MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Oscar_the_Pug

I really should know better than to say that I am coping better! LO has been screamy for the past 2 days. I think it is trapped wind in her tummy but she's not getting much relief with infacol or gripe water. Only OH's big manly back slaps seem to work, sadly he works so I can't have that help during the day. I will be gutted if there is no improvement next week when she reaches the magic 12 weeks!

Any words of wisdom?

cleofish

Hi everyone, just thought I would pop over to this board and introduce myself.

Had my little one on the 6/10 so she is coming up to 3 weeks already this weekend, cant believe it!

Not the best labour, I think I must have been having slow labour for a couple of days before hand but my waters broke on the saturday and they had booked me in to be induced on the sunday morning because of the risk of infection going over 24 hours since water breaking. I had contractions after my waters had broken but they tailed off despite everything I did to get them going again, I really didnt want to be induced.

Arrived on the sunday already 3 cms and I highly recommend the tens machine! I had the pessary to start me off as contractions on my own werent regular enough, but I found that uncontrollable and it was just one contraction on top of another and despite me wanting to try just gas and air this was not enough. I was on the anenatal ward at this time and i think they were surprised how quickly it had progressed, so they managed to give me a few puffs of gas and air but they didnt have anything stronger down there and i had to be taken quickly up to labour ward.

I think I had the gas and air and then 10 mins later i was asking for the pethadine (I think thats the one via the drip and button?). Nothing really went as I imagined or wanted it to go, but I wasnt naive enough to think it would. I never got to try the active birthing positions like kneeing to help delivery I was basically on my back strapped to a monitor after being told the iv would make my legs unstable.
It took me over an hour of pushing and I have to admit I lost my head a bit, it was just so painful despite the pain relief, they wouldnt allow an epidural as they said I wouldnt be able to keep still enough and by that time it had gone too far, I remember hearing that the pethdine had run out so for the last bit it was just gas and air and I remember thinking at the time, it must have been a placebo effect and they must have turned it off without me knowing!
It ended up my legs being strapped to stirups and they got her out using the cap and cutting me, the first cap flew off and they had to try again, it would have been funny seeing the cap hit the doctor if I wasnt in so much pain.
I just remember so much relief when the head came out and then it felt like 1 push and out came a slimy fish! little one was born with the cord around her neck but all was ok with her.

I lost quite a bit of blood and it was touch and go whether they would need to take me in to theatre to stop it, but thankfully they eventually did.

We had no skin to skin because of my loss of blood and trying to fix that and I just remember feeling really detached where I imagined I would be emotional and so happy.

Because I had problems during delivery and my temperature shoot up, they treated me and little one for an infection, but because she needed iv antibiotics it meant that we needed to stay in hospital for the whole 5 day course, that coupled with not being to hold her properly,( her arm was splinted up to stop the iv falling out) and bf not working out, (my hospital approach was basically grab my boob and stuff it in my screaming little ones mouth)made staying in hospital so so hard.

I read your post bangton and I feel exactly the same, I had never held a baby before now and suddenly I didnt know what to do, I was transferred onto post natal ward 5am and oh was told to leave straight away so there I was still recovering from labour with a baby in a crib next to me not knowing how or when to feed her!

So she is 3 weeks this weekend but it feels like the hospital 'stole' 1 week so its only 2 weeks that we have been trying to get to know one another. I feel so much different to her now, I look at her and cant believe we made this 'perfect doll'.

Its not all rosy here though, she seems to get her day and night mixed up so im up nearly 2/2.5 hours for feeding but its not just the time to feed her its the nappy change, winding and nursing her to get her back down again that takes so long.
We also had a bit of trouble with colic/badly trapped wind I think but that seems to have clamed down but shes feeding nearly all the time, one bottle just leads into another!

Sorry for the long post but it kinda feels good to get it all down.

So hopefully you ladies will be able to give any advice and if I can help out anyone I will.

What were the things that you found invaluable or things that you did in the first weeks that made it more bearable?
I keep hearing things will settle down in a few weeks but that just seems so far away right now when im in the middle of it all.

minimuffin12

Hi oscar, did you ty putting lo across your knee in her tummy? My lo would burp when we do that or set him on his change mat on his tum.

We have had bad news, my hv was out today and noticed that the creases in his legs are assymmetrical and he might have hip dysplasia. Am devastated, have a doc app at 5 30 to get the ball rolling, my head is spinning.

Gillyx

Il be back later, to do my epic how I hated motherhood in the beginning post, but if I had a pound for every time people told me it would get better I'd be a rich woman, and every time I heard that I wanted to just punch people in the face and scream I don't care about weeks time I care about now.

But (and I hate myself for saying this) but eventually things become easier, you dont realise right away but eventually things just don't get you down as much and you get into a routine that suits you.

Do what you have to do to cope, and don't get into the rut of not going to the bathroom or not eating. No matter what you need to eat and pee, so put baby in a safe place, shove some bread in the toaster and go to the bathroom. It won't harm them to be left even if they do cry for 2 minutes.

Having said that I would recommend a sling or carrier, was a godsend for me in the early days as he'd settle so much easier during the day so I could eat etc

Bangton

Girls I could not be more grateful for your input. I've struggled to post for the last few days but have been reading on my phone and really you have made me feel so much better and 'normal':D I actually think since he was born I have had moments of hating motherhood which makes me feel so guilty!

I am glad to say though I suddenly got up on Monday and everything seemed so much better (I know it's only 3 days!). I'm getting to understand baby's cries and coping better with the night feeds too.

We think baby did have tummy ache and bad wind last week and that's why he wasn't sleeping and was sucking on his bottle constantly for comfort. We've introduced infacol now, along with some good winding and I have him sat upright between my legs after feeds so he isn't bunged straight back down with wind and we changed to faster teats on the suggestion of one of the replies on here (thankyou!!!!).

Today I wouldn't be without him and I'm not saying the love wasn't instant but for a few days post hospital I just wanted someone to show me the ropes and tell me what his cries meant. On the whole though I have a good baby but boy does his every move have to be scrutinised and I hate that I am like that. He had a green poo yesterday so now I am on poo watch texting my sister who had him for an hour yesterday to see what colour his poo was when she changed him!

Hopefully as the days roll by I'll be even better but I can genuinely say I feel so much better and I'm actually happy although another meltdown will follow at some point I am sure of it!

The only thing I have a problem with now is when to shower, eat, go to toilet and clean up (although I can't do that due to c section properly!!)

Nessie - big hugs to you. Thank fully I have had a supportive OH who was thrown massively in the deep end when I was so poorly post birth. While in hospital he stayed over a lot and did most of the night feeds and walking around comforting baby (as I was bedridden)..he's also covered a lot at home whilst I've recovered. I know you were in hospital a while as I remember reading it. Did he not have to help out then thus understanding how hard it can be?

I think it's easy for him to say your not managing your time well but he gets to go to work and have normality - your the one working out how to adapt in this whole new situation. So many times people told me to nap when baby naps. I find that hard - I have bills to pay, midwives coming, health visitors coming, at the very least I've had to keep kitchen clean as it's where baby's milk is prepared so some cleaning does have to be done regardless of what anyone says!

So yeah I've tried getting my head down while baby naps but then a midwife will rock up or someone will knock at the door! Or I'Ll need to unload dishwasher and sterilise my bottles which takes up maybe 20 minutes of my 2hr sleep window so I feel too wired as I feel the sleep time slipping away!

So yeah tell him to b0llocks off! Or he could always switch for a day and see if he naps when baby naps!!!

Actually that's reminded me. Baby is currently sleeping in our room as recommended and OH is still off work until Monday (extended time due to my illness). So at moment baby crying and grunting in the night is fine as he doesn't have to get up but when he goes to work I don't know how to manage things as his sleep will be interrupted several times a night by baby! He hasn't mentioned it but I want him to be able to go to work as well rested as possible as work's bl00dy awful when your knackered! What do you all do in regards to that?

Thanks again girls - you so cheered me up!

*Nutella*

Bangton wrote: »

Baby is currently sleeping in our room as recommended and OH is still off work until Monday (extended time due to my illness). So at moment baby crying and grunting in the night is fine as he doesn't have to get up but when he goes to work I don't know how to manage things as his sleep will be interrupted several times a night by baby! He hasn't mentioned it but I want him to be able to go to work as well rested as possible as work's bl00dy awful when your knackered! What do you all do in regards to that?

My OH had a month off work post-birth (two weeks paternity leave plus two weeks annual leave), but when he went back to work he slept in one room and LO and I slept in another. This was the arrangement for five months until LO moved into her own room and OH and I were reunited Probably not for everyone, but it just didn't make sense for both of us to stay with her and for him to be knackered every day at work

So glad you're feeling a bit better about everything

katiechoc_2

mini muffin how did your docs appt go? Is it definitely hip dysplasia? I'm not very familiar with it tbh although have had a quick google. Hope the doc was helpful.

Glad you're feeling a bit more upbeat Bangton

Nutella how is your LO this evening?

G has been his usual mixed self today, went batty because I left the room a couple of times but then mum and I took him to the gardens at Wisley this afternoon and he spent ages running behind bushes then jumping out at us giggling

Cake4brains

Hi cleofish. Congrats on the birth of your LO.

My husband had 4 weeks paternity but it started before I went into hospital and then we stayed in 8 days so he only actually had 2 weeks with us after the birth. He slept in the spare room for 4 months. He works shifts and starts work at 2am every day so needed to get a few hours in before work every night. It worked for us and meant he went to work refreshed, unless I was having a bad night and needed him to help with a baby!

Oscar, we had terribly windy babies for the first 4 or 5 months, they screamed in pain bless them. We cycled their legs every night before bed and also laid them on their belly facing away from us over a cushion on our knees and rubbed and patted the bottom of their backs. Seemed to help

Well ladies, I've had a heck of a fortnight. The car broke down on the way to holiday so we had to come home and cancel the holiday (as you all know), the car was unfixable so we're looking round for a replacement and then last week I got a knock on the door to the binman telling me our garage was on fire :mad:. The fire crew managed to put it out eventually but lots was damaged & we've had the insurance company out twice this week to assess the damage etc. Then this morning I got a phone call to say there was a cancellation and if I want I can have my gall bladder out tomorrow :eek:

So its all happening! I had my pre-op this afternoon and have to go into hospital at 12.30 tomorrow for the op late afternoon. My hubbys off work til 2am Saturday morning so he will have the girls and Granny will be having them Friday night.

The only problem is they have told me I cant lift the girls for a couple week :cool: How the heck can I get by without lifting them? I can help them climb up and downstairs but they cant climb in and out of their cots themselves! Apparently, if I do too much it can cause a hernia. Which Granny has after her gall bladder op and now she needs a 2nd op to sort that out

Minimuffin, hope all went ok at the docs x

*Nutella*

katiechoc wrote: »

Nutella how is your LO this evening?

G has been his usual mixed self today, went batty because I left the room a couple of times but then mum and I took him to the gardens at Wisley this afternoon and he spent ages running behind bushes then jumping out at us giggling

Glad he enjoyed the gardens - here's hoping he's worn out and sleeps well for you!

My LO seemed fine this evening, thanks for asking No screaming at bedtime, and not a peep since, so fingers crossed! She's bound to end up in my bed at some point during the night, and I'm just going to let her until OH comes back and/or she's less clingy - if she needs the cuddles and reassurance, then I'm not going to deny her that - but I can live with that. Let's see what tomorrow brings

sunshine_1988

Hey guys

Wow cake, that is a hectic few months. Best of luck for the op, sounds like your family will all pull together and help you get by, just think you dont want to have to go through it again so try and abide by the rules

Nutella, I feel your pain about tantrums!! Going through the exact same ourselves. Hope you have had a better day today.

Glad to see the new mummies are feeling better, its amazing what hearing other peoples stories can do.

Will read back now so am up to date x x