Hoarding - Springing Ahead

caitybabes

GreyQueen wrote: »

parsniphead, I think that a lot of de-hoarding is in the head.

Totally agree, GreyQueen. I got rid of 3 old Ma Made tins today, but it took so much to-ing and fro-ing in my head to justify why I should keep them, then why I should get rid of them. For some reason I think they're beautiful and used to use them for pens, etc., but they were just cluttering up the top of the microwave!

Have put loads of stuff on ebay and have put it all in the conservatory so it's out of the way-ish.

Recycling wheelie bin is totally full, finally got rid of the lawnmower cardboard box which I had been keeping for some reason.

Have sorted the slightly dreaded electric/gas meter & broom cupboard so that things are tidy and well stored, means I've been able to get rid of a storage basket unit that was just out in the kitchen so less clutter and less storage for all the stuff that didn't really have a home.

Tired, feeling like I've done a lot but got so much left to do (clear the table, clear the stairs of all the stuff that is 'on its way upstairs', clear the sofa...

Despite the ma made tin debacle, am finding it much easier to get rid of stuff these days, thanks to reading this thread every day.
Thank you to everyone who posts on here, you keep me on the straight and narrow!

Cait

Catriona_P

GreyQueen wrote: »

parsniphead, I think that a lot of de-hoarding is in the head.

I know that can seem crazy when you're getting hot, dusty and tired wrestling with physical Stuff, but I'm convinced it's true.

Look at those cases where chronic hoarders are decluttered by others, inc the original media "star" Mr Trebus. And how quickly they recluttered. Their mindset hadn't changed so any improvements to their environment were only going to be temporary.

To declutter, you need to pause long enough to listen to the soundtrack of your own life, filtering out the workaday static, and questioning they whys and wherefores of your beliefs and habits.

I once heard an anecdote about force of habit. There were three generations of a family whose wimminfolk used to cut the top off a joint of meat before putting it in the oven. They'd always done it, never thought it odd, until an outsider questioned it.

Grandma was still alive, so they asked her, she thought very hard, then recalled that she'd once had a very shallow oven and had needed to cut the top off so the joint would fit.

How many things do we do, because we've always done them, because we were raised to do them by people who'd always done them?

Interesting, IMO. And I must shortly head off to work. GQ xx

Totally nodding along to this! I had personal counselling last year for marital problems, which turned into a discussion about my childhood. It was so insightful - the realisation that my hoarding was a defensive action against my overbearing Dad (who used to throw anything and everything of mine away) as a protective measure. I find even now that when things are bad (husband is a lot like my Dad), I start to hoard again. Now that I understand it, I'm trying to make it better. It's not always successful, but little by little...

The story about the meat made me laugh - for some reason I always leave about half an inch of my tea in the cup when I'm finished. No idea why. Took me a while to realise that my Mum does the same - but she does it because when she was young they always had tea made with tea leaves so the dregs were foul. Nowt so queer as folk right

No real decluttering but I finished the undercoat for the wall in the dining room last night (where the sideboard had been). Tonight the first coat of colour goes up. Will be lovely to finally have all the walls in that room the same colour

Florenceem

I am decluttering Mr F off on a business trip - does that count? :rotfl:
The decorator is painting walls in the office and I need to go and declutter some fluff/dust by cleaning.

parsniphead

Thanks for the comments GreyQueen. I have heard the meat story before and it always makes me smile. I was lucky not to grow up with hoarders. Home was generally tidy, well more so when I was out.;). I think I'm more worried about passing on my issues to the little one. I guess it why I have decided it needs to stop and be sorted now. I think it's good to talk about the issues but don't feel comfortable in real life but this is such a nice, friendly thread I feel happy to talk here.

You have been busy caitybabes, but eBay :eek::eek::eek:. It's a real nemesis of mine.

Catriona_p I'm in the middle of a decorating moment to and getting nowhere fast. I have a big patch of wall behind a wardrobe in a different colour but its so big and heavy to move I just left it.:rotfl:

I have decided another pile of books need to go today. I just don't want to go too far as I would like the little one to grow up with books around him so I have to be careful.

Later I think under the bed needs sorting. I have loads of fabric, sewing mags etc. I have a issue getting rid of my sewing mags but as a professional dressmaker I tend to know all the processes. Also anything I didn't know can be found online. I will ask the local charity shop, they may be useful for someone who wants to learn.

Also the bathroom, I must do some more.:o;)

First to the bookcase.

pigpen

Catriona_P wrote: »

for some reason I always leave about half an inch of my tea in the cup when I'm finished. No idea why. Took me a while to realise that my Mum does the same - but she does it because when she was young they always had tea made with tea leaves so the dregs were foul. Nowt so queer as folk right

We all leave a dribble in the mug too... because our water is so scaly.. otherwise you end up with a mouth full of limescale bits which is almost as disgusting as tea leaves.. we were posh and had a strainer for the tea leaves (one like a tiny sieve)

caitybabes

Thanks, parsniphead, why is eBay your nemesis? I love it, just take a pic on my phone and use eBay app to upload, it's very quick. Here's the catch: I only ever put things in for collection only as I can't stand having to post stuff - too much faff! This way, someone comes to take it away

Feel like I have made progress now, husband said last night "there seem to be lots of gaps everywhere, it's freaky!"

Off to Birmingham for a couple of days now for a wedding so will mostly be decluttering champagne from its bottle!!

Keep going everyone, it's so worthwhile.

lobbyludd

It's definitely more of a mental/emotional challenge than a physical one for me. the physical (for me) tends to be an excuse to not have to deal with the head/heart stuff.

one thing though - we really can't change the past, I know it's trite, but when I can get that and accept/forgive myself for the mistakes i've made, I make much better progress on everything.

My grandma, an extremely practical sort, who had no truck with/time for self-whipping over the past used to say: "if "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans there'd be no use for tinkers" in these situations,

make of that what you will!

children to third and final set of grandparents, so will try and finish the jobs I started on their last holibobs.

I have decluttered some rubbish from the car, but that's it for today, been a busy day at work and am sitting with feet up

Nanamia

Ooooooooh I'm so pleased to have found this thread Im definitely in need of some support and guidance whilst I reclaim my living space. Looking forward to getting to know you all and hopefully cheering each other on.

Page one here I come. I could be some time x

GreyQueen

Hello nanamia, nice to have you along.

Remember, you don't have to read the whole thread unless you really want to; a lot of us suffer the curse of perfectionism so don't feel you have to evidence your diligence by ploughing thru the whole lot. Or the one before that, too.

I've just spent the best part of an hour wrassling with paperwork and am all hot and bothered.

I would like to report that the first of the reconsituted Pr*ngle tube candles has been unpeeled from its tube and said tube discarded. Have done a little more work on the next one and will now melt some more wax for the next one so it can be hardening overnight.

After all, when you've reached maximum stickness and are going to shower before bedtime, you might as well keep on.

Keep up the good work, lovely peeps. GQ xx

Nanamia

Thanks for the welcome GreyQueen I'm just reading back so I feel I know you all better and to read of the fab progress