Bi-sexual teenager what's the rules?

Person_one

gibson123 wrote: »

Oh no, the main issue is having sex before she is emotionally ready for a sexual relationship, no matter what the gender of the partner. Although pregnancy was the last thing from my mind, we have had the talks about pregnancy etc.

It sounds like you've already dealt with that though, she sounds unusually mature for her age. Creating physical barriers to sexual activity isn't terribly effective, they'll find a way if they want to!

gibson123

Judi wrote: »

We took our daughter and her 'girlfriend' on holiday with us once. They shared a double bed. Yes we found it a bit strange but tried to look at it as they were just friends having to share the same bed.

Our sons girlfriend is coming to stay over Easter. That is becoming a bit of a battle for me at the moment as he is 17 and she is a few months short of her 16th birthday. No way will they be sharing a bed!

Judi what age was your daughter and friend, were they a good bit older? I don't find same sex couples strange, but I suppose if it is your own this may feel different, trying to think how I would feel about my daughter sharing with a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Anyone know where I can buy an ivory tower?

gibson123

Lifeforms what a lovely thoughtful post thanks, I often have her older cousins and their friends over and this is a rule we sort of inherited from my parents, it seems to be a rule used by all my siblings with their kids. We have talked at length about this, and she says she does want friends to stay, and she actually asked whether it would theoretically be ok for her to have her gay male friend to stay over as "nothing would ever happen".

19lottie82

flutterby_lil wrote: »

No advice, but wow, how does she know this at 14? Seems very early to me to know she likes girls. Is she sexually active?

That's pretty ignorant.

By your username, I'm guessing you're a female (and straight)...... Did you know you fancied boys at 14?

I'm hetro and can remember "fancying" boys from the age of 7, and kissed one at the age of 11. Is that equally as wierd or unbelievable?

Tenyearstogo

flutterby_lil wrote: »

No advice, but wow, how does she know this at 14? Seems very early to me to know she likes girls. Is she sexually active?

So she can know she likes boys at 14 but not that she likes girls? No logic there.

I'd say you have to have the same rule for everyone, so they could sleep over but in separate rooms.

However, I'd use my judgement and have a bit of trust. I'm straight but had a really good male friend as a teenager. We shared rooms because I knew, and my parents knew he was just a friend. They could tell by the we interacted and talked. He was like a brother.

I hope I've helped, she sounds like a very sensible girl.

gibson123

Person_one wrote: »

It sounds like you've already dealt with that though, she sounds unusually mature for her age. Creating physical barriers to sexual activity isn't terribly effective, they'll find a way if they want to!

In some ways she is, she is knowledgable and intelligent, will talk things through and also very fair-minded. She has quite adult views. But in many ways she is still a kid and like most 14 year old, can be very adult one minute and very child-like the next. Totally agree about the physical barrier thing, I do trust her, but I think there is lots of peer pressure and if there are fair and easily understood rules, there is always the Mum Barrier. of "My Mum is strict about that, it's not going to happen".

thorsoak

What about just saying NO SEX - she is 14 !!!!!!!!

Surely teaching abstinence is equally important - casual sex should surely not be encouraged??

gibson123

19lottie82 wrote: »

That's pretty ignorant.

By your username, I'm guessing you're a female (and straight)...... Did you know you fancied boys at 14?

I'm hetro and can remember "fancying" boys from the age of 7, and kissed one at the age of 11. Is that equally as wierd or unbelievable?

Lottie please be nice!:cool: I would like this thread to remain nice and open-minded with no name calling. :T

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

What about just saying NO SEX - she is 14 !!!!!!!!

Surely teaching abstinence is equally important - casual sex should surely not be encouraged??

Woah, deep breaths! Who's encouraging casual sex?

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending you can just tell hormonal teenagers 'don't do that' and have done your job is irresponsible though.

gibson123

thorsoak wrote: »

What about just saying NO SEX - she is 14 !!!!!!!!

Surely teaching abstinence is equally important - casual sex should surely not be encouraged??

:eek:I am fairly sure that this rule is very firmly understood in my family.