So say you were getting married..

VestanPance

Person_one wrote: »

Whatever they want?

This mantra is getting out of control, you only have to look at recent threads about weddings to see that people are taking it far too literally!

It's not really. It is their day and they should do exactly what they want.

In doing so you do have to accept that certain guests may decline your invitation though and be ready and willing to accept that.

securityguy

VestanPance wrote: »

It's not really. It is their day and they should do exactly what they want.

In doing so you do have to accept that certain guests may decline your invitation though and be ready and willing to accept that.

Unfortunately, a lot of couples want to do exactly what they want, and then whine when invitees decline the offer.

VestanPance

securityguy wrote: »

Unfortunately, a lot of couples want to do exactly what they want, and then whine when invitees decline the offer.

Well that's their problem. People need to be honest enough with themselves to know that as they set certain aspects of the day to their own ways then it may stop people attending, be that no children allowed, no booze, vegetarian only meals, formal dress only, informal dress only, travel requirements etc.

I do believe people should do what they want. It's their day to celebrate their union, but if you tailor the day to be out-with what are seen as typical social conventions then you have to be open to the fact it will stop some from attending for what ever reason.

Idiophreak

NAR wrote: »

Why? Whose wedding is it?

I think that question is pretty much the crux of the matter...as far as I can see, there are two options:

1) It's your wedding. Do what you want. You're princess for a day, everyone should bow to your desire. If you don't want to be around drunk people, nobody can drink just in case someone goes OTT.

2) You appreciate the effort your guests will have gone to to attend your wedding and want them to have a good time. If that means them having a few drinks, sobeit. You just have to hope nobody takes things too far.

I know that sounds a bit one sided, but I don't mean it to - it's literally the choice you have to make...what's more important to you? Your enjoyment of your day, or your guests' enjoyment?

Stephb1986_2

My fiance and I are pretty much tee total but we will still be having some alcohol at our wedding next year. I think our guests have the sense to make their own decision as to if they want to drink alcohol or not

Steph xx

Gloomendoom

Girlzmum wrote: »

It is your wedding day and you must do whatever you and your future husband want!

VestanPance wrote: »

It's not really. It is their day and they should do exactly what they want.

What nonsense! The bride and groom are the hosts. They should act like good hosts and put their guests first.

FBaby

Idiophreak wrote: »

I think that question is pretty much the crux of the matter...as far as I can see, there are two options:

1) It's your wedding. Do what you want. You're princess for a day, everyone should bow to your desire. If you don't want to be around drunk people, nobody can drink just in case someone goes OTT.

2) You appreciate the effort your guests will have gone to to attend your wedding and want them to have a good time. If that means them having a few drinks, sobeit. You just have to hope nobody takes things too far.

I know that sounds a bit one sided, but I don't mean it to - it's literally the choice you have to make...what's more important to you? Your enjoyment of your day, or your guests' enjoyment?

Totally agree with this.

mixenvixen

Actually I change my mind. I really don't think you are doing enough by buying everyone lunch, entertainment and having the ceremony. I think you really need to stop being so selfish and provide a 5 course meal, cheese board, free bar, chocolate fountain, live band, present for each guest, their hotel rooms, transportation, singing waiters, photo booth and 5 different bands to cover a range of music tastes. Otherwise, really what is the point in the day? Why should anyone bother coming? Stop being a bridezilla and get out some sort of bank loan. Or use some other board, what did you think this was? Some kind of money saving board?

StevenMarks

Mojisola wrote: »

If you have such a restricted diet, don't you have to make special arrangements whenever you eat out? Friends who have to eat gluten-free do this and most places are able to accommodate their requirements.

I don't think serving a veggie or vegan a meal containing meat is the same thing at all. Omnivores are happy to eat all sorts of things - they don't have to have all types of food at every meal.

It's possible to make a veggie or vegan meal that would be enjoyed by omnivores.

My diet is actually a little wider than my original comment made it sound but not by much (I do eat some fish and other stuff but don't like spicy food or pasta).

The only places I struggle to get something to eat are curry houses. Everywhere else I have eaten has had something I can eat.

There is no difference between a vegetarian refusing to eat meat and a meat eater refusing to eat vegetables they don't like. The omnivore argument works both ways as a vegetarian is an omnivore who has decided not to eat meat.

With regards to a dry wedding (to come back on topic) I wouldn't have a problem as long as I knew in advance. Before paying hotel prices for pop I need advanced warning so I can prepare for the strong feeling that I've been robbed after paying (or have some cans of coke in the car and pop out now and again for a drink).

Gloomendoom

mixenvixen wrote: »

Actually I change my mind. I really don't think you are doing enough by buying everyone lunch, entertainment and having the ceremony. I think you really need to stop being so selfish and provide a 5 course meal, cheese board, free bar, chocolate fountain, live band, present for each guest, their hotel rooms, transportation, singing waiters, photo booth and 5 different bands to cover a range of music tastes. Otherwise, really what is the point in the day? Why should anyone bother coming? Stop being a bridezilla and get out some sort of bank loan. Or use some other board, what did you think this was? Some kind of money saving board?

That is a bit extreme!

I think what some people (including me) are saying is that a wedding isn't all about me, me, me, me or even us, us, us.

If you have a limited budget, perhaps it would be more appropriate to spend a bit more on your guests welfare rather than on the wedding dress, or outfits for bridesmaids, for example.

That's what we had to do. My wife's wedding dress was 'only' £200 and I wore a suit I already owned. The bulk of the budget went on the party.

Not that this has much to do with the OP's original question.