Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

PasturesNew

I am always surprised by "how little" people's extensions etc cost when I watch HutH and when Kirstie/Phil get a local builder in to quote ....

I'd get something a bit tatty and do it up except even a tatty one is top of my budget - so no budget for doing anything up + would have to be paying rent at the same time. I'm looking for somewhere to move into and live.

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

Thanks lir I'll stop worrying now.

Its certainly not the most :eek: email I've ever had. A (single!) friend from school once sent my pictures of his nether regions. I'm not sure what effect he thought it would have, but it wasn't very well received :rotfl:

Tbh , it's only now we are 'grown ups' I almost don't expect to see friends in the altogether....swimming, sleeping over, whatever.

Not via text though, I think I would be outraged for a short while then howl with laughter while papering a hilarious put down reply....' Gosh, you are so much taller than dh, its funny how these things never tally' ....

Nikkster

Spirit wrote: »

That is a well crafted email from someone who knows what they are doing. Do not trouble yourself a moment longer with the conceited wotsit. He is plainly a legend in his own mind in that he has interpreted your social graces as the actions of a smitten conquest.

I would definitely share it with other key contacts who were at the event.... to create awarenes of and make fun of his ridiculous conduct. That he has responsibilities is not your concern..as it was not his.

You may find he has got form.

Sorry if this sounds totally b i t c h y but too often I have come across horrible behaviour protected by the honourable behaviour and silence of others who do not like to expose them.

Thanks for the other replies spirit, silvercar and lir - I feel much better now! (for me, not for the wife mind you). I will try to find a way to bring this up with my friends who know emailer better (will have to get over that they might have clearer memories if I was overfriendly).

Spirit - that doesn't sound !!!!!y at all. I completely understand what you are saying.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

The right new relationship will be with a man who adores you, who you adore, with whom each of you seeks to improve the other's day, well...life. Someone who you feel totally comfortable receiving propositioning emails from...and sending your own back. Who makes you smile and feel warm. Who you want to see when things go wrong, or right, in other aspects of your life, and for whom you want to be their to enjoy their smiles, the funny way they laugh, and to hold them when they are sad or worried.

Nikkster wrote: »

Ok - when you put it like that it sounds much more appealing

I have to say, lostinrates, that you and foundinrates are such a great advert for marriage. Finding a bloke of fir's calibre who hasn't already been snapped up is sadly not so easy - at least not when you're over 40, as I am. I'm sure there are some somewhere, but they're few and far between - so no offence intended to any delightful 40-something single men reading this. Maybe they'll be easier to find once my kids are old enough to be left for the evening without needing a sitter. Hope nikkster is finding the market a bit less sparse in her age group.

Spirit wrote: »

That is a well crafted email from someone who knows what they are doing. Do not trouble yourself a moment longer with the conceited wotsit. He is plainly a legend in his own mind in that he has interpreted your social graces as the actions of a smitten conquest.

I would definitely share it with other key contacts who were at the event.... to create awarenes of and make fun of his ridiculous conduct. That he has responsibilities is not your concern..as it was not his.

You may find he has got form.

Sorry if this sounds totally b i t c h y but too often I have come across horrible behaviour protected by the honourable behaviour and silence of others who do not like to expose them.

So totally not b i t c h y, Spirit, and I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment that this jerk knows what he's doing. A few months ago, I got tangled up in trying to be kind, polite and helpful while making it clear I wasn't interested in a (single) bloke who was managing to appear clueless rather than bad, although I'm glad to say his apparent cluelessness was at least ringing enough of my alarm bells that there was no chance of my being interested.

Fortunately, one of his tactics was to try to strengthen his contact with me by talking about a mutual friend that he discovered we had. I'm happy to say that the friend, after much agonising about whether to "interfere", cared enough to tell me about his history, and to explain that he was considerably less clueless, more manipulative, and downright nastier than I had picked up on. I was very grateful to her, and followed her advice to cut all contact without explanation or apology. Fortunately the only contact details he had for me were my workplace address, my username on a website he's been banned from (accessible only to paying members), and facebook, on which I've not only unfriended but also blocked him.

Mercifully that kind of creep is usually after whatever woman he thinks he's got a chance with, and will give up and move on to the next target as soon as he realises he hasn't got a chance with this one.

lostinrates

Men are out there. I know they are. It's the tighter the parameters get the harder it is I guess. For example, I know some great thinking men in their forties plus.....but I cannot think of one who is a Christian in the sense of the word you would want Lydia. Although, dh has a couple of quite 'committed' Christian friends. I think you do enough of the social stuff to give yourself a good change though (NW etc). That's got to be part of the key, and just to keep plugging away at keeping a broad social life with some realistic oppertunity.

Btw, a friend of the family was some sort of volunteer church help for women who found themselves in your positiowith LNE It's surprising how many there are. . Horrid friend of mutual friend. Thank god mutual friend was not backwards in coming forwards with the version of events she knew.

Spirit_2

Mr S and I want to donate to this. It is so sad.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22335571
I have googled and cannot find out how to.

Can any NP find me a link/how

Thanks

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

Mr S and I want to donate to this. It is so sad.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22335571
I have googled and cannot find out how to.

Can any NP find me a link/how

Thanks

I wonder if he has a just giving page? Can you search just giving by name? Or ...Hang on, I think it has to be a registered charity for that.

Find a link to the local paper with an article in it, they will tell you how to.

Nikkster

Spirit wrote: »

Mr S and I want to donate to this. It is so sad.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22335571
I have googled and cannot find out how to.

Can any NP find me a link/how

Thanks

That is a sad story, and is very nice of you and Mr S.
At the bottom of this page:http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/10367633.Mason_walking_for_dad_s_memorial/
is an email address/ phone number.
I have no idea whether they are legit or not etc.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Men are out there. I know they are. It's the tighter the parameters get the harder it is I guess. For example, I know some great thinking men in their forties plus.....but I cannot think of one who is a Christian in the sense of the word you would want Lydia. Although, dh has a couple of quite 'committed' Christian friends. I think you do enough of the social stuff to give yourself a good change though (NW etc). That's got to be part of the key, and just to keep plugging away at keeping a broad social life with some realistic oppertunity.

Btw, a friend of the family was some sort of volunteer church help for women who found themselves in your position. It's surprising how many there are. .

You are always so understanding and encouraging, lir. Thank you.

BTW, which aspect of my position were you thinking of - the affair and being left and nearly divorced, or the being widowed? I can't imagine there are enough of us "suddenly widowed just before the divorce became final" types around to be worth any church setting up a support system just for us.

Spirit_2

Nikkster wrote: »

That is a sad story, and is very nice of you and Mr S.
At the bottom of this page:http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/10367633.Mason_walking_for_dad_s_memorial/
is an email address/ phone number.
I have no idea whether they are legit or not etc.

Thanks - I have emailed and asked for a link to donate online.