seperated....holidays with kids

Marshflower

As others have said,
It really is totally dependant on this particular situation. How long have they been separated? Has it been a recent disruption or has the dust settled? How often does Dad have his kids? Has he taken them away for any length of time before? If they have been separated a while and Dad just has them for the odd night here and there, how familiar is he with their longer term needs? How comfortable are the kids with Dad?
I have a three year old, I cannot imagine being separated from her for two weeks but ultimately if (god forbid) her Dad and I were to split I would just have to accept it as one of the new “challenges” separation would bring. Her Dad is about the only person I would trust to take her on holiday for any length of time. I would be very uncomfortable from a personal perspective about it being so far away in case anything happened, as I think it is natural for any parent to experience anxiety about being that physically far from their offspring. Assuming the dust has settled on the separation, Dad sees the kids regularly and is familiar with their needs and they are happy with him (a lot of assuming!) I think a compromise would be to have the kids for a fortnight but pick somewhere a little closer to home if it’s for the first “long” period of time/holiday Dad has had them for. It’s all a bit much all in one go to travel thousands of miles, plus, if he waits a couple of years then the younger child will get as much out of it as the older one. I think, whilst there is lots there for a 3 yr old, it’s really better for slightly older kids and is such an expense that it might be better spent when he/she is of a more appreciative age.

Brighton_belle

pigpen wrote: »

Denying them a possible once in a lifetime opportunity is spiteful.

I don't think there is any such thing as 'a trip of a lifetime' for a 3 year old. They would barely remember it.

pigpen

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I don't think there is any such thing as 'a trip of a lifetime' for a 3 year old. They would barely remember it.

I said once in a lifetime not tripof a lifetime.. not the same thing at all.

FBaby wrote: »

How would you know that? I know that my 3yo would have hated going away with his dad to a foreign country for 2 weeks away from me. At 10, he would be over the moon though!

how do you know he wouldn't? Mine would have missed me but they would enjoy the time with their dad.. at 10 they would hate it because they realise how horrid he is by then and don't want to see him.

sandraroffey

when my sister in law took her youngest to mexico for 6 weeks, my brother had to see a judge and say he allowed her to be taken out of the country.

on the subject of being away from mum for a couple of weeks, my twin grandsons are often at their dads, away from mum, for long weekends, weeks during the school hols and weeks away on holiday with their dad. always in the UK though....

i appreciate that they are 8 now, but this has been happening since they were about 3 and they love it. completely different way of life with dads side of the family. doing different things to what they would do at home with mum. maybe try a holiday in UK for the time being. not to far to get them back home if they get really homesick. a week at butlins or in a caravan is perfect for kids.

FBaby

pigpen wrote: »

how do you know he wouldn't? Mine would have missed me but they would enjoy the time with their dad.. at 10 they would hate it because they realise how horrid he is by then and don't want to see him.

I didn't say I wouldn't, I said it is a possibility that he wouldn't. You seem to have made up your mind that the child would have a great time and that the pwc is just being jealous and problematic, even though there is nothing in the OP statement that indicates that is definitely the case. What I was saying was that it could be, but there could be other reasons, valid or not, for her having an issue with it.

pigpen

FBaby wrote: »

I didn't say I wouldn't, I said it is a possibility that he wouldn't. You seem to have made up your mind that the child would have a great time and that the pwc is just being jealous and problematic, even though there is nothing in the OP statement that indicates that is definitely the case. What I was saying was that it could be, but there could be other reasons, valid or not, for her having an issue with it.

Maybe that is due to you basing your opinion on your experiences and me on mine.. which surely is how these things work and the op decides what is most relevant to their situation.. it came across you were just saying I was wrong and you were right.. but not to worry .. we can both be right.. or both wrong

As a parent you have to believe your child would have a great time or you'd never let them do anything or go anywhere and life would bev very boring for them and you use that experience to know better next time. It is a new experience for the child and the parents.. each can learn something valuable.

But it does sound to me like the pwc is being a knob.

loracan1

I wouldn't have wanted my kids to go away with their dad for two weeks at such young ages - I'd welcome it now though!

FBaby

It all comes down with reasonable attitude on both sides, something that many separated parents fail to remember. We don't know in this case who is or isn't reasonable, or both.

flower24

Surely it depends on the children and what they are used to, I.e. how long they are used to spending away from their mother? I know for a fact my kids would hate to be away from me for that long, but some children are used to it. The distance would bother me too, Florida is so far away, if there was an emergency it'd take the mother hours and hours to get there (yes I'm a worrier!!) Could you possibly take them somewhere nearer?

broonbear

I only started out asking if it was against the law and the thread has snowballed a bit, but that's fine . The father sees his kids a couple of times a week and has them Friday to Sunday night . the Florida holiday would include 2 auntys and 2 grandparents. the 8 year old went to Florida when he was 3 and a half and can still remember going. They split just after xmas.