MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

IHateDida

Claree__x wrote: »

I have, amazingly, managed to sort the washing, put another one in & hung up and put all Eilis' presents away. Oh and dinner is on. I'm very proud of myself....and hoping I can have a bath tonight due to all my brownie points

Yey! :T Well done! You've done more than me....and the OH is here looking after LO!!!!;)

I am going to make my Xmas cake (and one for a relative) when LO goes to bed (16 minutes and still counting!).....she'd better stay asleep....!!!:D

Lao cat - yes - shower is an effort - I am hoping I am not the only one who gets to midday only to remember I haven't brushed my teeth! LOL!

Bangton

It's a week since I had time to post but wanted to thank everyone for replying and putting my mind at ease with how I was feeling. Huge thanks to Katiechoc for your PM too...I'll reply back when I have more time but that was lovely and thank you.

I thought last week I was bordering on PND. Spoke with HV and she told me to go to docs who felt it was the poor health since birth and not PND that was making me feel so blue. Unfortunately a few things went wrong during mine but I had a debrief on Thursday and that cleared some of the anxieties I felt about that - my labour was traumatic but I didn't realise how traumatised I felt. I also had no idea what had happened to baby when he was born as I was under general anaesthetic and that had bothered me. Turns out he was floppy and needed air himself when born so perhaps it was best I never witnessed that anyway!

Anyhow since last week I've been working on ways to stop myself feeling like I am just muddling through. I worked really long hours before maternity and I've found the transition from an easier day at work to home with a baby (I'm not sure I understand) really really hard! I do find it easier when I have things to break up the day so I'm going to NCT classes, helping an elderly lady with her shopping and appointments (which I can do with a baby), buggymovers and my mum, sister and SIL only work part time so I have them too. It still leaves me with days at
home but I have enough to do to stop me going insane.

So I feel more positive but I'm not sure I'll be winning mother of year awards any day soon!

Claree-x - I so feel for you and know where your coming from with FIL. I was feeling that way when my mum and sister came. They handle him so well and even when he cries they are totally unflappable.

One thing I don't get and wonder if anyone could help me with. I think I'm messing up big time. My baby only sleeps when we go out - either in his pram or car seat. Now this is a problem because I think I'm mistaking hunger cues for tiredness. He's 6 weeks and I should know this but how an earth do you know if your baby is tired or hungry? Until 3.5 weeks he was falling asleep after each bottle and I could put him down for a nap and he's just sleep but since then he's more awake and alert but he does get cranky but (this is how carp I am) I assumed if he was tired he'd sleep!!! So I always feed him when he cries and have now noticed he's having little top ups around bigger feeds (that are close to 3hrs apart) and then spitting up alot. He is sleeping pretty much through night (5hr stretch, waking for a feed and then another 3 or 4 hours) but other people seem to coax their babies to sleep in day and I don't!!! I just assume he isn't tired! At night we bath him, give him a bottle and put him in sleeping bag and he falls asleep on us without any effort

fluffnutter

Bangton wrote: »

One thing I don't get and wonder if anyone could help me with. I think I'm messing up big time. My baby only sleeps when we go out - either in his pram or car seat. Now this is a problem because I think I'm mistaking hunger cues for tiredness. He's 6 weeks and I should know this but how an earth do you know if your baby is tired or hungry? Until 3.5 weeks he was falling asleep after each bottle and I could put him down for a nap and he's just sleep but since then he's more awake and alert but he does get cranky but (this is how carp I am) I assumed if he was tired he'd sleep!!! So I always feed him when he cries and have now noticed he's having little top ups around bigger feeds (that are close to 3hrs apart) and then spitting up alot. He is sleeping pretty much through night (5hr stretch, waking for a feed and then another 3 or 4 hours) but other people seem to coax their babies to sleep in day and I don't!!! I just assume he isn't tired! At night we bath him, give him a bottle and put him in sleeping bag and he falls asleep on us without any effort

None of this sounds unusual and you're certainly not messing up. TBH it is difficult to know why a small baby is crying and my personal way of dealing with it was always to offer food. Spitting up is normal and doesn't mean he's too full and babies often feed far more frequently than 3 hours so don't think a 3 hour gap is short (it's not).

There's a massive growth spurt around six weeks and I'll bet any money that your baby's hungry when he cries. I think it's always best to offer a small baby food if it's crying.

It's also totally normal for a baby that age to only sleep if out and about - it's the movement. My baby didn't start napping during the day in his cot (as opposed to pram or car seat) until about 10 months.

It sounds like you're doing everything right sweetheart. Keep feeding him x.

*Nutella*

Bangton wrote: »

He's 6 weeks and I should know this but how on earth do you know if your baby is tired or hungry? Until 3.5 weeks he was falling asleep after each bottle and I could put him down for a nap and he's just sleep but since then he's more awake and alert but he does get cranky but (this is how carp I am) I assumed if he was tired he'd sleep!!! So I always feed him when he cries and have now noticed he's having little top ups around bigger feeds (that are close to 3hrs apart) and then spitting up alot. He is sleeping pretty much through night (5hr stretch, waking for a feed and then another 3 or 4 hours) but other people seem to coax their babies to sleep in day and I don't!!! I just assume he isn't tired! At night we bath him, give him a bottle and put him in sleeping bag and he falls asleep on us without any effort

That's a tricky question, and one we've all battled with at some point You're approaching the point at which you'll be able to tell the difference between a hunger cry and a tiredness cry (at least sometimes), but until then, there's a bit of guesswork involved I'm afraid. If he's only having little top-ups and is spitting milk out, then my guess would be that he probably isn't hungry, but I'd always try offering milk anyway.

My LO was at least three, maybe four, months old before she'd nap anywhere but in the buggy or on me/OH. I went for walks every day with her just to get her to nap. As a general rule, she'd be able to happily stay awake for a maximum of three hours - then she'd get tired and I'd sit down with her (singing and rocking) or take her out for a walk. But what worked for us doesn't necessarily work for everyone else.... Don't assume that he'll sleep if he's tired though - babies aren't as sensible as that. And sometimes they just want to be held and cuddled

IHateDida

Bangton wrote: »

One thing I don't get and wonder if anyone could help me with. I think I'm messing up big time. My baby only sleeps when we go out - either in his pram or car seat. Now this is a problem because I think I'm mistaking hunger cues for tiredness. He's 6 weeks and I should know this but how an earth do you know if your baby is tired or hungry?

Bless you - don't beat yourself up about not knowing. At 6 weeks - I had no idea as to what LO needed when she cried (and even now, at 5 months, don't always get it right!) - so you just go through the list; food, sleep, cuddles, play, outing in the pram etc.. until you manage to get it right (or not - its all hit and miss!). I used to shove a bottle in her mouth (and still do!) and she just ended up spitting it all out! (now she starts blowing it everywhere when she doesn't want it!).

You will start to understand the cries a bit more as time goes on....this didn't happen to me until she was about 12 weeks old - the cries differ and baby also tells you things in other ways. For example, now LO will rub her eyes when she is tired (she never did this in the early weeks - just cried), and will have a kind of half cry/half hyper-giggle when she is hungry. So don't worry - you are doing fine - you will start recognising the differences in LO's behaviour and cries soon. But until then, you just have to go through the "list"! I always thought people were on another planet when they said that babies cries differ as LO's all sounded the same - but you grow to understand, and also LO will start using other ways to let you know (and as the routines start appearing - this will also help give you a clue). The most important thing is not to worry!

I have made my Christmas cakes - yehay - they are cooking right now! Maybe I am a domestic goddess after all!

The funniest thing happened tonight - LO loves her bath and I left OH bathing her - he wondered what she would do if he threw her little sponge at her in the bath (this is clearly a blokey thing - I would never have dreamt about doing this !). Well.....I have never heard her laugh and squeal so much in my life - she thought it was hilarious to have the wet sponge thrown at her face (gently by the way - and the sponge is tiny!). Stuff like this really brings a glow to your heart doesn't it!:)

Saffagal

fluffnutter wrote: »

None of this sounds unusual and you're certainly not messing up.

It sounds like you're doing everything right sweetheart. Keep feeding him x.

Bangton I second what fluff said above. A is 6 1/2 months and if we're home, during the day, she'll only sleep if I'm holding her or she's in the sling - somedays I plan to go out on an (almost) unnecessary errand so that she will definitely have a nap because she gets grumpy if she doesn't have one. If she is grumpy though, I always offer food in the first instance.

You're doing a brilliant job; and Well Done on helping an elderly lady as well as adjusting to motherhood - that's more than I could have handled when A was as young as your LO! :T

*Nutella*

IHateDida wrote: »

The funniest thing happened tonight - LO loves her bath and I left OH bathing her - he wondered what she would do if he threw her little sponge at her in the bath (this is clearly a blokey thing - I would never have dreamt about doing this !). Well.....I have never heard her laugh and squeal so much in my life - she thought it was hilarious to have the wet sponge thrown at her face (gently by the way - and the sponge is tiny!). Stuff like this really brings a glow to your heart doesn't it!:)

and :rotfl:Yes, definitely a bloke thing, but lovely nonetheless!

Big hugs to everyone who's had a tough day x

Saffagal

:T Well done IHateDida and Claree on your domestic goddess achievements today

Oh yes, and despite a good night, it was half 11 before I managed to brush my teeth this morning

IHateDida

Saffagal wrote: »

Oh yes, and despite a good night, it was half 11 before I managed to brush my teeth this morning

Wehay! :T With that, and the fact that I now know others eat nutella directly out of the jar with a spoon (cold and chewy from the fridge preferably!), I must be normal! :rotfl:

fluffnutter

IHateDida wrote: »

Wehay! :T With that, and the fact that I now know others eat nutella directly out of the jar with a spoon (cold and chewy from the fridge preferably!), I must be normal! :rotfl:

That's not normal for crying out loud! Normal is using your finger!