How long before you get serious?

bride2be2012

In the beginning of our relationship, DH was the speedy one, I wasn't at all. We met through mutual friends but lived two hours apart. For about two weeks after we met, we texted a lot and he said he missed me, which kinda freaked me out as we'd only met once!! Anyway, we met up a few times for the day, and every time he asked me out and to make things official and I'd say no, mainly coz I'd done long distance relationships before and they ended badly. He didn't give up though, and I eventually said yes after about 2 months -he later told me this was the last time he was going to ask, so just as well I said yes!!

about 3 months long distance, we realised we both wanted more, so he started looking for work nearer me-but due to the credit crunch, this took 2 years! In this time we got engaged. In total, we've been together 5 years, been married 11 months now, and expecting our first baby in Sept.

I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to your question, it really does depend on the individuals involved.

tinkerbell73

FBaby wrote: »

I think you are doing the right thing being cautious. OH has a lovely friend who I adore and is totally sincere in his emotions...but seems to fall in love over and over again...showing it in the most loving ways...talking about them as if that is 'the one', how everything is perfect etc... to announce suddenly that they are not right and he needs to end it, which every time stresses him as he genuinely hates breaking hears. Of course, by the time he does, they have been taken in my all the attention and love he shared. They have been a few over the years. I always want to warn the new one, but of course I can't.

So yes, you are right to take it slowly. You don't know this guy, his history and past behaviour.

did I date your friend - I met my last bf and it was love at first sight for us both with in 6 months we moved in together - he pushed and I wasn't sure but I felt soo loved and secure I went with it - after 19 months he walked out even though he admits it was the best time if his life - the life wasn't for him mainly because he realised he hadn't grieved for his broken marriage and I was his rebound :-( I was heart broken so were my kids so I am on the take it slowly side - but nothing wrong with a little try before you buy ;-)

Grumpygit

OH moved in one day short of 3 months after we first started chatting.....nothing major with that, however, we had only met in the flesh twice between starting to chat online and him moving over.

We spoke lots on the net and phone so knew each other mentally before physically.

we've been together now 12 years and ok, had ups and downs but we are better now than ever.

My parents met in late Feb, married in mid June (mum was expecting) and they have now been married 44 years - they didn't properly live together for the first few years as my dad was in the forces.

You can know after a very short time, but only you know if it's right for you

katiejones

Had a blind date on the Saturday, he moved in on the Sunday. Been together 12 years and married for 6 xx

marisco_2

katiejones wrote: »

Had a blind date on the Saturday, he moved in on the Sunday. Been together 12 years and married for 6 xx

Wow. I could never move as fast as that but I am glad it all worked out so well for you both

claire16c

We met on a friday, he met my parents the next day.I think we said the L word at around 3 weeks - he said it first. Then after 4 weeks we broke up :rotfl: then got back together 2 weeks later. Moved in together 5 years later. In those five years we were apart or living at my parents together as I was on a gap year & then uni & he Was in the forces & then left. Then after a total of 8.5 years got married! So it started very fast but we didn't leap into marriage as we met when we were only 19.

System

I think i'd fallen for my bf within the first week But i didn't tell him until 5 months..by which point i couldn't hold back anymore, and thankfully he felt the same.

I'd say if it's freaking you out-it's too soon. So hopefully he'll take the hit and slow things down.

vodkachick68

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and i'm the speedy one in the relationship. We really love each other loads and are compatible in alot of aspects. I came out of my marriage at the same time we met and i know he is the one for me. I never felt the way about my ex-husband as i do for him. He has been separated from his ex-wife for over 3 years. He admits that he is cautious about rushing things and want us to get to know each other before we make any firm commitments. I still haven't met his kids yet which alot of people would think weird but i can now see why he wants to wait. We just enjoy each others company and things will develop at a steady pace. As my other half says we are on a journey and we will eventually get to the destination! Just enjoy each others company and take it slowly:D Good luck!!

make_me_wise

ostrichnomore wrote: »

We've only been dating two weeks.

he's getting quite soppy, and - gulp - he told me he loves me. Which is what is really freaking me out. How can you really love someone you hardly know? It's just infatuation.

:shocked:

Oh my, I have heard of moving things fast but that is mad. It has taken me longer to fall in love with a new car, and to want it enough to take it for a test drive too!

Fruitcake

Like others have said, everyone's situation is different and there is no right or wrong answer. It's really whatever you both agree on that is important. Talking to him about your feelings was the right thing to do and hopefully he will slow down to your pace if he truly understands.

My own experience was a long and slow process. Although I knew Miss Fruitcake fancied me, it was several years before I realised I had feelings for her as well. I then had to wait as she was underage and I didn't actually tell her how I felt until she was seventeen, and only then because she asked me if I wanted to start going out with her.

She didn't move in with me until we got married, and that was the first time we had *ahem* a test drive as well. I'm just old fashioned when it comes to love, but it was worth the wait as it will be our thirtieth wedding anniversary this year.