How long before you get serious?

ostrichnomore_2

Wow, lots of Speedy Gonzaleses on here then (as far as I think!) but nice to hear it isn't always bad.

We've only been dating two weeks.

Is he trying to make long term plans that will be difficult to undo? No
Is he trying to monopolise all your free time? No
Is he trying to share finances? No

He seems very nice, I like him, I enjoy his company, we fancy each other (and we've had a couple of, ahem, test drives, and that's all fine), we click in lots of ways. Have seen quite a lot of each other: been out a couple of evenings, stayed in a couple of evenings, met for lunch a couple of times, spent most of Sunday together this weekend. But for me it's still getting to know you time and I'm not emotionally involved yet. Have told a couple of people I've met someone without going into huge detail. Not introduced him to anyone yet. Would ideally spend a couple of months in this stage, to feel comfortable.

Him: told all his friends and family about me pretty much from day one, I've met some of his friends, he's getting quite soppy, and - gulp - he told me he loves me. Which is what is really freaking me out. How can you really love someone you hardly know? It's just infatuation. We've only seen each other at our best really, you need to know the whole person first, no? He knows he's rushing me, but can't seem to stop himself.

HeadAboveWater

You'll know yourself what you're ready for. Just don't rush yourself because he wants to rush. Only rush if you want to! If that makes sense...

System

When you truly cant bear to be parted from eachother.:)

fashionlover10

Me and my OH were just seeing each other for about a month before we made it 'official'.
4 months after that we were beginning to talk about moving in together.
1 month later we moved into our first house together.
7 months on from then and we've just moved again and will be celebrating 1 year of being together on Sunday.

Joons

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Wow, lots of Speedy Gonzaleses on here then (as far as I think!) but nice to hear it isn't always bad.

We've only been dating two weeks.

Is he trying to make long term plans that will be difficult to undo? No
Is he trying to monopolise all your free time? No
Is he trying to share finances? No

He seems very nice, I like him, I enjoy his company, we fancy each other (and we've had a couple of, ahem, test drives, and that's all fine), we click in lots of ways. Have seen quite a lot of each other: been out a couple of evenings, stayed in a couple of evenings, met for lunch a couple of times, spent most of Sunday together this weekend. But for me it's still getting to know you time and I'm not emotionally involved yet. Have told a couple of people I've met someone without going into huge detail. Not introduced him to anyone yet. Would ideally spend a couple of months in this stage, to feel comfortable.

Him: told all his friends and family about me pretty much from day one, I've met some of his friends, he's getting quite soppy, and - gulp - he told me he loves me. Which is what is really freaking me out. How can you really love someone you hardly know? It's just infatuation. We've only seen each other at our best really, you need to know the whole person first, no? He knows he's rushing me, but can't seem to stop himself.

2 weeks and he's already declared love - I'd be like you, I'd find that a bit off putting tbh, I don't see how you can love someone after 2 weeks but then I'm quite cynical by nature so maybe that's why.

And yes at two weeks you are only seeing each other at your best. The true test of a long term relationship is actually surviving lots of bad bits and still staying together - years later.

Maybe he's genuine, I don't know but you sound a bit more level headed and less emotional so let him wait, he will if he really loves you.

Bangton

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Wow, lots of Speedy Gonzaleses on here then (as far as I think!) but nice to hear it isn't always bad.

We've only been dating two weeks.

Is he trying to make long term plans that will be difficult to undo? No
Is he trying to monopolise all your free time? No
Is he trying to share finances? No

He seems very nice, I like him, I enjoy his company, we fancy each other (and we've had a couple of, ahem, test drives, and that's all fine), we click in lots of ways. Have seen quite a lot of each other: been out a couple of evenings, stayed in a couple of evenings, met for lunch a couple of times, spent most of Sunday together this weekend. But for me it's still getting to know you time and I'm not emotionally involved yet. Have told a couple of people I've met someone without going into huge detail. Not introduced him to anyone yet. Would ideally spend a couple of months in this stage, to feel comfortable.

Him: told all his friends and family about me pretty much from day one, I've met some of his friends, he's getting quite soppy, and - gulp - he told me he loves me. Which is what is really freaking me out. How can you really love someone you hardly know? It's just infatuation. We've only seen each other at our best really, you need to know the whole person first, no? He knows he's rushing me, but can't seem to stop himself.

I'm like you caution wise. I knew with my partner now that I loved him after a short time. .. not sure how long but 3 Weeks tops however I didn't want to say it. ... or feel it in fact as it felt too soon. It was 18 months before we committed to moving in together although we have now been together 12 years so I guess it wouldn't have mattered of we did move quickly. I don't know. ..if a bloke rushed it with me id freak out and dare I say it. .. wonder if he was bit desperate:o

valk_scot

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Wow, lots of Speedy Gonzaleses on here then (as far as I think!) but nice to hear it isn't always bad.

We've only been dating two weeks.

Is he trying to make long term plans that will be difficult to undo? No
Is he trying to monopolise all your free time? No
Is he trying to share finances? No

He seems very nice, I like him, I enjoy his company, we fancy each other (and we've had a couple of, ahem, test drives, and that's all fine), we click in lots of ways. Have seen quite a lot of each other: been out a couple of evenings, stayed in a couple of evenings, met for lunch a couple of times, spent most of Sunday together this weekend. But for me it's still getting to know you time and I'm not emotionally involved yet. Have told a couple of people I've met someone without going into huge detail. Not introduced him to anyone yet. Would ideally spend a couple of months in this stage, to feel comfortable.

Him: told all his friends and family about me pretty much from day one, I've met some of his friends, he's getting quite soppy, and - gulp - he told me he loves me. Which is what is really freaking me out. How can you really love someone you hardly know? It's just infatuation. We've only seen each other at our best really, you need to know the whole person first, no? He knows he's rushing me, but can't seem to stop himself.

If by "a couple of test drives" you mean you've had sex then I would say that is fairly speedy going from both of you if you've only been going out for two weeks. Or is that me being old fashioned?

I have to say though that if you're not that sure about telling your friends about him and you're not emotionally involved you possibly are going a bit fast when it comes to the bedroom bit. I can empathise more from his side tbh, he's taken you to meet friends and is getting soppy and affectionate. Maybe that's what's making you uncomfortable?

ostrichnomore_2

'wonder if he was bit desperate'

Yeah, call me cynical but can't help thinking it's more about him than me...he's sweet but he def. has his issues. Me too, to be fair, but I think that makes it more important to not rush in.

Ah well, we'll see. He did say sorry for the l word and that he shouldn't have said it (and he'd had a few beers at the time), so fingers crossed it'll sink in and he'll calm down a bit. Otherwise he's going to scare me off, and I do think that would be a shame. But I can't just fling myself madly at someone. I just want to enjoy each stage for what it is without rushing on to the next one and the next one...I'm not planning on dying just yet so what's the rush, lol.

Tropez

In our case, we didn't really think much about it. We met and started going out together but even I thought we were just new friends who had come together due to mutual interests. It wasn't until a month or so after we met that I was rather clearly told that we were dating.

After that, we just continued spending time together and things just fell into place. She started spending more time at mine, started leaving things at mine and it eventually got to the point where she would come here after work rather than go back to her own place. It was about then that we discussed whether she wanted to move in, although at this point she pretty much had.

I think though the first real indication that we were in a serious relationship was when I had to work abroad for a while. We stayed in touch and spoke almost every day and made plans for things to do when my time abroad was over. I think had our relationship not been a serious one then it might have ended then, due to distance, but it didn't.

And the same has happened again, she's been away for a year, save for a few weeks around xmas and New Year. We've continued to talk almost everyday and make plans for when she returns.

So I think in our case, there was no big discussion about being serious or "going steady" or any of that... it just happened that way.

Errata

We've only been dating two weeks

Two weeks :eek: I've been on longer holidays! If somone told me they were in love with me after only two weeks I'd think they'd lost their mind, and I'd be running for the hills and absolutely not 'test driving' them on such a short acquaintance.