help with 14 yr old daughter

securityguy

thorsoak wrote: »

It has been pointed out to her - and will continue to be pointed out to her - that her actions are illegal,

No, they aren't. Her partner's actions are illegal. Hers are not. In any event, the chances of a prosecution, never mind a conviction, of a seventeen year old (unless there were substantial aggravating factors) are approximately zero. Of all the arguments to make to a fourteen year old, "you'll be arrested" is simply factually incorrect and "he'll be arrested" is like threatening him with being struck by lightning. Indeed, I suspect that if you're a seventeen year old having consensual sex with a fourteen year old, being struck by lightning while you do it is a bigger risk than being prosecuted.

I have teenage daughters, so I don't say any of this with joy or satisfaction. But that doesn't make it any less true.

thorsoak

securityguy wrote: »

No, they aren't. Her partner's actions are illegal. Hers are not. In any event, the chances of a prosecution, never mind a conviction, of a seventeen year old (unless there were substantial aggravating factors) are approximately zero. Of all the arguments to make to a fourteen year old, "you'll be arrested" is simply factually incorrect and "he'll be arrested" is like threatening him with being struck by lightning. Indeed, I suspect that if you're a seventeen year old having consensual sex with a fourteen year old, being struck by lightning while you do it is a bigger risk than being prosecuted.

I have teenage daughters, so I don't say any of this with joy or satisfaction. But that doesn't make it any less true.

Apologies - I worded it badly. I should have said that it would be her partner's actions would be illegal.

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

Apologies - I worded it badly. I should have said that it would be her partner's actions would be illegal.

Her partner is under 16, isn't he?

Person_one

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

she has just turned 14 and he will be 16 this yr

Yep, found it, she's 14 and he's 15, so definitely no legal/criminal concerns.

thorsoak

Person_one wrote: »

Yep, found it, she's 14 and he's 15, so definitely no legal/criminal concerns.

OK - was thinking of the other thread when he was 17.

securityguy

Person_one wrote: »

Yep, found it, she's 14 and he's 15, so definitely no legal/criminal concerns.

Sexual Offences Act 2003, S.13(1)

Child sex offences committed by children or young persons

A person under 18 commits an offence if he does anything which would be an offence under any of sections 9 to 12 if he were aged 18.

Sections 9 to 12 are:

9.Sexual activity with a child
10.Causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity
11.Engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child
12.Causing a child to watch a sexual act

The point is that the case probably wouldn't get to court unless there were aggravating factors. Has there been a prosecution of two fifteen year olds in living memory?

Person_one

securityguy wrote: »

Sexual Offences Act 2003, S.13(1)



Sections 9 to 12 are:



The point is that the case probably wouldn't get to court unless there were aggravating factors. Has there been a prosecution of two fifteen year olds in living memory?

http://www.fpa.org.uk/professionals/factsheets/lawonsex

"the law is not intended to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age, unless it involves abuse or exploitation."

ragecake

I feel I am late to the party...However.

You kinda handled it wrong, snooping isn't a good idea at any age, imagine if your child was the one doing it to you? Say, if you got a new partner, not exactly the same, but maybe she was worried for you, like kids do.

Most teens are pretty savvy at that age, with the internet, I know I was, even in the days of 56k, I knew about sex, and about safe sex, and I knew not to let my bf persuade me into doing anything, even though a lot of people blamed him.

If it were me, I would drop it for a while, maybe ask if she wants to go to the doctors for BC. Nothing more.

jellyhead

ragecake wrote: »

I feel I am late to the party...However.

You kinda handled it wrong, snooping isn't a good idea at any age, imagine if your child was the one doing it to you? Say, if you got a new partner, not exactly the same, but maybe she was worried for you, like kids do.

Most teens are pretty savvy at that age, with the internet, I know I was, even in the days of 56k, I knew about sex, and about safe sex, and I knew not to let my bf persuade me into doing anything, even though a lot of people blamed him.

If it were me, I would drop it for a while, maybe ask if she wants to go to the doctors for BC. Nothing more.

Knowing about safe sex doesn't mean schoolkids will use protection though. If my child was risking pregnancy at such a young age I'd want to know, because the message clearly hasn't got through. A year ten girl had a baby at my son's school. Even though she's still with her bf and they managed to scrape a few GCSEs it's not ideal, it's not the start to the teenage years that I'd want for my child. Being a parent is hard.

geoffky

We can all wish what we want but the reality is that there will be a few on here with 14yrs old daughters who are having sex if what my daughter tells me is true..
The amount of people her age that are having regular sexual encounters is to me eye opening..
I have talked to her about it and she has told me that many of her friends who have so called "steady boyfriends" are having sex and some of it unprotected..
These kids are from very well off families and the parents have not got a clue as to what their children are up to.
All we can do as parents is talk and then talk some more about these things because i just hope like all parents that if my daughter was sexually active she would at least go to family planning and i would wish she could talk to me about it but realize that is not always realistic..