Bi-sexual teenager what's the rules?

McKneff

I get the impression from a lot of people that they think just because 2 people are gay or bisexual they are going to jump on each other. They can be friends just the same as straight people, whether male or female.

It doesnt happen all the time with heterosexual people, and it doesnt happen all the time with gay/bisexual people.

And in all honesty, i wouldnt be taking my 14 year old child's word that they are gay/bisexual either. Far too young to know for definite.

Danni-R

Have you asked her if the girl staying over is her gf? Its pretty simple. If she is then seperate rooms and if she says no then same room. It sounds like you have a fantastic relationship with your daughter so its unlikely she'll lie.

She's still underage and boys or girls its a bit young in my view to start having sex with anyone.

gibson123

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think keeping the doors open all night is fair on the girl staying over. When I was 14 there was no way I'd be happy sleeping at a friend's house with their parents and siblings around with the door wide open all night! If there's a dad or any male siblings in the house its definitely not appropriate.

No men about! and they had all better be well covered up, I wonder if you can padlock onesies closed!!:D:D

gibson123

Danni-R wrote: »

She's still underage and boys or girls its a bit young in my view to start having sex with anyone.

AGREE AGREE AGREE:beer:

bestpud

My eldest daughter is gay so we've discussed this a lot in our house!

She was over 16 by the time she decided she was definitely gay but her girlfriend at the time wasn't and I was uneasy about it. This girl hadn't told her parents so it was just a sleep over as far as they were concerned.

For us, that has been the worst part of having a gay daughter - other families aren't always as easy going as you and I!

We don't have a problem with whatever it is they get up to when both are over 16.

I wonder how things will be when our youngest is 16 and maybe wants guys to stay over though... I'd like to say it's the same but I don't know...

In the end, I've opted for keeping the dialogue going between us and going with the flow. Time will tell if that is the right decision.

I think we have to impose sone boundaries when they are underage but it comes down to trust really, doesn't it?

Keep talking and play it by ear - that's my advice.

gibson123

bestpud wrote: »

My eldest daughter is gay so we've discussed this a lot in our house!

She was over 16 by the time she decided she was definitely gay but her girlfriend at the time wasn't and I was uneasy about it. This girl hadn't told her parents so it was just a sleep over as far as they were concerned.

For us, that has been the worst part of having a gay daughter - other families aren't always as easy going as you and I!

We don't have a problem with whatever it is they get up to when both are over 16.

I wonder how things will be when our youngest is 16 and maybe wants guys to stay over though... I'd like to say it's the same but I don't know...

In the end, I've opted for keeping the dialogue going between us and going with the flow. Time will tell if that is the right decision.

I think we have to impose sone boundaries when they are underage but it comes down to trust really, doesn't it?

Keep talking and play it by ear - that's my advice.

Bestpud thank you.

Loz01

Is she in a relationship with any of the people that are planning on staying over? Sorry if this is naive but maybe because they're all connected by being in the LGBT community then maybe they just want to talk and feel a part of a group together, rather than all having sex? :rotfl: Obviously in the future she may have a gf, I guess then you will have to play it by ear, like bestpud says, tell her that its not about sexuality and you'd be the same if she liked boys as well, its about the fact she's underage. Though she sounds sensible enough and well done on keeping the lines of communication open!

Lozzy88

Okay so you and your daughter can talk openly with eachother (which is brilliant), so make it clear any sexual relations sould be once she's over 16 and in a relationship.

As for sleep overs I would personally allow male and female to sleep over as long as she has the message about sex I can't see it as being a issue, as where would you draw the line? No friends allowed in the bedroom at all or to leave the door open if someone just pops round to sit in a room listening to music, not allow friends in at all when there is not a parent home? I mean it just starts to get complicated.

My best friend that came out at 15lived next door to us and we carried on sleep overs always in the same bed there was never any problems apart from her wrapping her self up in the cover! But she was not allowed to have anyone but me sleep also her parents would basically say your not allowed to have sex full stop! which was a shame as IMO it really encoraged her to experiment with anyone that would let her, where as I did actually wait for a relationship which was my first proper one and lasted 2 years!

SUESMITH_2

op, you sound a really sorted family. dd has a few male gay friends, one of which has stayed over and shared a bed with her - i have no problem with that, he has no interest in her that way at all!

i think you just have to play it by ear tbh.

we have gay friends both male and female, most in very happy loving relationships so my kids have grown up with this as perfectly normal (which of course it is!).

and to the people who say at 14 she is too young to know her sexuality i would say get real! of course she is old enough

MK55

Hi,

Have just read through this, I'm a lad and let me tell all the people who have posted, about your daughter being un-sure, i knew i was gay from day dot. Literally form being 8 or 9 I knew, so I think your daughter will know who she is. Also good for her being confident for her age and who she is, some kids take this extremely hard. (I personally think this comes down to great parenting)

When I told my mum she was always fine with it and treated me as an adult and when she needed to tell me boundaries she did. I would give her space but within reason, as you see fit, you have to trust your daughter or as others have said she will find other ways.

Now you just have to wait and see if she shaves half of her hair off )) (only joking)

best of luck!