Domestic abuse

puddy

http://www.respectphoneline.org.uk/pages/help-for-domestic-violence-perpetrators.html

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Sleep on the streets.

The least you can do is leave her - so she's safe from you. I would suggest that you never, ever contact her again for the rest of your life as well.


Other than that, report yourself to the police.

And don't bother with the overdose threats. It's all been heard before - it's typical 'look at poor ickle me, I wanna die' to force the partner to feel sorry for them. Hearing it is so commonplace, it's boring.

bookemdano

puddy wrote: »

http://www.respectphoneline.org.uk/pages/help-for-domestic-violence-perpetrators.html

Thank you. As much as this is all my fault, it doesn't stop the hurt I'm also feeling.

**professor~yaffle**

Can the girlfriend go to WomensAid for help? They might be able to help her to get re-housed (if she wants that)

puddy

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Sleep on the streets.

The least you can do is leave her - so she's safe from you. I would suggest that you never, ever contact her again for the rest of your life as well.


Other than that, report yourself to the police.

And don't bother with the overdose threats. It's all been heard before - it's typical 'look at poor ickle me, I wanna die' to force the partner to feel sorry for them. Hearing it is so commonplace, it's boring.

It does border on this although I like to give the benefit of the doubt until I know otherwise

verysillyguy06

puddy wrote: »

It does border on this although I like to give the benefit of the doubt until I know otherwise

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Sleep on the streets.

The least you can do is leave her - so she's safe from you. I would suggest that you never, ever contact her again for the rest of your life as well.


Other than that, report yourself to the police.

And don't bother with the overdose threats. It's all been heard before - it's typical 'look at poor ickle me, I wanna die' to force the partner to feel sorry for them. Hearing it is so commonplace, it's boring.

Op, here is one: To show that you really care and are ready to do what it takes:

Can you not call her parents? Often victims are ashamed and why should she suffer even more?

And ask her to read this thread?

What does she really want? The one thing she asked you to do, you are not doing....leaving! What else can you do for her?

bookemdano

puddy wrote: »

It does border on this although I like to give the benefit of the doubt until I know otherwise

I know it sounds like that but the way I feel at the moment is that if I did kill myself then I have done everyone a favour.
I don't feel like I can live with myself knowing what I have done.
I knew I wouldn't get sympathy and don't expect or need it but the harsh comment's really hit home but I need to hear it.

nickyhutch

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Sleep on the streets.

The least you can do is leave her - so she's safe from you. I would suggest that you never, ever contact her again for the rest of your life as well.


Other than that, report yourself to the police.

And don't bother with the overdose threats. It's all been heard before - it's typical 'look at poor ickle me, I wanna die' to force the partner to feel sorry for them. Hearing it is so commonplace, it's boring.

Unnecessarily harsh.

bookemdano

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

Op, here is one: To show that you really care and are ready to do what it takes:

Can you not call her parents? Often victims are ashamed and why she should suffer even more?

And ask her to read this thread?

What does she really want? The one thing she asked you to do, you are not doing....leaving! What else can you do for her?

I have spoken to her parents infront of my girlfriend and apologised for my behaviour. My girlfriend asked me not to divulge the full extent of the situation as her father is in poor health.

puddy

bookemdano wrote: »

I know it sounds like that but the way I feel at the moment is that if I did kill myself then I have done everyone a favour.
I don't feel like I can live with myself knowing what I have done.
I knew I wouldn't get sympathy and don't expect or need it but the harsh comment's really hit home but I need to hear it.

hmm, but acting the guilty party is not what is needed here, you actually need to take positive and actual steps to demonstrate that you are making changes, you want to learn about why you behave like this. Jojo is correct, you risk going on and one about how badly you've behaved, how you deserve all the harsh comments, how you've done wrong but without any practical and real change in behaviour, just the words. You then get into a mindset of 'oh this is what happened and its really bad and I feel terrible Ive hurt her' but not making any actual change.

The first step is ensuring her safety by removing yourself until you know that you wont act this way again and removing yourself so that she is not fearful of this happening again until there is trust from her and change from you