seperated....holidays with kids

janninew

peachyprice wrote: »

I don't understand the 'too soon' comments, their dad, their grandmother and aunties haven't suddenly become strangers because their parents have separated, they have been there all their lives, how can it be 'too soon' to spend time with family?

Too soon perhaps for the mother to come to terms with the fact that life will go on regardless, but certainly not too soon for children to spend time with a parent that has been present all their lives.

I wondered about the 'too soon' comments as well! We don't know when the holiday is, possibly during the summer holidays so not for a good 5/6 months yet, plenty of time to build up to having 2 weeks away from Mum. Really though it does depend on the kids relationship with their Dad, I don't think mum missing them is a good enough reason not to let them go though.

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

Surely its kinder to gradually build up the time they spend away from mum so its easier on them rather than expecting them to do two weeks all in one go straight away? I was 17 before I spent that long away from either of my parents!

Wow, 17, really!

I went on holiday throughout my whole childhood with my Nan and stayed with her regularly in the school holidays. I can't ever remember pining for either of my parents.

At the ages of the children OP is referring to my children had been on holiday with me but not thier dad, without either of us, and we'd been on holiday without them while they'd stayed with grandparents, all with no upset whatsoever.

Perhaps these children are used to being away from one or both of their parents too.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

Wow, 17, really!

Actually, it was 16, my mistake.

I spent a week at a time away fairly regularly from being about 8, but not a full fortnight until I went away with my first boyfriend's family after GCSEs.

Is that really 'wow' worthy if your parents aren't separated?

claire16c

Me & my Sister used to spend a week with my grandparents in the summer from that age, my sister was left with them for a week when she was 1 when we went abroad. My DH used to spend months away from his Dad as he was in the army so no choice for kids like that. So I guess it's what you're used to.

Perhaps 1 week might be a better compromise if they're not used to being away from mum yet.

meer53

Young children are fine, wherever they are, as long as one of their parents is there. As well as having no concept of distance, they have no concept of time either. 2 weeks with their Daddy and Aunties and Grandparents (and Mickey Mouse !) is hardly going to be traumatic for them is it ? It will be a huge adventure, they'll have a fabulous time and their Mum needs to look at it this way instead of focusing on how she will feel.

janninew

peachyprice wrote: »

Wow, 17, really!

I went on holiday throughout my whole childhood with my Nan and stayed with her regularly in the school holidays. I can't ever remember pining for either of my parents.

At the ages of the children OP is referring to my children had been on holiday with me but not thier dad, without either of us, and we'd been on holiday without them while they'd stayed with grandparents, all with no upset whatsoever.

Perhaps these children are used to being away from one or both of their parents too.

I remember being left (with fond memories might I add) with my Grandparents when I was around 9 years old whilst my parents went on a cruise around the med for my Mums 40th Birthday. They were away for 14 days and me and my siblings (younger and older) managed fine!

balletshoes

I,m another who doesnt, in the circs described for these kids, see the problem with dad taking them on a family holiday for 2 weeks. he is their attendant parent for about half of each week. It would be different if the kids didnt spend so much time with him, at their young age.

FatVonD

Some kids of three get upset being left at nursery for the first time by their primary care giver (however 'close' they are to the other parent or extended family.) I'm assuming that, since the dad has them at weekends, he works during the week and the mum has been the primary care giver (since OP's 'friend' isn't here to enlighten us whether that is the case) and I think that two weeks away from the primary care giver is too long at three years old.

I think it's the dad that's being difficult, not the mum, particularly springing the news on her so soon after the split (regardless of departure date.)

travelgran

To go back to the original question about the legality of one parent taking a child abroad, a quick trawl of the Internet throws up a solicitor's site which says that when both parents have parental responsibility, the travelling parent needs a consent letter from the other. However if one parent has a residency order from the court that parent may take the child abroad for up to a month without such a letter.

Can anyone quote 'chapter and verse' on this?

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

Is that really 'wow' worthy if your parents aren't separated?

No, it was 'wow' worthy when you said you'd not spent that time away from either parent until you were 17, I thought that was that quite old Nothing to do with whether or not your parents are separated, mine aren't either.