Frugal Frump to Fab-u-lous Spring Equinox to Summer Solstice

evilsquid1603

saw ExOH today, we had a blazing row via text last night (everything was still my fault but he wanted me home regardless, despite that fact he was getting me kicked off the house tenancy, mind boggles!)and he text me literally as id just got to Wigan to go to the lettings agent to hand the key in this morning asking to talk. i thought it was better to tell him once and for all in person than keep having these stupid rows. my friend said hed posted on Facebook that he was drinking tequila so thats prob what started it and by the time he got round to texting me id already had wine so i wasnt exactly in a civil "just ignore him!" mood.

long story short, he wants me home, never believed that i would actually go and stay gone, has convinced himself that the circumstances of me going were completely different to what actually happened and asked what we can change as this was the kick up the bum we needed. i put him straight that i tried to stop this and he sat back, let me go and told me that there was no hope for us at all. he said hed changed his mind!

i told him how i felt living there, that i felt like no more than a pet kept by those two that was just ordered around and there to follow them around. i asked him how comments like "why dont you spend time with you wife?" "oh lets move the playstations downstairs and she can watch us play!" just put the nails in the coffin. i said honestly weve not even been friends, let along in a marriage. we've just lived together. i told him there is no way im coming back to that house and i think we should leave it for talking to each other until the divorce is done.

all the things he's said he's trotted out before when we've split up and this just happens over and over again without anything ever changing and i'm not putting myself through it again. it was exactly the same romantic lines hes used before but after hearing them god knows how many times they just don't wash anymore. honestly, it was all i could do to stop bursting into laughter at the sheer disbelief at what he was saying to me!

lessonlearned

Hang in there evilsquid - don't let him haul you back into his orbit.......You will be just fine on your own. Who knows one day you might not be on your own.;)

You may, like WW, have a "fling" or, like me, one day a whirlwind might enter your life.

If there is one thing that life has taught me it's this. You just never know what is waiting round the corner.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad and sometimes -

it's just downright f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s. :rotfl:

Well as you know I've been thinking about my 101 in 1001 Day Zero Project and I thought I would break it down into 10 mini goals before the end of this year.

Here they are - in no particular order.......

1. Buy a house
2. Buy another house
3. Visit Chatsworth at Christmas - see note at end
4. Buy a sewing machine
5. Do a refresher sewing course
6. Do a basic diy skills course
7. Try Botox
8. Start learning Italian - see note at the end
9. A night at the theatre
10. Go out one day a week

Some explanatory notes

Chatsworth is wonderful at Christmas, they have a theme and the whole house is decorated. OH and I used to go each year. We were self employed and we called it our "Christmas Do". We would visit the house, eat a delicious lunch in their posh restaurant and then call in at the Farm Shop and stock up on Christmas goodies and then stuff our faces again with afternoon tea.

It's a fabulous day out and I haven't done it for 2 years because OH has been too ill. This year I will do it alone if OH isn't up to it.

Learning Italian - I adore Italy. Next year I want to go there for a holiday. I will brush up my Italian in preparation. Florence is on my hit list.;)

Theatre - I love the theatre. It has been far too long since OH and I managed to go. If he cannot make it then I will either go alone or with a friend.

Go out one day a week - I have been a hermit for far too long. I guess I have been waiting for OH to be well enough to do things with me. Realistically - unless these meds really do perform a minor miracle this just isn't going to happen. It's time I came out of my cave and faced the world again.

I did think about putting "Going on holiday" as one of my 10 but given what's happening with mum and dad, OH and trying to buy a house it might not be realistic.

If I do manage it that will be my "bonus". :rotfl:

Bitsy_Beans

whichwhydoIturn wrote: »

Hello, I'd love to subscribe to this thread , could someone tell me how to subscribe please .Thank you

It's dead simple.
Just above the first post of each thread page there is a little drop down list called thread tools. Click on that, select subscribe to thread and you will be subscribed. Then to call up your subscribed threads along the tool bar which shows Main Site, Forum, User CP etc there is a quick links drop down list. Under the misc section at the bottom you can click on subscribe list and it will bring them all up hope that makes sense

LL yep that dress is fully lined too, I think it's a bargain for £20 love your 10 goals, Chatsworth is beautiful but have never been at Christmas. Am guessing we probably won't get to go once we've moved, shall have to make do with Bath instead which I am reliably informed is lovely at Christmas. Heaving with people but lovely all the same

Squid hugs my lovey x just repeat to exH too late and a dollar short. He sounds like a right tool.....

Sparkles hope you're feeling bit better soon x

evilsquid1603

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Squid hugs my lovey x just repeat to exH too late and a dollar short. He sounds like a right tool.....

i think he wrote the rulebook on being a tool tbh! some of the stuff he does, nothing surprises me with him anymore he's that bad!

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hang in there evilsquid - don't let him haul you back into his orbit.......You will be just fine on your own. Who knows one day you might not be on your own.;)

You may, like WW, have a "fling" or, like me, one day a whirlwind might enter your life.

If there is one thing that life has taught me it's this. You just never know what is waiting round the corner.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad and sometimes -

it's just downright f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s. :rotfl:

well i was thinking the other day about all the things ive missed since being with him, ive barely seen my friends, barely been out, we've not gone on romantic weekends away (unless were counting the premier in at Castleford! :rotfl:) and we've not done anything spontaneous in years! not even just lets go for a picnic, or a walk in the countryside, for a pub lunch etc. we've literally just stayed in and been cut off from the world.

im actually exited that one day i might be able to do random things like that again and go out just because the sun has put in an appearance or the day ends in Y. even if its just with my friends and i dont find a "fling" for a while, im really not that bothered, im just excited that theres a whole word out there thats had a relatively quiet time of it in the past few years while ive not been around! :rotfl:

fedupandskint

LL - I too can vouch that the farm shop and cafe at Chatsworth are a lovely place to visit, I love the gardens there too and the house is always worth a visit especially if you haven't been before - just remember to budget and save up for it!

evilsquid - doing well sticking to your resolve - keep at it as he sounds a waste of space in your life.

Bitsy - I'm still felling full of cold - came on strong yesterday evening and hace a sore throat and cough too. Weirdly feel ok though. Might have a walk up town later if I don't go for a run. Will see how I feel.

My fabness today will be de hardening my feet, moisturising them, an exfoliate and facemask, 2 hours of fab study, listen to some of the champions trophy and generally have a bit of a rest today - scrub that run off the list - better listen to how I feel!

WelshWoofer

lessonlearned wrote: »

You may, like WW, have a "fling" or, like me, one day a whirlwind might enter your life.

If there is one thing that life has taught me it's this. You just never know what is waiting round the corner.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad and sometimes -

it's just downright f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s. :rotfl:

Well, I'm not sure if I'm a very good example but I'm certainly having a whale of a time at the moment.:)
I was alone for 3 years and had no intention of dating, looking for a relationship and was happy my myself after years of worrying about other people.
And then, boom, this all happened completely out of the blue!
It's actually developed very quickly into something quite intense and exciting. LL - Whirlwind may be a good way to describe it.
Scary but exhilarating and exciting at the same time. He feels the same way so who knows what will happen - I'll just enjoy it and go with the flow for now though.

Had a lovely afternoon yesterday, spent talking, drinking beers in the garden and generally just being together.

Today is another lovely day weatherwise so far so it will involve more time sorting the garden, sunbathing and pottering about. Just off to take the dog to the park (waiting for the hayfever meds to kick in) and then a quick 1 mile swim before the day gets going properly.

Hope everyone has a lovely day. xx

fedupandskint

90 min walk done
Face exfoliated and face masked applied
Hair treatment applied
Throat sore and bunged up so no run today - will be taking it easy today

fedupandskint

4 hrs fab study done today!

Still full of cold but at least having a quiet day at home made me knuckle down a bit!

lizzie157

Have just had a quick read through so if i miss anyone i apologize.

LL -so sorry you're having a tough time with your mum and dad. Your list of goals looks good. Might be tme to re think mine too.

Evilsquid- you're better off out of it...... if only i'd woken up earlier in my life.

fedup-hope you're feeling a bit better.

WW- :T on the weight. Overheard DD2 talking about how much slimmer i looked yesterday so hope my 2llb gain has gone when i weigh myself tomorrow.

Been a rough week here too DD2 is stll not right and we now have 2 hospital appt for investgations. School was getting a bit shirty about her absences but after explainations and the medical evidence have now become a bit more understanding but it's worrying that despite stronger painkillers the pain still persists. I am hoping it is those unexplained 'growing pains' you hear off.

Relatives dog had an accident whlst i was walking, managing to run into a very sharp peice of metal someone had dumped and has quite bad injuries but fortunately wll be ok - it could have been so much worse. Good thing it wasn't because H took ages to fetch me when i rang for help as there was blood everywhere. He had a wash etc now had it been me I would have rushed off - whats more important?

He has also been in a mood over the weekend as i had my haircut( probably have it done once every 10-12 weeks), and bought a couple of bits of ebay n a smaller size as my clothes are abit big now. Of course he denied this was the reason but know different.

Not much else happening what with dealing with DD2 and the dog haven't had time to concentrate on much else - hopefully this week will be more peaceful and I can sort my head out and get organized again. Have agood day everyone.

Skymist

Hiya ladies....l-o-n-g time no see, 'cos I've been on a marathon journey of HOUSE fabbing!!:D.......and this will be a bit of a marathon post, so, sorry in advance!!!:eek:

I finally got round to de-hoarding the 12 years :eek: (that's how long I've lived in this flat!) of emotionally-filled clutter/stuff, after watching several "De-hoarding" programmes, this year and last, and thinking, "I must do that!", and getting the final prompt from the visit of my son, daughter-in-law and baby grandaughter earlier this year, when I recieved the final light-bulb moment of realisation that there was NO WAY that they would ever want/need all my stuff (rubbish!) when I'm gone, especially living on the other side of the planet!!!

Well, the de-cluttering itself took about two weeks to complete, with the help of the Hearing Dogs for the Deaf charity, who were more than happy to collect all my hoarded goodies!!! I just switched off, and was brutal with myself, hardly looking at most things...well I hadn't looked at most of it for years anyway!!LOL...and that included trinkets and books etc. "displayed" around my house, whose sole purpose ended up as being dust-magnets!!!:eek:

That done, my flat showed all the signs of wear and I realised that I would now have to embark on a total decorating spree, and as I can't afford to pay someone to do it for me, it would be a DIY job!!!:eek::eek::eek:

I've now completed the sitting room and bedroom ......2 coats of emulsion on walls and ceiling, silk on the woodwork...all Magnolia (it used to be white walls and cerulean blue ceilings)....and I've also fitted new carpet in my bedroom, and will also be laying new carpet in the sittingroom and hall

When I first moved here, the Council (it's a Council flat) gave me the keys 2 weeks before I officially moved in, so I was able to redecorate in that time...the decor was horrendous!!!...but I knackered my arms/wrists resulting in Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, which gradually healed in time, but it's back!!! :eek: Still, there's no point in moaning, as I still have the kitchen, hall and bathroom to do, even if my arms/hands are completely numb/tingling by the time I finish.....I'll have years to get better, and I can't see me ever doing this again, 'cos at 63, I still (just) have the wherewithall to complete this task, but I doubt if I'll be able to pull it off again a few years down the line!!!:D

The only "me" fabbing I've done, apart from the everyday routines, is to lop off about 6" of hair, which is now a shoulder-length bob....I just got fed up with the long stragglyness of it!!!

So, today, I'm having a complete day of rest,:D:D:D and I'm online...YAH...and thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing! I have been keeping up with reading what's been happening to you all, (snatching a quick peek betwen paint coats drying!!), your trials and tribulations ( LL's parents and OH, Bitsy's house situation, lizzie's H's behaviour ), life changes (evilsquid's OH troubles, Pod's job problems and WW's "Fling" (YAY!)), best healing wishes for any physical aches and pains (verynewmoneysaver,Sparkles and LL, amongst others), congrats for all achievements (Sparkles, go girl, but I wouldn't exercise too much with a cold, as your immune system is already compromised , and exercise just adds more stress), and condolences for all family losses...if I've missed out anything/anybody, please forgive me, but after this long ramble, my hands are no longer with me,so that's it for now folks. Take care girls.

S