Domestic abuse

ruby-roo_2

I feel the OP should think long and hard about moving out and giving his partner some much needed space.

liney

It seems to me that the OP is quietly confident that the lady will not move out back to her parents because she does not want to reveal the violence to her ill father.

Neither does he want to go to his friends/parents and admit what he has done to get a sofa.

If I was your girlfriend i'd be taking your pleas for needing help with a pinch of salt because you are not actually acting in my best interests whatever you claim to feel/need.

ipod_killed_the_musicshop

duckeggblue wrote: »

How dare I say what? I'm not sure what you think I said.

That I was sounding like an abuser.

Gavin83

You can afford somewhere to live. Maybe not to the same standard but certainly somewhere. It's best all round if neither of you live together anymore.

Can your girlfriend afford to rent the flat on her own? You may well both end up losing it if it's expensive.

duckeggblue

ipod_killed_the_musicshop wrote: »

That I was sounding like an abuser.

I didn't say that, I was pointing out some of the things you said also happened to be things abusers say but I was not drawing a comparison. I would not label someone that, on the basis of a few words online.

ipod_killed_the_musicshop

duckeggblue wrote: »

I didn't say that, I was pointing out some of the things you said also happened to be things abusers say but I was not drawing a comparison. I would not label someone that, on the basis of a few words online.

ok no worries. I may be a bit short of late, sorry if I have been.

megan01

First of all, well done for admitting it.

Secondly, go to the police and admit what you have done. Having restraint orders against yourself will enforce the need for you to stay away from her, so she can then live without fear.

Having no money to not move out is not an excuse. You need to get a stable job that has guaranteed income, not your own business so that you can move out. For now you need to crash wherever you can.

Admitting to your family and friends what you did is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Be honest with those closest to you.

rjhammond91

Well done for admitting what you've done is wrong but unfortunately that doesn't make it any better for your girlfriend. You need to move out to wherever you can so she can get over this.

My mum was in an abusive relationship with my dad when I was a toddler and unfortunately she was forced to move out and into a womens refuge with myself and my brother (both young toddlers at the time).

Don't let yourself let her do that. She's done no wrong in this situation and doesn't deserve to be scared in her own home, because you won't leave.

ipod_killed_the_musicshop

Beat me to it. If you (the OP) were running away from someone who had beat you, you wouldn't be asking yourself if you could afford it, so you don't deserve such a luxury!

*Vikki*

What you have done is very bad, you could have lost her forever. But I do feel sorry for you too. Everyone makes mistakes, and I do believe people can change. Seek counselling, I wish you both the best of luck.