Domestic abuse

ifstar

You should move out and be thankful that she hasn't went to the police, otherwise you would have been in a cell overnight and would have bail conditions not to approach or contact her.

Pushing and shoving before is classed as assault too, and she is terrified of you. It's all very well saying you wouldn't do it again but every abuser says that afterwards. Your behaviour has escalated from pushing and shoving to grabbing her to the neck and hitting her in the face.

You need to move on and sort yourself first before considering being in a relationship with anyone.

bookemdano

SailorSam wrote: »

I was just looking at your previous posts, is this still the same girlfriend from April 2011 has this been going on that long or did you have similar problems with others.

No this is a another relationship of 2 yrs.

Poppy9

If she has any sense she will never take you back. Sorry if it sounds harsh but she will always be waiting for you to lash out again. As you said yourself you have pushed her a couple of times before.

If you truely loved her you would go.

Out of interest whose house is it. Did you buy it jointly? If you rent then at the end of the current tenancy you just don't renew.

bookemdano

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned that's just not good enough.
That says to me "I don't actually care enough to accept that doing this horrendous thing means I might have to make some hard choices to put things right".

I apologise if this is a bit harsh, but it sounds like you're happy to make excuses for yourself and that makes me pessimistic about your chances of really changing. Your doctor can't wave a magic wand - you would have to do the work, and I don't get the impression that you're ready to face up to that (yet).

I hope that either you or your girlfriend has the sense to make the hard step and move out, or I fear that in 30 years you'll find yourselves this bitter old couple who hate each other and just wish they'd called it quits before they wasted their lives
.

I do agree with what your saying but I honestly do not have the money to move. If I did I would.
I didn't expect anything less than harsh, I'm certainly not proud of myself. I appreciate your advice

bookemdano

Poppy9 wrote: »

If she has any sense she will never take you back. Sorry if it sounds harsh but she will always be waiting for you to lash out again. As you said yourself you have pushed her a couple of times before.

If you truely loved her you would go.

Out of interest whose house is it. Did you buy it jointly? If you rent then at the end of the current tenancy you just don't renew.

We rent it together.

bookemdano

michelle2008 wrote: »

You are a bully. You physically harmed your girlfriend and now you are intimidating her and refusing to leave your home. To be frank I don't care about your finances you need to man up, move out and let this poor woman rebuild her life.

I know I am, I'm ashamed and I didn't come on here for sympathy of any kind. I don't like myself very much at the moment.

VfM4meplse

OP, I'd advise deleting this thread after taking note of professor yaffle's advice as it's only ever going to be more of the same....

DKLS

bookemdano wrote: »

Sadly I don't have the finances to move out at the moment otherwise I would consider it.

Be a real man and move out, sleep in your car if you have to, crash at a mates, whatever it takes, get out of the house and most importantly delete her phone numbers and email addresses and or block/delete on face ache.

Then seek help and understanding as to why you cannot contain your anger, there is never an excuse for hitting a woman ever.

pink_princess

DKLS wrote: »

Be a real man and move out, sleep in your car if you have to, crash at a mates, whatever it takes, get out of the house and most importantly delete her phone numbers and email addresses and or block/delete on face ache.

Then seek help and understanding as to why you cannot contain your anger, there is never an excuse for hitting anyone ever.

Fixed for you

verysillyguy06

Without sounding at all as I would condole any part of your action there are a few important points:

Whatever we are going to say on here, it really only matters to yourself and your GF.

I am certainly not saying that she should take you back, if she would be my daughter you and me would have 'words'.....

But it really is the starting point: If she is too frightened to chuck you out, shame on you but if she wants to try again you both need to consider counselling together and separate as she is likely to be in a turmoil as well. She should report you too...sorry but are you really sure you got the message?

Anger management does not always work especially if you are still 'at home' I am not sure it is safe for you both but mainly not her if the programme creates higher emotion, how would you cope with it?


Sorry, but main sympathy is with the victim and takes a special humanist to be concerned about the aggressor....

Not sure if this helps....talk to your GP