Only inviting friends with children to a gathering/party for your child's birthday?

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

the old days of having a birthday party at home with a few friends has gone by.

I don't think it has, I've been to a lot of those, I was at one last week!

meritaten

you must live in a different area - it definitely isn't done here!

barbiedoll

Person_one wrote: »

Mind you, we did organise a 'children's party' themed 30th for one of my friends, with pass the parcel and triangular sandwiches and paper hats and had a grand time, so maybe, actually, we are just an odd group! :rotfl:

I had a (what else) Barbie themed surprise party sprung on me when I was in my 30's. We adults had a whale of a time with our silly hats, party poppers and balloons, I had a lovely pink "Barbie" fright wig and we ate pink cake and ice-cream. The kids (all boys) were not too impressed though, and they refused to be in any of the photos. My son still cringes with the horror of it all! :rotfl:

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

you must live in a different area - it definitely isn't done here!

I think things like that are more to do with particular social circles or families rather than geography. There are probably people living here who've never been to a kids party at home and never will, but that doesn't mean they don't happen or aren't still pretty common.

koalamummy

We live in an area that has a huge mix of backgrounds, incomes, and family circumstances. None of my children have ever received an invite to attend a party in anybody's home ever. It is just not done here. Most probably because it is not the done thing to exclude any child from a class group, if one is invited they are all invited. Most homes simply aren't large enough to accommodate 30+ children plus at least one parent.

OP please talk to your friends about how you are feeling. It can be equally hard for them as friends of somebody trying for children to know what to do do in this situation. Sometimes their judgement can be coloured by previous experience of others in this situation.

I had a friend who I used to invite to all events because I thought that it would be wrong to not include her. I received hurtful comments about my lack of sensitivity. I eventually stopped including her so then I was excluding her to hurt her and remind her of her lack of children. If I was in a similar situation in the future I have no idea what I would do. I would hope to be able to talk to the person about it without any upset but at the same time I would be really apprehensive about bringing it up in the first place and would probably take the cowards way out and wait for the person to start the conversation.

BritAbroad

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm not coming if you've invited my cat. I hate him.

:rotfl: Does the cat know? Is he traumatised if he gets excluded?

Back to the OP, this is a tricky one. We had to attend a first birthday party not so long ago. I must admit, my heart sank when we got the invitation as I knew we had to go (though, bizarrely, I'd probably have been slightly annoyed if we hadn't been invited, because of the peculiarities of circumstance of this particular set of friends). So we showed up, made the right noises, and chatted to the adults. Next year, however, we'll have a prior engagement, as it's not necessary to invite all (or attend) for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th birthday, etc etc.

DevilsAdvocate1

view wrote: »

because the below is so much fun! :j plus we love kids, my husband works with kids and also loves it.. we especially love our friend's kids.
"Whenever our group of friends' kids have birthdays, everyone's invited - whether they have kids or not. The kids are in the back garden on the trampoline, hired bouncy castle, whatever; the mums and olds are in the house chatting; and the dads and older kids are outside supervising the little ones. Kids' birthday parties are the best!"

we have been invited to some kids parties and some not (depending on the friend) I'm not taking it personally, I just found it a 'little' hurtful but not hugely cry for hours woe is me sort of thing... it's just an oddity I guess when you're so involved othewise...

When my children were small, I didn't even invite the grandparents to their birthday parties.

Well, I tell a lie, I did once. It was such a hassle. They offered to come to help. Instead, dad moaned because I didn't have any milk so I ended up having to go and get some (I had only brought juice for the children). Both mum and dad were constantly asking me questions, making it really hard to do party games with the children. When doing the food, they stood chatting and generally getting under my feet.

But the best bit was when mum cut ALL the icing off the cake before cutting it up to put into the party bags, as she felt the birthday boy should have it all :rotfl::rotfl:

I felt like I was babysitting mum and dad. It was the most stressful party ever. And how embarasing when people asked me where the icing was when I next saw them :mad:

Children's birthday parties are not fun.

pigpen

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm not coming if you've invited my cat. I hate him.

Hell no.. they walk on the tables and lick the food and he will only end up arguing with my 6.

Actually, I might invite the cat and leave you out favouritism and everything!!!

I don't care who turns up to celebrate my next birthday I won't be there.

view

my best pal, who has emigrated to another country (sob!) always invited us to her kid's parties... (and again I stress, not a children's party, a gathering wiht adults and children to celebrate their birhtday sort of thing!)

I loved them, I liked seeing the kiddies we loved be happy and smile and run around wtih a sugar rush. Loved the hugs and smiles and oh my goss Auntie View I LOVE your xxx insert gift here xx.

Loved chatting to other friends, mums, dads etc... they were all friends and people bfore they were parents so although their lives have changed somewhat, they still looked for adult conversation and to have a giggle about things...

I have been to quite a few here too, from other friends and have loved every other one too. We just like being around kids, especially ones that we've seen grow up.

Just to stress again... this is not a children's party where it is themed or at a play park or McDonalds etc... more of a gathering in someone's back yard with all manner of ages and sexes, cupcakes and wine! :T