MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Cake4brains

Mrs A, wouldn't have a clue about that one. My marriage is hanging on by my fingernails! In an ideal world though, either soft play or a small animal park every now and again would be nice like sparkles said. And a date night now and then if you can get a babysitter?

Mrshaworth2b

Sorry to hear that cake. We've made a plan to make more effort with each other so hoping that works. Just wondered whether we were the only ones struggling now and was hoping to eat a success story lol!

You may wonder why I'm posting at this time! For some reason lo decided to have a wake up! Not just a dummy request, a full wake up! I'm so tired my eyes are stingy!

Hope your lo's have all slept soundly!

lazywife

Ah yes MrsH getting "couple time" . We're a bit out of sorts in that department at the mo too, any spare time when we'd normally have a cuddle on the sofa even, we're wanting to be with T. I'm sure it gets easier when he's in his own room , surely?
How about a couple of days in the Lake District. I know weather won't be glamourous.... But whenever is it in the lakes? There'll be a family friendly b&b, do the boat trip on Windermere (or ullswater)? If thAt's too close to home, how about Llandudno? There's the cable cars up Great Orm?

Great news on tongue tie getting sorted Oscar.
Cake, birthday planning for the twins must be exciting, and a bargain too. Home bargains is fab, I always look there for stuff.
Sorry not been too chatty recently, and although read back, can't remember who said what!
Hope if you're having a sneaky check in your hols are going well Nutella and the flight was bearable.
SIL & BIL came over for wkend with our neice. Had a really nice time, with fab weather and lots of food as used it as an excuse to eat out lots! Great for T to get a bit if family time, although I suspect he'll be a bit more needy today as won't stand for just being plonked on the floor while I pootle about and get things done, oh well more excuses to not clean and just have cuddles!
Have a great day all.x

Lola888

My MIL took LO last night as I'm in work (started at 7am!! ) and DH has early morning business appointments so we'd have had to drop her off stupidly earlier or let MIL have her overnight. It feels so weird being about to bang around the house without the fear of waking her.

Anyway we try to do a date night at least once a month where someone babysits LO and we catch a film at the cinema or go for a meal. We're stuck in a rut where LO goes to bed at 7.30pm we veg on the sofas, DH on one and me on the other. He's usually on his iPad and I'm on the laptop with the TV on.

If we are both off on weekends we try and do a nice outing, even if it's just to the park with LO. We take her out to the local soft play and even mundane things like going supermarket shopping we try and do it together so it might not be alone time, but it's family time.

Something else we like doing is all sitting in bed together, when LO wakes up we bring her into our bed. She never wakes up before 8am- sorry if this makes some of you jealous- luck of the draw !! We then sit in bed for 15-20 mins before we go down for milk and breakfast where we mess around and maybe read a book, but usually ends up in a tickling session

I know some people when they have kids they suddenly start leading separate lives whilst living under the same roof, but this is just IME

Gillyx

Delain, thank you for thinking of me, how lovely. I'm all good, just been manic here with my OH being away, he came back late Friday night but it's been such a busy weekend. With Argos doing 1/3 off and ELC having 20% off we bought a couple of things for Xmas and Birthday. He also met Iggle Piggle, I think it was the most thrilling moment of his life

R.e relationships, I think it is just tough tbh, and I'd say I know more of people struggling than not sadly, but it's how you work through it as a couple. With my OH's new job he's out of the house Mon-Fri for over 12.5 hours a day. I'm at home with LO all of that time, and I am finding it more difficult the older he gets as the tantrums are getting bolder and he gets bored v quickly, so more often than not he ends up wound up, and I'm stressed with all the screaming. In that time I have breakfast, lunch and dinner to prepare for us both and dinner for myself, LO, OH and my Dad, I have to keep on top of the washing, ironing, cleaning, with food times in here, the floor needs mopped every day :eek: it is a struggle to get it all done with a monster running around all day, and I think when my OH comes home, it's all about what he's done and how tired he is, but I'm not expected to be tired, despite being up at the same time as him. When he gets in at 7, he can get his dinner and relax whereas I'm still running around like a headless chicken until gone 9 or 10, and that is usually the main source of all our arguments.

Also when he does come in, he's shattered and I'm shattered, so I don't want couple time, especially not when I've had a 24lb toddler hanging off my hip all day long, I want alone time, no one talking to me, no one touching me, just time ON MY OWN. Difference is, I'm quite happy with that atm, I don't feel we need to work on things, I accept this is how things are for the forseeable future

fluffnutter

Sparkles87 wrote: »

That's not on! NHS guidelines say that the GP HAS to refer you and it has to be all done and dusted in 18 weeks. I'd get back to your doctor!

I think it's 18 weeks to see a consultant. The resulting treatment might take much longer.

Mrshaworth2b

I love how honest this thread is, it makes me feel better to know that this is normal for such a big thing happening!

Thank you ladies

minimuffin12

Mrsh, im glad you asked that as its something that has happened to us to. I accept that things change once you have little person to look after but goodness me we havent bickered this much before! Hubby told me yday that he feels like he is walking on eggshells around me, which made me paranoid that im kicking off at him too much. Certainly didnt realise I was doing that! Having a baby is def one of the biggest tests and changes to your relationship, I think we will have to have a plan to make more time for each other. Im quite worried how ill cope with housework etc when I go back to work.

Lola888

Gilly big hugs, we're lucky that DH works from home so he can do loads of odd jobs during the day. Even if its just putting a wash on or hanging it out. He does the dishes and is a bit of a clean freak so often gets the vacuum out. Plus with my work I do 5 days on, 5 days off doing 10 hr shifts so I get a full 5 days off to get things straight.

Before our LO DH did have a job where he was doing 6 days a week 13 hr days Mon- Fri and Sat was 9-5, with travelling almost 14 hrs and that really rocked our relationship as he basically got up, went to work, came home, ate and went to bed! The thing was he earnt so much money that it was a sacrifice we initially agreed with, but it just wasn't worth it in the end.

My friend struggles, her DH is a consultant and he works 5 days 13 hrs so he barely sees their LO during the week, but they make the most of their weekends which is all family time.

It would be fab if we could all win the lottery!!

Gillyx

I'm not sad or anything, I just realise this is the way it is atm, it won't always be like this and I need to concentrate on that My OH is doing all of this for us, so in the future we'l have a better life, but it's making me realise that I probably wouldn't be able to go back to work, certainly not full time, as I think I'd just be even more stressed, as I'd have less time to get stuff done, now I know other people do manage to work full time and do it all but I'm just not one of those people, I feel my sanity is worth more than that!

Even if we won the lottery I think my OH would still go to his work, he loves it :eek: