well speaking from experience of being with the wrong partner, believe me if you were with the right man you would not be cheating on him.

I think that when you do find the right partner, it may sound like a cliche, but you know. And it is VERY important that you are compatible sexually. Lots of people say it does not matter, it's not the be all and end all, but it is a tremendous help if you fancy each other and want to be together.

Don't kid yourself into thinking you can fix something that will never be. Set free your unsuspecting OH, so he can find someone who is right for him, and you someone right for you. Otherwise you wil become embittered about the whole thing.

teaandcupcakesplease

marisco wrote: »

Sorry OP but it is coming across loud and clear that it is all about 'me,me,me' in your mind. Life does not work like that.

eh no, i think not. i just dont expect it to bacome a slagging match aimed at me when that was not the point of it.

i actually agreed with most of the things you said and value your advise however i dont think my original post warrents abuse, thats all.

Joons

I apologise if you feel I was being abusive, it was never my intent. I am trying to get across to you that the reason you are upset about this loser is because you don't truly love your partner, you did ask, I'm just educating a guess that is the reason why.

paulineb_2

You dont want someone but you dont want them to find happiness (or what passes as happiness) with someone else

Emotions are funny sometimes and we dont always feel the way we should even when someone isnt good for us

Cut the contact, it doesnt help. Im speaking from experience with someone who took a lot longer to get over than he should have because he stayed in my life when he should have exited it.

And the decision to tell your OH or to stay or go is yours alone. It can take a long time for people to actually realise that someone isnt exciting, they are a bit of a ratbag.

Cut him loose and then make a decision about where you go from here.

teaandcupcakesplease

I honestly do love my partner but I do recognise that my relationship is lacking something. Apologies too Joons I know your just trying to help x

FBaby

OP, It is just that you have given up something that was good that's it. You've made the right decision, you know you have, you're pleased you have, but you have still suffered a loss, however a good loss it is.

Don't beat yourself up about it. You are jealous today, you won't care tomorrow. Definitely cut all contact with him though, that's where your problem lies, the reminder of your loss is in your face.

teaandcupcakesplease

Thank you FBaby x

Joons

teaandcupcakesplease wrote: »

I honestly do love my partner but I do recognise that my relationship is lacking something. Apologies too Joons I know your just trying to help x

No need, I understand your reaction, it doesn't feel nice I'm sure all of us telling you off.

Maybe I was being a bit judgemental, I've never had an affair so that's why I'm so anti-affairs, sorry!

rhapsody_princess

Did you get pregnant to prove a point to your fling/affair?

Did he try to end it? You're reaction was to show you didn't need him i.e get pregnant?

Your partner who loves you seems like an easy option and you were craving the chase?