Please help-partners Christian faith feels like the last straw.

suki1001

balletshoes wrote: »

i'm sure people do stay in relationships for financial reasons - but surely in this case thats a dangerous thing to be doing?

I meant in cases of financial abuse. It is absolutely the best thing to leave, but I think just qualifying what the abuser is saying isn't helpful, even if it meant meant in a different way.

happy35

just get out of there, he sounds like a nutter. This is too extreme to be normal and is not somewhere that either you or a child should be living.

If nothing else please contact CAB to discuss housing options, find out where any local refuges are that could accept your family ( depending on the age of the teenages some wont accept teenage boys), try and put a bit of money aside and keep some bags packed in case you do need to do an emergency flit. But I do think you need to be making some plans to leave even if you dont want to do it immediately, you will manage financially because you have to you will adjust to what you have. I dont want to sound patronising and hope that I dont but from what you have written but I am really concerned for your wellbeing and safety

LannieDuck

If you're ready to leave, OP, speak to some women's aid charities. You can also post on here to work out how you'll be able to survive financially. You'll probably be entitled to various credits etc.

Do you/he own the house, or is it rented?

pigpen

I managed 3 paragraphs of the first post... He is not a Christian.. a Christian accepts others for who they are and does not beat them into servitude with actions or words. They are family focussed and love each other. They do not alienate their loved ones or berate them about their faith.

I was married to a 'christian' .. nothing as fanatical as your situation and he accepted that while he chose to attend church and had his beliefs others were entitled to theirs and while we discussed faith and everything else it was not forced on me nor did it take over his life.. as shown when he committed adultery lol.. (hence the ' ' around the Christian)

Run.. run for the hills, take your daughter with you before this gets any worse. It is all downhill once they start walking this path sadly.

margaretclare

securityguy wrote: »

"The version you printed is not KJV therfore is corrupt."

I didn't realise the "King James Only" movement had reached the UK. They're absolute nutters.

You won't convince him no matter what you say, but the fact is: the King James' (Authorised) Version is only one translation. It was published in the times when the religion, or form of religion everyone followed, was dictated from above. The monarch thought of himself/herself as 'divinely appointed' - the Divine Right of Kings it was called. That version was the only one for the next 3 centuries, but there had been earlier translations as there are later ones. The quotation from St Paul's letter to the Corinthians (i.e. the church in Corinth) which is frequently read as part of a marriage service, was translated differently by e.g. William Tyndale in the early Tudor years and he (I've read) translated it as 'love' not 'charity'. You'd have to go back to the original Greek in which Paul wrote to the Corinthians, to get it right.

The King James Version provided the background to much of our literature for all those centuries and one big reason for that is that it was the only book that many people ever read, certainly working-class people. Many poorer people learned to read specifically so that they could read the Bible and see what it said for themselves, rather than being told. Some of the early political agitators, the Chartists, early trade union leaders like Joseph Arch, the farm-workers' leader, used a lot of language and imagery from that version of the Bible because it was easily-recognisable by the people they were talking to. But it is NOT the only translation by any means.

securityguy

margaretclare wrote: »

William Tyndale in the early Tudor years and he (I've read) translated it as 'love' not 'charity'.

From Tyndale's Bible:

Tyndale_1_Corinthians_13:4 wrote:

Love suffereth long, and is courteous. Love envieth not. Love doth not frowardly, swelleth not, 5 dealeth not dishonestly, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh not evil 6 rejoiceth not in iniquity: but rejoiceth in the truth, 7 suffereth all things, believeth all things hopeth all things, endureth in all things.

The King James Only movement is described here. As it points out, "As the movement progressed from one generation to the next, it became more radicalized and extreme".

dandelionclock30

You need to get yourself and your child away from this lunatic and absolute nonsense. Can you ask a friend or a family member if you can go to their house for a bit and also see a solicitor about selling the house etc?.

margaretclare

securityguy wrote: »

From Tyndale's Bible:



The King James Only movement is described here. As it points out, "As the movement progressed from one generation to the next, it became more radicalized and extreme".

Thanks for this. I'd never heard of it before. There are extremists in all religions. You learn something new every day!

topsyturvy74

Thanks again for other replies since my last post. I've been popping back in and reading them but not had much privacy to reply properly but will at some point later. I'm trying to do the SOA thing as well but things are complicated going by just my current personal earnings/income to afford the bills as if he were to leave I'd have to give up my evening job which would in turn affect the tax credits. On top of this my eldest daughter is due to leave college soon which is going to affect child tax credits/child benefit.

I do have time quickly to say that we live in a council house primarily in my name as that was how things stood before I met him but he pays the rent. Because of that, the kids and the fact he's hardly contributed to any household goods in eleven years whether it be furniture or appliances other than his personal own there is no way I feel I should leave/give all that up. Besides which he'd be happy enough to get away from here what with some of the household bills he's constantly moaning about or at times refusing to pay.

As for his precious KJV Bible..oh gosh don't get me started on that....

Back later.

skylight

1. Speak to the council Monday morning about your tenancy and how it would affect you/him if/when you kick him out. If the tenancy is in your name, he can leave.

2. Try http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ as a good calculator to see how your benefits would be affected whether you give up your job or not. Play around with it in different scenarios. As a single Mum, working 16hrs or more will leave you better off and you'll get help with childcare costs (although finding an evening childminder will be the tricky bit but they do exist.)


And PS. He is not a Christian. I echo what everyone else says. A true Christian does not belittle others and certainly not those closest to them. If he is like this with you now, he will be like this with your DD as she grows. You may be happy to put up with it but your DD doesn't get that choice; that's not fair.

And PPS. Big hugs.