Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

lir, by all means marker up if it helps you to walk into the surgery and begin the conversation. I suspect, though, that it won't make much difference to the quantity of rummaging that you have to endure. I suspect any doctor examining lumps would be negligent to examine just the lumps that the patient has already identified. Once some lumps are present, the doc probably has to rummage about to make sure s/he's found all of them.
[X-posted with tomterm]

About the rest of it...
lir, you are such a generous and uncomplaining person. You remain brave and "keep calm and carry on" in the face of all sorts of stuff that would utterly defeat most of the rest of us. I want to say to you what my work's occupational nurse said to me: that for you to have got through the last few years without antidepressants is astonishing, but that now you have got to start looking after your mental health, in whatever way turns out to be most helpful.

I am so glad that venting at us has helped you feel a little stronger. But on it's own, that won't accomplish much. Please let people help you - I'm not trying to prescribe what kind of help you should accept from which people, but something.

A lot of what you have been through - the health stuff and special girl - was nobody's fault and just sheer bad luck. However, the story of your heating is beyond unacceptable. Is there any progress yet? You need heating, but even if you can't have heating, then you absolutely need reliable hot water, now (well, last autumn really). Is there no way fir can make a bold move somehow and put an end to this? It's damaging your health, both mental and physical. It is ludicrous that anybody should consider it remotely OK for somebody in your state of health should be without proper hot water for nearly a year since the idiots first turned up to start installing your system. Can't you charge them a daily fee for every day you're without functioning hot water until they sort it out? That might concentrate their little minds on the effect that their incompetence is having. :mad:

He's trying. ATM I have dumped a lot of stuff on him to deal with and he's holding down a job in a new area of law which he is learning on the job.

Tbc, we DO still have the temporary shower installed in the bathroom. So there is one source of hot water.. Its just its not as great in winter to have a limp stream of water that cannot hold temp as it was in summer.

We're still in arbitration but just going through the motions. It's not going to achieve anything. Dh is prepping a case with a litigation solicitor but the arbitration guys are as bad as the company and just don't return calls or emails. The case is pretty much prepped, we just need the arbitration guys to officially through their hands up in the air.

All the little jobs do feel bigger than they are. I am buying paint for the outside of the utility this week and if we have a dry day I think I'll start that. It's not a huge job but should feel satisfying.

lostinrates

tomterm8 wrote: »

Er, I didn't assume anywhere. But to put this in perspective, when they were checking me for bowel cancer (didn't have it) they pretty much checked lots of places on my body - neck, back, stomach. All over the show.

Oh, ok.

I have no idea what these are, they are in an odd place but they could be a number of things. I am not over concerned with them IYSWIM. It's just another little thing.

I am likely to panic in the surgery...me and GPs you know....and not be able to say clearly where the smaller ones are,

vivatifosi

tomterm8 wrote: »

Er, I didn't assume anywhere. But to put this in perspective, when they were checking me for bowel cancer (didn't have it) they pretty much checked lots of places on my body - neck, back, stomach. All over the show.

Good news that it was a negative! I do now understand your aversion to the marker pen idea. I wouldn't want to stick one there either:o

Spirit_2

lostinrates wrote: »

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tomterm8

It won't hurt to do it, LIR. Not at all.

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

That's fair enough. Esp if you have been there before. I'm sure it can only be a good thing to realise one is in danger of cracking before it actually happens. Just need to try and use that insight to avoid it happening (easier said than done).

. I talk, a lot, to friends, here, dh. I just don't necessarily resolve that way.

PasturesNew

Nikkster wrote: »

... counsellor ...

That has to be a posh alert.... paying somebody to sit and listen to you.

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

Hahaha, good, Thanks.

I will marker up then.

Probably not the love heart, the arrow pointing south with a wonky there be dragons' sign, or a 'not this way inclined, good news, I'm double sided!' Message. Seriously, its a good thing I never got into tattoos!

A few days before Isaac was born, OH got a bit carried away and drew an arrow from top to bottom on my gigantic stomach, and labelled it "EXIT".

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

You have a different set of commitments - an exhisting cohort of clients, a clutch of dogs and a house and garden that you are doing up. You are not well much of the time and when you are ..does he really want you spending that time on looking after a youngster. Sorry LiR it is not a fair compromise. FiR gets what he wants when he wants and you 'pay' for it. I am not of a selfish bent and would rarely suggest that you think "what is in it for me" but you need to do this...FiR knows what is in this for him... this advice may be better suited to the families and relationship board but you have to tell him "At this time, I am not up to doing it."

When you are well again...the challenge of a youngster may be fine...but it has to be your choice if it is you who will pick up the reins.

I can see it looks like that . Particularly as you are MY chums and I am groaning. But I don't think it feels like that here, not even to me.

Nikkster

lostinrates wrote: »

single sex school. EDs rule. Then the other mental Illness in the family.

I decided to talk to someone a bit after spending a year sort of at home for the first time too. I am pretty sure that is what started the hedonistic behaviour I then enjoyed for a while. I talk, a lot, to friends, here, dh. I just don't necessarily resolve that way.

I think I understand that - I'm generally quite 'self aware' and self-analytical (/ critical. Why am I telling you lot this? I'm pretty sure it comes out in my posts). Once I had got over the shame of ex stealing (was worried colleagues would think I was also untrustworthy), I was pretty open. I generally am about most things. In a lot of ways I couldn't have helped it even if I had want ed to as I had my toes firmly over the edge (stressful work didn't help). And so we ended up going round in circles - they would make the same suggestions over and over, and I would have answers as to why they wouldn't work (which I know I have done on here...). I think it really helped ME to speak to someone completely removed.
But on the other hand, there was an 'easy' bit of advice I was given - that it would be better to take some control back rather than waiting for work contract not to be renewed due to money/ ex to leave me as we were miserable. That was the one bit of advice I actually managed to put into action.