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Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait
Comments
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lostinrates wrote: »So, say five or six weeks if loss slows down?
I'd swap for that situation!:D
I'll call it a couple of months, I think. Better to look on the darker side!
Someone said that you can either have good nails or good hair, not both.
My Granny said that after 50 you have to choose between your backside and your face (as a female of the species)....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Won't you have the chance to take it out on somebody by being really beastly in cross-examination?
I'm going to take it out on the UK Border Agency in a JR tomorrow. Lots of scope, there!...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
I expect that if they did hypothetically meet again, the emailee would be making certain that they were not giving any encouraging signals - whether they emailer was thinking the same as previously or not. Emailee is not in the slightest bit interested, and is concerned that the emailer thinks that they are/ were.
I had two thoughts:
I wouldn't tell the wife (sorry Lydia). The reason is that you simply don't know anything about their relationship. They may be on the verge of splitting up and just staying together for the kids. She may be aware that he looks elsewhere. Who knows? You don't need to rub her nose in it and maybe precipitate a full break-up. It may not be a great marriage, but it's what they have.
If the emailer was still even a bit drunk when he emailed, I wouldn't take it seriously at all - I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. In any case, I think you should reply along the lines of:
"It was nice meeting you, but I'm not interested and I'm sorry if you picked up the wrong impression. And, in any case, I couldn't forget your wife and kids."No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »I'm going to take it out on the UK Border Agency in a JR tomorrow. Lots of scope, there!
That seems a good plan. I've never been convinced that the harsh cross-examination is the most effective.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
That seems a good plan. I've never been convinced that the harsh cross-examination is the most effective.
Very rarely effective, TBH....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
I had two thoughts:
I wouldn't tell the wife (sorry Lydia). The reason is that you simply don't know anything about their relationship. They may be on the verge of splitting up and just staying together for the kids. She may be aware that he looks elsewhere. Who knows? You don't need to rub her nose in it and maybe precipitate a full break-up. It may not be a great marriage, but it's what they have.
If the emailer was still even a bit drunk when he emailed, I wouldn't take it seriously at all - I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. In any case, I think you should reply along the lines of:
"It was nice meeting you, but I'm not interested and I'm sorry if you picked up the wrong impression. And, in any case, I couldn't forget your wife and kids."
I wasn't really suggesting that the hypothetical emailee should tell the wife herself - unless she knows her, which I imagine she doesn't. I just remember the deep feelings of frustration when I was trying to work out what LNE was up to, and all sorts of people had seen things or knew things, and many of them were talking to each other about it, but the one person that nobody would tell anything to was me. It felt like a conspiracy, and as though they were all colluding to help him keep his dirty little secret from me, and it made me feel helpless, angry, and deeply betrayed not only by him but by everyone who knew something, knew me, and said nothing. I didn't, OTOH, feel the same way about those who knew something but didn't know me.
Absolutely agree with your second paragraph. If it becomes necessary for the emailee to say or email any kind of "no" message, then she should mention the wife and kids in it. It certainly worked for me with the used car salesman, and I heard nothing more from him.
Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
I wasn't really suggesting that the hypothetical emailee should tell the wife herself - unless she knows her, which I imagine she doesn't. I just remember the deep feelings of frustration when I was trying to work out what LNE was up to, and all sorts of people had seen things or knew things, and many of them were talking to each other about it, but the one person that nobody would tell anything to was me. It felt like a conspiracy, and as though they were all colluding to help him keep his dirty little secret from me, and it made me feel helpless, angry, and deeply betrayed not only by him but by everyone who knew something, knew me, and said nothing. I didn't, OTOH, feel the same way about those who knew something but didn't know me.
Absolutely agree with your second paragraph. If it becomes necessary for the emailee to say or email any kind of "no" message, then she should mention the wife and kids in it. It certainly worked for me with the used car salesman, and I heard nothing more from him.
Lydia, to some extent I know how you feel - my ex took two other girls (the girls were more than just acquaintances, though I don't know whether anything physical happened or not there was definitely too much closeness - I found very rude texts between ex and both) out on nights out with friends (including the ex-colleagues who we met through and I considered a friend) .
The wife is unknown to me, I have no idea whether propositioning other people is a regular occurrence or not, but the email was definitely sent whilst drunk (though it was pretty well-typed). I have been nervously checking my emails since I found it, but have heard nothing else. I clearly didn't give my phone number as they stated they had got my email address from the event invitation. I have no intention of either replying or finding spousal contact details. I'm so embarrassed by the whole thing (not least in case I encouraged anything, though the email did suggest they weren't sure whether feelings were reciprocated), hate confrontation, and would like to think that the emailer has forgotten emailing (or is sufficiently embarrassed) and brush this all under a very thick carpet. If anything further is suggested I will mention that I am definitely not interested, and that I suggest they redirect their attention to their wife and children.0 -
I have to be honest that none of this makes me any keener to find a new relationship!0
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I have to be honest that none of this makes me any keener to find a new relationship!
It's apples and oranges.
This is a married jerk when you were drunk and perhaps let your guard down too much.
The right new relationship will be with a man who adores you, who you adore, with whom each of you seeks to improve the other's day, well...life. Someone who you feel totally comfortable receiving propositioning emails from...and sending your own back. Who makes you smile and feel warm. Who you want to see when things go wrong, or right, in other aspects of your life, and for whom you want to be their to enjoy their smiles, the funny way they laugh, and to hold them when they are sad or worried.
It's two totally different things.0 -
A dangerously on topic post coming up....
Mr S mentioned yesterday that almost all of the houses for sale in the village and nearby have sold signs. I looked on my way home tonight...and he is right.
Has the bottom of the house price dip been reached?0
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