Internet dating issue

yvonne13_2

OP I think you need to take a step back and look at things from all angles.

The man is on more than one website looking for god knows what, you have chased him like a love sick puppy and he couldn't give a rat's behind.

You've Googled his first name yet you have no surname and you've convinced yourself that he's real....

Your best of Googleing his user names from both sites to see what he's really upto.

Going forward try and treat internet dating as speed dating that way you wont get disappointed when a guy doesn't give you the signs that he's into you.

Treevo

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP I think you need to take a step back and look at things from all angles.

The man is on more than one website looking for god knows what, you have chased him like a love sick puppy and he couldn't give a rat's behind.

You've Googled his first name yet you have no surname and you've convinced yourself that he's real....

Your best of Googleing his user names from both sites to see what he's really upto.

Going forward try and treat internet dating as speed dating that way you wont get disappointed when a guy doesn't give you the signs that he's into you.

So's the OP. And it was him who messaged her, not the other way around.

LouLou

One thing that's important is not to invest too much emotionally on a person who is, essentially, a stranger. People who are maybe not that experienced at dating, or perhaps lacking in confidence a little, can fall into this trap easily.

What you find online is that there are many (though not all) who prefer the veil of secrecy the internet gives you: you can ignore questions, change the subject, or have time to word things carefully with tricky subjects: whereas face-to-face body language gives us much more of a clue how our potential date is really feeling.

Most people, women as well as men, tend not to be direct if they're not interested or just "looking for fun". It's a shame people can't be upfront, as vague language can be as bad as lying, in my opinion.

Trust your gut instinct, and don't give time and energy to those who don't have any for you.

I actually think his contacting you on another website (without realising??) was downright rude!!!!

Find a man who is worthy of you and treat your dates almost like you're vetting them: to see if you can be friends, if there's chemistry, common bonds, similar viewpoints, even ambitions.

For such a huge commitment and life change don't ever sell yourself short. It will take time to find the right fit for you, so see it as a learning experience. Keep a little detached emotionally until you are sure. The more people you date, the clearer your ideas about your potential partner will be.

Don't view dating as a waste of time, for most of us, it's part of the process, and you can have fun on the way Good luck to you x

Funky_Bold_Ribena

LouLou wrote: »

One thing that's important is not to invest too much emotionally on a person who is, essentially, a stranger. People who are maybe not that experienced at dating, or perhaps lacking in confidence a little, can fall into this trap easily.

What you find online is that there are many (though not all) who prefer the veil of secrecy the internet gives you: you can ignore questions, change the subject, or have time to word things carefully with tricky subjects: whereas face-to-face body language gives us much more of a clue how our potential date is really feeling.

Most people, women as well as men, tend not to be direct if they're not interested or just "looking for fun". It's a shame people can't be upfront, as vague language can be as bad as lying, in my opinion.

Trust your gut instinct, and don't give time and energy to those who don't have any for you.

I actually think his contacting you on another website (without realising??) was downright rude!!!!

Find a man who is worthy of you and treat your dates almost like you're vetting them: to see if you can be friends, if there's chemistry, common bonds, similar viewpoints, even ambitions.

For such a huge commitment and life change don't ever sell yourself short. It will take time to find the right fit for you, so see it as a learning experience. Keep a little detached emotionally until you are sure. The more people you date, the clearer your ideas about your potential partner will be.

Don't view dating as a waste of time, for most of us, it's part of the process, and you can have fun on the way Good luck to you x

I wondered where my little book of Zen had gone.

LouLou

Believe me, I know quite a few people who have "settled" and are unhappy about who they're with. I'd rather be single than cause myself and other people heartache further down the line by being with someone who isn't right.

I'm not trying to be trippy-hippy (re, your "zen" comment) but so many people are focussed on the end goal, it's all about having a boyfriend and not putting too much thought into the reasons, or whether they truly are compatible. The hearts and flowers stage doesn't last very long. And I'm talking women (most guys I know are much more easy-ozy about commitment) who have lived and loved quite a bit, not just teenagers with stars in their eyes.

I was trying to be kind and maybe offer advice, and make no apologies for that.

j.e.j.

LouLou wrote: »

I actually think his contacting you on another website (without realising??) was downright rude!!!!

I wondered about this. Doctors (generally speaking!) aren't forgetful, and OP said her photos were the same on both sites. He could have overlooked it or not taken much notice, I suppose. He does sound like he's still on the lookout for someone, though, and for that reason I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were the OP.

ninjaryder

Could be a trainee TREE surgeon ?

yvonne13_2

ninjaryder wrote: »

Could be a trainee TREE surgeon ?

I don't think it matters what he does for a living as the OP liked what he wrote on his profile.

Cherry_Bomb

IHD wrote: »

He's probably a 'catfish' ! Does anyone watch that programme?

Considering catfish is more about those having 'serous' relationships with nothing more than profile pictures I'd say this is nothing like that.

LOL do you watch the programme?

[Deleted User]

Hi,

jings, things have changed a lot.

In my young day you got to a dance at the weekend.

Few beers before, then up to the hall.

Didn't rush in, but walked round the hall checking out the chicks, chatting a bit, arrange a dance for later, maybe, just in case you met another more fanciable.

Had to be careful not to leave it too late, or wait for the 'last dance', could end up with a 'wallflower'.

Then, if lucky enough to have own car, gave her a lift home and chatted then, maybe another date.

Most of the time a mate had the car, so it was half a dozen bodies squashed in, with a bit of fumbling going on in back seat.

Ah, happy days, pre no drinking and driving.