How long before you get serious?

jackomdj

I agree that each couple are different.

OH and I met at a nightclub, I was visiting a relative in a town I had never been to, he had gone to visit friends for the weekend too. He came to visit me 2 weekends later, stayed the night but nothing happened. He came to visit the following weekend and moved in the weekend after that! He was in the services and was posted near where I lived. He paid for his accommodation for 6 months but got it back as he never stayed there.

We have been together for 18 years now. I knew that he was te one from day one, although I was not looking at the time having come out of a nasty marriage just a year before.

Do what you think is right, nobody else can tell you either way.

[Deleted User]

Those that fall in love quickly..often fall out of love even quicker. It sounds like lust to me. Ide be cautious, love isnt love until you get to know someone inside out... that takes years.

penelopedee_2

DH told his dad he was marrying me on our second date (in which his dad appeared in the pub :cool:). I just gave him the evils.

But actually, we met properly in December (apparently we'd worked for the same company for years but I'd never seen him) then we moved in a flat together in February and married in the following March.

That was over 17 years ago and I don't regret a minute of it. Both on relationship rebounds - I'd just left the 'love of my life' so called 2 months beforehand. Yet it worked. Supposed we were just meant to be.

If you feel hurried, dig your heals in. Life is about compromise and has to work for the both of you. If he really does love you he will completely understand.

krlyr

OH and I moved in together after 4 months..and to be honest, we were practically living together way before that, just without making it official! We're still very happy together, 4 years down the line, so not a passing fling for either of us.

A friend of mine started seeing a bloke at nearly the exact same time as me, I think it was on their second or third date that he said the L word! She was a bit unsure at the time, thinking it all a bit too soon, but they've just got married this year so he must have won her around!

However, my mum met my stepdad and was very unsure if she was ready for a serious relationship/if he was the one/etc. so wanted to go very slow. He was very keen and very quick to show his feelings though. I think she "dumped" him about 6 or 7 times initially, 4 of those in the same week, even ran out on him during a date! Yet he gave her the time to come around to the idea and they've been married, I think 8 years this summer.

If he truly does love you (or even if he just has strong feelings for you that will turn to love - however you quantify it - in time), he'll understand you wanting to go at your pace.

Kynthia

My husband told me he loved me after only a few dates and it freaked me out a little. He also did a couple of other things that made me think he was progressing faster than me. However I think it was just him feeling relaxed from a few drinks and really really happy to be with me and loved up. Our relationship actually slowed down due to not living that near each other and his fear of weddings (not marriage though), but it gave us a really solid foundation and after 8 years together (married 18 months) we couldn't be happier.

FBaby

tinkerbell73 wrote: »

did I date your friend -

My friend only made it to the moving together once and that only lasted a couple of months before things went wrong. His trend is that he meets someone on the internet and gets all excited. He goes on a date and is totally smitten, will tell all his friends about her, how she is different from the others and this time, that they have so much in common and he thinks it is very promising. What he does is first check that she doesn't suffer from all the afflictions that led to him falling out of love with the others and that makes her Ms Perfect. He'll whizz her away, introduce her to his friends, meet her friends etc..., start talking about the future, and then suddenly, he'll wake up one morning and decide that there is one thing that is a problem. It might her age, her job, her friend, whatever and the moment he has this in his head, that will be it. The 'problem' will overshadow everything and he will have to end it. Of course, they never have a cue what has suddenly gone wrong and he'll use the stereotype that it's not them but him (which indeed is the case!).

BugglyB

I dont necessarily think its a big problem if he is telling you he loves you after two weeks.

Whats telling would be his reaction to you not saying it. Does he say 'dont you love me too?' or is he happy with you being more reticent until it suits you?

I too would agree with your assessment of 'easy come easy go'.

Tomby1

Some people just get a little carried away with their emotions. Relationships should only go as fast as both participants feel comfortable with - if you aren't ready to tell him you love him back then that is no issue.

I think my girlfriend told me after 3 months, I after 6 months, then we moved in together and have now been together for 3 years. She is currently tending to me after having surgery, sleeping in a separate room on a single chair-bed and hasn't complained once - that's when you know you've found the right person

ostrichnomore_2

Thanks all, so many different opinions and timescales.

He does know it's too quick for me so has backed off a bit, and was ok with that. I think he's just a more 'wears his heart on his sleeve' type, and stuff just falls out of his mouth without him really thinking about it, and he'd had a few drinks. So maybe he didn't mean 'love' in quite the same way that I would mean it.

Well anyway, feeling a bit reassured he's not necessarily a nutter.

Just all seems odd to me, I can't even imagine developing any real feelings that quickly. It always takes me a few months. I like him, that's it. If I never saw him again I'd be a bit regretful about what might have been, but not upset at all.

marisco_2

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Well anyway, feeling a bit reassured he's not necessarily a nutter.

Lets hope he's not I am sure you are a good judge of character.

Enjoy getting to know him at your own pace and enjoy each stage as it comes