Daughter leaving home......

Funky_Bold_Ribena

SuzieSue wrote: »

No, it will be a lot worse, but she has just had enough and this is the only course of action she has to show how she feels.

Really, if you want to defend her brother then fine, but I can't be bothered to argue with someone who thinks it is ok for someone to be irritating just because the rest of the world is irritating.

I'm not defending anyone. Sheesh. Why are you having a go at me?

I just read your last line. You clearly have issues that you need to work through.

notanewuser

Fire_Fox wrote: »

I left home at 17 after being politely invited to - I was a brat - one of the best things for me because I had to start paying my way, grew up and slowly came around to appreciating my mother particularly. I did return at 19 for a little while before relocating to be with my then boyfriend (now ex husband).

My dad is still my dad, my mum is still my mum and we have a fantastic relationship now, a later relocation was partly to live closer to them. Loving parents often carry on doing things for you for life, you never completely stop being their little girl/ boy. I also now have a good relationship with my sibling whereas we HATED one another until I moved out, they confided in me about something shortly after I left and I honestly am not sure that would have happened had I stayed.

Honestly let your daughter go, it could be the making of her and her relationships with the whole family. Dismissing her feelings and trying to push her to stay is likely to just make her more stubborn. Sorry but telling your son to replace the drink is not discipline, surely there are consequences for taking other people's property without asking? That is stealing outside the home.

I left home at 17 after an almighty row too. Am now 35 and have never returned to my parents' house to stay.

Have to say I have a fantastic relationship with them now.

barbarawright

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Aw, brothers stealing stuff is good practice for when you live in a shared house and all your jacket potatoes/cottage cheese/conditioner [ad infinitum] goes mysteriously missing as soon as you pop round to the shop for milk.

Definitely start packing up the dog's things as well.

Indeed. Did he even know it was a special drink that he wasn't allowed to have? And using headphones left around is hardly a crime. Maybe he feels ignored what with his sister getting special food and a dog and dance classes. And now he's being punished for something that would be completely normal in plenty of families.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

SuzieSue wrote: »

What do you mean? If you had CFS would someone irritating you help your condition?

Wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to it.



No more than having an argument affects Rheumatoid arthritis. Or cancer, or heart disease or any other illness.


He's not responsible for her being ill. He's not responsible for her throwing forty fits over it. She is choosing to react in that way.



Unless she actually means to leave home, which is perfectly reasonable at 17, then it's just a mean attempt to make mum kowtow to her needs above everyone else. If it's genuine, then good on her and have a nice adult life where she'll be in a shared house where people won't really care whether she's ill or not.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

SuzieSue wrote: »

What makes you think that?

This.......

helenthemum wrote: »

I love her so much and will do anything for her, probably spoilt her too much in time and attention, dance lessons, always being there for her, especially when bad things have happened, going to the doctors with her at her request etc.

helenthemum

The drink had been in the fridge for 2 weeks, I put the shopping away on Thursday and don't remember seeing it only a half drunk one which I have seen her drinking from several times over the last week. So I am not 100% convinced he did take it, I have still told him off and he is going to replace it tomorrow. The headphones were left on the dinning room table not in her bedroom which is a no go area and everyone knows that. I always knock before entering any of the children's bedrooms, they are at an age where they need their own space respected.

She has always blown things up out of proportion making a mountain out of a mole hilletc. Conviently remembering when she has helped around the house and the boys haven't and they help a lot more than she does. My eldest also has cfs and just gets on with life as best he can.

Her and her boyfriend tried to take the dog for a walk and came back within 5 mins as she can't handle him and he is only 6 mths old. He takes a few mins to settle before being very good on walks with me. She is not a very tolerant person. I gave her boyfriend the treats as she forgot them.

I have just dropped her boyfriend to the bus station and she is going to go there later tonight. I refused to drive them to his place as it is a 35 mile round trip and they both have bus passes they can use. She has claimed down a lot which is good.

I have tried to give her space, but at the same time its hard as I want to talk to her. I think there a fine line there somewhere.

The boyfriends mum thinks my daughter is wonderful, she has 4 boys and hasn't seen how much mess my daughter leaves around the house yet. Things just seem to fall off her as soon as she walks through the door.

Lostinrates no the energy drinks are not good for them as it gives them what cfs suffers call boom and bust which is not good as the bust side can last far longer than the boom.

duchy

SuzieSue wrote: »

No, life isn't fair, but parents should try to be. All the OP's daughter wants is to be treated fairly. Just because life in general isn't fair, it doesn't mean her own mother shouldn't be.

And you've decided this based on what ? Talk about a leap in the dark !

I could say the OP's DS is acting up for attention as his sister is getting all his Mum's attention since she got CFS ..........but that'd be silly too -as we simply don't know . (Maybe a bit of both .....it's tough on the whole family when one sibling has an illness)

SuzieSue

duchy wrote: »

And you've decided this based on what ? Talk about a leap in the dark !

I based it on the OP's posts which is all I have to go on as I'm not psychic.

Errata

She believes she's an adult and wants to leave home. Treat her like an adult, respect her decision and ask for her doorkeys as she leaves.

Mrs_Bones

I wouldn't insist she takes the dog with her if, as you seem to be saying, she's incapable of taking care of it.