I resent my sister and feel so guilty

Bennifred

barbiedoll wrote: »

................. The more I read from OP, the more sinister the situation sounds. The sister has managed to ensure that OP has effectively been pushed out of their parent's lives to the extent that she can never go back home and any inheritance has been snatched from her too. No wonder she is resentful, I don't blame her!

I read this and thought - maybe the sister is a cuckoo?!

aliasojo

barbiedoll wrote: »

The violence against OP's pet is odd, even if the sister had a mental age of say, 5, how many 5 year olds would use a pair of scissors to blind an animal?

It doesn't work like that though. Having a younger mental age does not necessarily equate to only acting like a child of that age would. It's much more complex.

Personally I think you're well off the mark with this train of thought but of course we're all entitled to our own opinion.

Hanging_by_a_thread

aliasojo wrote: »

The replies mostly fall into two camps, the 'so what's happened has happened, tough, deal with it and man up' type and the 'completely understandable but maybe get counselling to help from here on in?' type.

There's also the harsher 'just having a go' type and the ' I wouldn't do that' type which can largely be ignored because these replies aren't really designed to help, they're just there to give the writer a chance to bump their gums. So I suggest you gloss over these ones.

aliasojo wrote: »

Personally I think you're well off the mark with this train of thought but of course we're all entitled to our own opinion.

:rotfl:

Oh dear aliasojo you do like to contradict yourself. One minute you are slagging other posters off for holding a view point you dont share and the next we're all entitled to our own opinion. So which is it?

mumps

Have you talked to your parents? I remember when I was about 14 telling my mother how much I resented my sister when I was little. She asked why and I said it was because of how she was favoured. My mother was puzzled and couldn't understand what I meant. I explained by showing her photos, there was my sister with a big bow in her hair, in all the photos, I never had a bow. I wanted the pretty ribbons, she had lots, they matched her clothes. My mother laughed at me and explained that my sister had the bow to compensate for having straight fine hair, why did I need a bow with my lovely thick curls? The world changed to a very different place in a moment.

aliasojo

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

:rotfl:

Oh dear aliasojo you do like to contradict yourself. One minute you are slagging other posters off for holding a view point you dont share and the next we're all entitled to our own opinion. So which is it?

Interesting interpretation of 'slagging off' you have there.

Advising the OP to only take parts of the advice she was offered and gloss over the rest isn't the same as 'slagging off' in my book.

And yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Being entitled doesn't mean I have to rate said opinion though.

Hanging_by_a_thread

Aliasojo you didn't just stop at advising the OP to gloss over some posters views. As your posts clearly show.

aliasojo

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

Aliasojo you didn't just stop at advising the OP to gloss over some posters views. As your posts clearly show.

I stated.....

There's also the harsher 'just having a go' type and the ' I wouldn't do that' type which can largely be ignored because these replies aren't really designed to help, they're just there to give the writer a chance to bump their gums. So I suggest you gloss over these ones.


People who post in this way are entitled to their opinion. At no point have I ever said otherwise.

My comment wasn't slagging them off, it was clearly stating that this type of opinion is not helpful and is only posted so the posted can 'bump their gums' , i.e. air their views.

Those posts didn't offer help, ergo they were unhelpful and best glossed over.

If that is what you feel is 'slagging off' then so be it. We shall have to agree to disagree.

And for the record, I'm not feeling particularly well tonight so I'm off for a bath now then I'm going to bed. (Just in case you reply again or anyone else joins in and then wonder why I haven't replied to you/other comments.)

make_me_wise

aliasojo wrote: »

I stated.....

There's also the harsher 'just having a go' type and the ' I wouldn't do that' type which can largely be ignored because these replies aren't really designed to help, they're just there to give the writer a chance to bump their gums. So I suggest you gloss over these ones.


People who post in this way are entitled to their opinion. At no point have I ever said otherwise.

I wonder if the OP needed you to tell her to ignore posts that you considered were not written to help. Just because those posts stated things the OP probably didn't want to hear or accept did not make the points raised in them unhelpful, irrelevant or any less valid.

poet123

make_me_wise wrote: »

I wonder if the OP needed you to tell her to ignore posts that you considered were not written to help. Just because those posts stated things the OP probably didn't want to hear or accept did not make the points raised in them unhelpful, irrelevant or any less valid.

I think that is a good point, posts can still be "helpful" even if they do not fall into the "pat on the back, yes, you are right" category.

duchy

barbiedoll wrote: »

Aliasojo: No, no, not at all, I'm well aware that many illnesses are undiagnosed or (more commonly) misdiagnosed, and I know that mental health issues are incredibly complicated and often don't fit into neat categories. It was just a suggestion, OP's sister doesn't seem to have much trouble functioning fairly normally in everyday life. She works, she has relationships, she can communicate with people, she doesn't sound like someone who needs 24hr care every day.

The pet incident troubled me, I know several people who have mental health issues, a friend of mine has a brother who is severely autistic and can be incredibly violent, although he doesn't understand what he is doing. But he will never be able to have a proper job, nor will he ever have a relationship in any meaningful sense. The violence against OP's pet is odd, even if the sister had a mental age of say, 5, how many 5 year olds would use a pair of scissors to blind an animal? (I know you wouldn't leave a small child with scissors and a pet, but you know what I mean). It just sounds like a wilful act, designed to hurt and upset, not something that would be accidental. But even if the sister was completely oblivious to the harm that she caused, I can understand why OP wouldn't forget something like that. And why she uses terms such as "hate" towards her sister.

Good grief do you talk out of your backside and are as offensive face to face as you are on the net ?
It's patently obvious you know nothing about mental illness and even more so provision for young adults with mental health issues . I nmost areas it is so inadequate as to be non existent -especially if there are parents willing and able to care -with zero regard for the impact that has either on the young person or their parents.