seperated....holidays with kids

broonbear

jayII wrote: »

How many Friday to Sunday nights? Monthly, weekly?

Is the 3 year old desperate to get back to mum on Sunday or perfectly content with dad?

Once a month and the little one (or both children) pining for mum by Sunday, is very different from once a month (or more) and the little one perfectly happy with dad.

So much depends on the child(ren) and their relationship with their dad.

Every Friday , and both kids aren't desperate to get back to mum, they are a pair of 'daddies boys '. I know the boys would love to go and they're are so many distractions they wouldn't be crying for mum they would miss her at times but with alot of family around they would cope no problem. The food and weather isn't a problem either the older members go every year so have lots of expierence of what to do.

jayII

broonbear wrote: »

Every Friday , and both kids aren't desperate to get back to mum, they are a pair of 'daddies boys '. I know the boys would love to go and they're are so many distractions they wouldn't be crying for mum they would miss her at times but with alot of family around they would cope no problem. The food and weather isn't a problem either the older members go every year so have lots of expierence of what to do.

So then the children have presumably gone before with both mum and dad together and dad knows exactly how his children respond to the heat, mosquitoes, etc?

I still can't see why it's not possible for the NRP to sit down with the RP, or at the very least listen to the RP's concerns and discuss a compromise. Not wanting to worry/cause anxiety to your children's other parent seems to be simple human kindness and consideration to me.

meer53

I took my 3 year old daughter to Florida with her 15 year old brother just after i had split from my ex. He didn't object and i've never objected when he's taken her away for 2 weeks either.

It does sound to me that the ex wife is just being awkward, she should think about her children and whats best for them. Florida is a fantastic place to take children on holiday. There's lots for little kids to do, i don't know what person-one means about "terrible food" ?? I've never had terrible food in Florida, far from it in fact. Disney and Universal cater for all ages, i'm sure the children will have a fantastic time, their Mum should bite her tongue and let them go.

Yes, it's tough seeing your little child going off on holiday without you, i've been there and it hurts a lot, but it would never have crossed my mind to stop her going.

claire16c

If extended family is going & the kids have regular contact with their dad then perhaps it won't be such an issue. When is the holiday being planned for? As if its not til the summer then that's a while off anyway.

jenhug

My friends ex husband took their child to disney for 3 weeks aged 5. Even though my friend was concerned he played the bitter ex card so she let him take her. 5 years on she still won't stay at his for more than one night now as she was so upset at being so far from her mum.

Spendless

I took my daughter to Florida when she was 2.5. She loved the holiday and so did we, no she can't remember it, but we can and have the photos. It wasn't an unsuitable holiday. She wasn't walked round all day and stuck in queues, she was in a pushchair, which are available to hire in the parks if you don't take your own! Nor did she suffer from jet-lag as a child will just sleep whenever, they don't take into account that they are now 5 hours different to when they set off. The adults might need help with that on their return, if they have missed a night's sleep, but if she's going back to mums on their return having slept thru the night on the plane, then it shouldn't cause too much or any problems. The only thing I would say, which has been mentioned earlier is the height restrictions on rides. One park was better than others, but I can't remember if that was Universal or Disney. it didn't matter to us because DD being under 3 we had not had to pay for theme park tickets, but it would be something I'd check out before going ahead.

FatVonD

Too soon, too far, I wouldn't be letting them go either.

I think the suggestion earlier of 2 or 3 days in DL Paris followed by a beach holiday in the UK is an excellent one.

meer53

FatVonD wrote: »

Too soon, too far, I wouldn't be letting them go either.

I think the suggestion earlier of 2 or 3 days in DL Paris followed by a beach holiday in the UK is an excellent one.

The OP hasn't said when the holiday is, so how can you say it's too soon ?

Little kids have no concept of distance, they won't know whether they're in France or Florida, plus the OP says they're quite happy spending time away from their Mum and aren't in a rush to get back as they're Daddy's boys. The mother is saying SHE will miss them and that SHE will be worried, still sounds to me like she's just being awkward, and selfish.

peachyprice

FatVonD wrote: »

Too soon, too far, I wouldn't be letting them go either.

I don't understand the 'too soon' comments, their dad, their grandmother and aunties haven't suddenly become strangers because their parents have separated, they have been there all their lives, how can it be 'too soon' to spend time with family?

Too soon perhaps for the mother to come to terms with the fact that life will go on regardless, but certainly not too soon for children to spend time with a parent that has been present all their lives.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

I don't understand the 'too soon' comments, their dad, their grandmother and aunties haven't suddenly become strangers because their parents have separated, they have been there all their lives, how can it be 'too soon' to spend time with family?

Too soon perhaps for the mother to come to terms with the fact that life will go on regardless, but certainly not too soon for children to spend time with a parent that has been present all their lives.

I'd be surprised if they'd spent a solid two weeks with that side of their family and away from their mum though.

I'm thinking of my nearly three year old nephew in relation to this, although his parents are very much together. He spends a lot of time with his dad's side of the family and will happily spend a couple of days with us and be completely comfortable, but two weeks without his mum would be very very distressing for him, no matter how many Disney characters he saw!

Surely its kinder to gradually build up the time they spend away from mum so its easier on them rather than expecting them to do two weeks all in one go straight away? I was 17 before I spent that long away from either of my parents!