I resent my sister and feel so guilty

suki1001

That's a really good post gravitytolls and i think very well put.

londonsurrey

Shopaholic101 wrote: »

She will inherit everything that's left aftercare home fees etc. they've always told me that and I'd get nothing as I'm able to take care of myself. So yes she gets a more than modest lifestyle for life.

Oddly this doesn't bother me, I'd never see her homeless or in debt because she can't earn enough to support herself.

She has no concept of money though.., she owes me her half of every present ever bought for our parents :rotfl: I've written off seeing that. Which again, oddly I don't care about.

That's very good of you.

However, does the entire system of support for your sister rely on your parents or you being about as a safety net and to help her manage her money? What happens in the case of unexpected tragedy? And she is younger than you?

Dunroamin

RAS wrote: »

What evidence do you have to support such a sweeping statement?

I know relatives who secreted unwanted food in the underside of dining chairs in the 1930s and 1940s.

Personally there are few things that make me feel physically sick if I find them on my plate or in the bowl in front of me. I know that two of these are foods I was forced to eat on on occasion only, when frightened and fearing violence. One I still respond to by walking out of the room as staying makes me queasy.

And I doubt either of us have the statistics on eating disorders prior to 1970. In fact I doubt anyone even collected them. I did however know a anorexic woman who died about that time and her condition was widely understood by local people.

I alsp hid food I didn't like (behind the gas meter:o), that doesn't mean I had an eating disorder. I haven't seen any evidence that eating disorders are caused by being made to eat food they didn't like either.

Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

This isn't about having to eat food you don't like - it's about one child always being given food she likes while the other child is never given her choice.

My comment wasn't to the OP, it was to another poster who said that being forced to eat foods you don't like leads to eating disorders.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

My comment wasn't to the OP, it was to another poster who said that being forced to eat foods you don't like leads to eating disorders.

I'm sure it can, but it wouldn't be the only factor or nearly all of us would have eating disorders. It is probably a contributing factor in people who are susceptible for other reasons though, and possibly depending on how it happens.

paye

Trust me the day might come when you might never see your sister again and when that day comes you will feel very guilty. You may hate her now but deep down you still love her as blood is thicker then water. Just live your life and enjoy what you have don;t worry about anyone else. Just try get on with her.

duchy

Oh for goodness sake "I was forced to go to university" You were -what ? Eighteen ? You were legally an adult. No one could force you. You could have got a job instead. You could have got a Saturday job at sixteen and saved up and had a gap year. I think you need to stop blaming everyone else and take some responsibility for your actions. At eighteen we make mistakes - or with hindsight realize we could have done things differently but as young adults we own our mistakes and they contribute to who we become.

Plenty of people have parents who turf them out at sixteen or won't support them in higher education -or take no interest in their grandchildren- I'm sure there were times sausages were served -and sometimes there was Ribena - but with your over dramatising about "getting left at uni" yadda yadda - it's an easy step to think "always" means "it happened once or twice"

I asked you right at the beginning of the thread what your partner thought-After all he SEES the interaction between you and your family. Does he see it as you do -or somewhat differently I wonder ?

londonsurrey

paye wrote: »

Trust me the day might come when you might never see your sister again and when that day comes you will feel very guilty. You may hate her now but deep down you still love her as blood is thicker then water. Just live your life and enjoy what you have don;t worry about anyone else. Just try get on with her.

The OP has already stated in the title that she feels guilty for simply thinking what she does.

wik

This thread has made me rather sad...
I have 2 darling duaghters - 17 and 13... and a son who is 18(who has left home)

my 17 yr old has had a bad couple of years, basically she had a breakdown at 15 when my mum passed away, she became unable to leave the house and go to school and finished school being home tutored ( she did well in GCSE and is now doing well on a college course), she still has struggles and in a way has regressed back a few years...
My 13 yr old says she hates her sister,That I give her more love and attention (how do you explain it? I have tried to get her to understand that her sister is poorly, but that you cant see this illness) and she says that I love her sister more than her! There are days when I am just so very sad, as when they were little they were best of friends.

I just live in hope that one day they will be friends again!

poet123

I can understand the resentment of childhood, but I really can't understand the resentment of a grown adult woman towards a girl with such obvious problems.

To carry with you resentment about Ribena and sausages seems to me very trivial in the scheme of things. Would you swap your life for hers? I very much doubt it, and if not why not? Presumably because deep down you know that her life is not so great, her opportunities limited. Your parents are probably terrified of what the future holds for her when they are no longer here. I have to say that if I had such a child and their sibling harboured the feelings you do I would be devastated.

Learning difficulties which mean she is seven years behind her peers are not insignificant. You choose not to see the reality of them, your parents see all too clearly. I do feel sorry for you, but sorry that you lack the empathy and sisterly feeling for someone clearly much less fortunate than yourself, and hope that as a parent you never feel the angst that being torn between children must bring.