Daughter leaving home......

barbarawright

helenthemum wrote: »

The drink had been in the fridge for 2 weeks, I put the shopping away on Thursday and don't remember seeing it only a half drunk one which I have seen her drinking from several times over the last week. So I am not 100% convinced he did take it, I have still told him off and he is going to replace it tomorrow. The headphones were left on the dinning room table not in her bedroom which is a no go area and everyone knows that. I always knock before entering any of the children's bedrooms, they are at an age where they need their own space respected.
.

So daughter is having a tantrum about something that may not have actually happened. Why not try treating them all as adults - the longer you keep telling them off (if I was your son and I hadn't taken the drink I'd be pretty furious but even if he has, it seems a ridiculous fuss about nothing from both you and DD) and placating them for throwing a wobbly about nothing, the longer they will continue to behave like 10 year olds.

helenthemum

Thank you all for your responses.

I have always tried to treat my children fairly and split my time between them, probably given them too much of my time as their father walked out just over a year ago, daughter says she hates him and wants nothing to do with him. Not going to go into that now.

Son was not allowed on the computer after I told him off and made him apologise to her.

I have been trying to get my daughter to put her things away, but she leaves them where they fall and then wonders why something gets chewed by the dog or someone moves something.

I know she would not survive in a shared house and no way would she be able to care for the dog he is a border collie as she wanted/wants to do agility with him.

She has just found out that there are no buses this evening to her boyfriends place so she will go tomorrow.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

helenthemum wrote: »

I know she would not survive in a shared house and no way would she be able to care for the dog he is a border collie as she wanted/wants to do agility with him.

Oh dear.

Have you prepared your daughter for adulthood at all?

looby75

when my daughter was 17 we had some humdinger arguments, it's a difficult age, they are almost but not quite adults and seem to think they know everything and are always right.

She's 20 now and just last night admitted that looking back she now realises she didn't and still doesn't know everything. TBH the best thing you can do, in my experience, is ride it out. Don't beg her to stay, don't tip toe around her, just carry on as normal and if she's anything like my daughter was at that age she'll come to her senses eventually......if you are really lucky you might even get a grunted apology out of her when she calms down

marisco_2

Whilst I could understand your daughter feeling a bit annoyed at her brother taking her drink and headphones, I feel her reaction is over the top and immature.

I am probably going against the grain a bit here but my advice is let her pack and go. She will soon discover whilst at her boyfriends parents house, that no-one gives you a free ride in life. They wont want her to be staying with them long term.

She will quickly realise that life will not be a bowl of cherries with no job, no money and other people not accepting her tantrums at things not going exactly how she would like. Give it a few days and she will no doubt realise how cushy she has it at home with yourself. If she wants to come back home make sure she apologises for todays carry on. She is a teenager being a teenager but that does not excuse her being so rude to a loving parent in my book.

valk_scot

helenthemum wrote: »

I have been trying to get my daughter to put her things away, but she leaves them where they fall and then wonders why something gets chewed by the dog or someone moves something.

Pick up fallen item(s), open her bedroom door, throw in item(s), close door. Sorted!

barbarawright

I wouldn't worry too much OP. The chances of her actually leaving are slim to none ...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

valk_scot wrote: »

Pick up fallen item(s), open her bedroom door, throw in item(s), close door. Sorted!

Pick up fallen item(s).

Open front door.

Open wheelie bin.

Throw item(s) in.

Close lid.

Close door.


Sorted.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Pick up fallen item(s).

Open front door.

Open wheelie bin.

Throw item(s) in.

Close lid.

Close door.


Sorted.

OMG - how could you do that to someone who is so ill and can't cope with irritations like the OP's daughter?

:rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Hi,

OP, do you think she might be pregnant, afraid to tell you and using this as an excuse to escape to the boyfriends?