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FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

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  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    edited 12 May 2013 at 1:47AM
    marisco wrote: »
    Tay, it sounds as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders now that you have told your mum. The tone of your posts has you coming across as a young woman who has everything to look forward to in life, rather than someone down trodden and scared of her own shadow.

    The difference in you in such a very short period of time is immense. I hope you enjoy spending some time with your mum. She sounds really lovely. Your sister will be just as supportive I am sure.

    Yes, the difference in me is astonishing. A month ago, I was in despair. Now I feel as if my life has started over, anything is possible! I can see signs of the old me coming back. I'm no longer tied to my miserable ex, I'm free!!!!! :D

    Alpha58 wrote: »
    Couldn't agree more. A true butterfly story - and I think I speak collectively for your many supporters on here by saying that although I don't know you, I am immensely proud of how you have managed the whole episode. It has been handled with courage, dignity and grace - you are an inspiration. I hope that some of the ladies reading this who are in an unpleasant situation will take heart from the knowledge that unhappy marriages don't have to be endured. Well done you!

    Thank you so much. I feel humbled that you're supporting me. I know that this thread has had a lot of views, and I really hope that you're right and it has inspired others to look at their own lives and not settle for second best. I've had such amazing advice and support from you all, and if it helps anyone else then that's a huge bonus.

    :T Well said!

    So pleased you've finally been able to tell to your mum, Tayforth, and had such a supportive reaction from her. You must feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders, .
    Now you can relax and enjoy the next few days.

    I shall definitely relax, I feel better already :) xxx
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    Yes, then expect the pleading.

    Then expect me to ignore the pleading. :rotfl:

    ceebeeby wrote: »
    That is the best post I've read today. I'm so glad it all worked out better than expected!!

    I look forward to reading something similar from you hon xx

    Oh Tay xx. You and your mum xx Mums are wise. Have lots of hugs with her, I feel like crying I feel so happy for you.

    Thanks so much duckeggblue - you'll set me off again if you're not careful :) xxxx
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    rockie4 wrote: »
    Brilliant news Tay :T So please for you :) i knew she'd understand ;) xx
    I've had a brilliant day as well, won £60 last night on bingo so went to Liverpool today (he's gone camping :rotfl:) and bought 3 tops and a pair of summer pants.... all for free from my winnings :T Things are looking up!

    Yay, well done you! I'm thrilled for you. Things are definitely looking up xxx

    Yay! So pleased it all went well for you. Mums always want the best for their girls! xx

    I know, you were all totally right, I admit it :) xxx
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,757 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    i am surprise tay that your ex hasnt been in touch very strange has he not even tried to text or anything has he just done a bunk (strange he never got in touch either about the car) as he knew you wanted it for the wedding. Good thing he has left you alone though buy very strange.

    Why is it that strange?
  • Richard53
    Richard53 Posts: 3,173 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    tayforth wrote: »
    Yes, the difference in me is astonishing. A month ago, I was in despair. Now I feel as if my life has started over, anything is possible! I can see signs of the old me coming back. I'm no longer tied to my miserable ex, I'm free!!!!! :D

    I can really relate to this comment. I was in an unhappy marriage for many years and got a job at the other end of the country. I moved down there, alone, into temporary accommodation while we put the house on the market. After a while of frankly dreadful living conditions and a lot of new-job stress, I suddenly realised that I was changing into someone I recognised from a long time ago - the old me. I was relaxed and happy, and (hate the phrase) comfortable in my skin again. The main thing was that I was no longer looking over my shoulder and wondering what I was going to bring down on my head by saying the wrong word or making the wrong decision, and I realised that in fact I was a lot more capable and competent than I had been led to believe. That was when I became certain that the marriage had to end.

    Sometimes, you just know.
    If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.
  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    Richard53 wrote: »
    I can really relate to this comment. I was in an unhappy marriage for many years and got a job at the other end of the country. I moved down there, alone, into temporary accommodation while we put the house on the market. After a while of frankly dreadful living conditions and a lot of new-job stress, I suddenly realised that I was changing into someone I recognised from a long time ago - the old me. I was relaxed and happy, and (hate the phrase) comfortable in my skin again. The main thing was that I was no longer looking over my shoulder and wondering what I was going to bring down on my head by saying the wrong word or making the wrong decision, and I realised that in fact I was a lot more capable and competent than I had been led to believe. That was when I became certain that the marriage had to end.

    Sometimes, you just know.

    Yes, nothing like a bit of perspective. I'm glad that you made the right decision for you and I hope that your life is better and happier than it was before.
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    Next challenge!!

    Mum pointed out last night that I have no will. So if anything happens to me before we're divorced, the ex gets all my savings! :eek: So I have to make a will ASAP. How can I do it in as MSE a way as possible?


    I have no property, only savings and 'personal effects', all of which will be divided equally between my mum and sister. No life assurance policy either - my job provides that, and my sister is my nominee.


    Should be simple enough, I think.


    Any advice would be appreciated xx
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • scaredy_cat
    scaredy_cat Posts: 7,758 Forumite
    Cats don't have owners - they have staff!! :D:p
    DFW Long Hauler Supporter No 150


  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite

    Thanks very much, I've read through and it seems straightforward enough. Hopefully not too expensive either. I'm going to get onto it as soon as possible xx
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
  • tayforth
    tayforth Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    I'm very tempted by the DIY will route, as my finances and wishes are not complicated. I will be leaving everything to immediate family, there's no property to be sold (obviously if that changes, I'll change my will and use a solicitor if necessary).Has anyone else done this?

    I might speak to my solicitor friend for advice. She's not in family law, but she might be able to steer me in the right direction. I want to be MSE, but at the same time I want it to be done properly!
    Life is a gift... and I intend to make the most of mine :A

    Never regret something that once made you smile :A
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