MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Sammie_03

Bamama wrote: »

Dizzi. I wrote a rather large reply which seems to have disappeared. I'm sorry if the wording offended you. It relates more to the situations I'm being posed with and should not have leaked out like that. If I wanted the break/sleep or I had to for some reason then I would. I'm being requested to despite my objections. I feel as though I'm being forced to just for the sake of it. It rather upsets me that EVERYONE seems to think I need a break, as if I'm not coping.

I'm having a down day so sorry for any offence.

Sorry you are having a down day. It's hard being a mummy at times especially when you feel like everyone is going on at you about things. I had the same problem with my mil when I had our first. She wanted to take him out places/have him overnight etc and couldn't understand why I wouldn't allow it. Just remember you are the mummy and don't let anyone put any pressure on you to do things you don't feel comfortable with. X

Bamama

Thanks Sammie. I am trying to cope. Just one of those days.

janninew

Hi Ladies,

I can really understand the reluctance to leave your baby, especially for that first time. I've never had a night away from Poppy since she came home, I still can't imagine her being away from me for the whole night. We've had a few bad nights with teeth and I'm knackered at work and I know my Mum would take her for the night and she would be absolutely fine, but after having to leave her at the hospital every night for 13 weeks after she was born I really appreciate how special it is to have her at home in her cot next to me. I'm sure her being so ill and having such a long hospital stay has affected my inability to leave her, but I'm not worrying about it. I worried so much about leaving her with my Mum during the day when I started back at work, but it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined it to be. I love my job, I have great friends to chat to, yet I only work part time and term time so still have plenty of time with Poppy, so the best of both worlds for me.

xx

Sammie_03

dizziblonde wrote: »

I'm much LESS likely to leave them with other people (and please don't use phrases such as "palm them off" like someone did on here - it's actually really offensive to describe it as such) now there's two of them... I know I can cope relatively OK (apart from teething hell - these first two just will not flipping cut despite her having bumps the size of a mountain range on her gum now) with the pair of them, I know hubby can cope acceptably with them (we still have differences of opinion about how does things compared to me) - but I know that two at once would be pretty hard going for people who don't know them as well as we do. My mum's fine looking after Erin - she doesn't do things 100% as I do - but I don't think you can ever expect that when someone's giving up time freely to help, so I'd possibly trust her to do it if anyone - but she's not a newborn person (same as me) so I don't think she'd WANT to look after the duo for extended periods yet anyway.

Haven't really had much choice but to leave Erin on occasion anyway - from her being in NICU a floor away from me and me being kicked off the unit at regular intervals to "get some rest" (ie go away and get out from under our feet), to being in and out of hospital prior to and after Robyn came - I've HAD to leave her in the care of other relatives on occasion... my mum and my younger brother (who is fantastic with her - just diabolical on the putting little girls' outfits together front)... so please don't describe it as "palming her off" onto others.

We've also had a couple of awful nights with teeth (talking waking screaming inconsolably at hourly intervals awful) - on those occasions - rather than waking two babies up, one of us has taken Robyn to sleep in the moses basket downstairs, while the other's had Erin... again - not "palming off".

It's getting rather bashy and judgemental on here lately.

I don't think Banama meant it the way you have taken it, I certainly didn't take offence to it. You are right though this thread has become judgemental and I don't think comments like that help.

delain

Well... To be honest sometimes I just need to get out of the house, so I might make a late evening supermarket trip for a little bit of time alone. And OH very kindly gets up and does breakfast at weekends so I get a bit of a lie in (and these days 7.30 is a lie in!!)

I wouldn't say I 'palm them off' either and do think that was an unwise phrase to use on here... We are all different, and have made different choices and commitments and that did come off as judgemental on mums who may need that help for whatever reason (pnd, returning to work, actually NEEDING that extra sleep) and it certainly doesn't mean we love our babies any less or are in any way less capable parents. I'll stop moaning now because I do realise it was accidental and not intended to offend!

School run done... Washing mountain to go!

Still... There's new Ben and holly on so I'm going to have that on whilst I do it :j :j

We are off to the library after school today, so that should be fun. Hopefully it won't be raining.

My baby is a fearless climber she has just climbed on to the sofa and over the side of it into her buggy and is giggling and waving to me... I don't know where she thinks we're going!

Edit: ex mil could be very very pushy on the when am I babysitting front (and the iffy advice front... Like massively overdressing the baby then turning the heating up!) so I do know exactly how stifling that can be, especially when the baby is tiny and you just wish the relatives in question would just move to outer mongolia!

janninew

I have noticed a different atmosphere on here recently, but I must admit I don't take offence to anything that is written, its only the internet and I have many other things to worry about in real life! We are all going to have very different opinions and as long as things aren't personally directed at others I think members should be able to discuss whatever they like. Just my two pence worth!

Bamama

I understand that there is a need to leave our babies sometimes. I am current being asked to do so for the sake of it... this is what I don't like.

Mrshaworth2b

What's everyone having for dinner today? (let's change the subject)

I haven't been eating properly since I had lo (only 4 weeks) I guess that's what happens when youve got a newborn! I'm under my ore pregnancy weight, which sounds good but my belly is jubbly from the emptiness. Oh and I seem to have aquired a line, you know like you see on pregnant bellies? Well i didn't have it pregnant but I now have a brown line! Gr!

Anyway I think I'll prob just have some cheese on toast. If I manage to put lo down, anyone had problems with a clingy baby? Hell sleep on me and then as soon as I put him in his basket he stretches and rubs his face and wakes himself up? Then cries till I cuddle him again? My come uppance for saying I wanted to be needed lol!

Banama I hope your feeling happier soon

dizziblonde

Postman's just destroyed Robyn's birth certificate ramming it through the post box on its way back from child benefits. Had issues for a while with him jamming things in that won't fit properly - so this morning he jams a small packet through, and the certificate after - everything's got totally mangled, the packaging on the packet is shredded and the birth certificate looks like it's been fished out of the office waste basket it's that screwed up.

Great day.

I think I ought to leave the thread since that's the second time the same person's laid into something I said (after the crap over the mother demanding her daughter had babies before she got all shrivelled up and infertile) - I stand by what I said about the palming it off comment being rude and hurtful to those who DO leave their children with relatives on occasion - but yet again, apparently those people aren't allowed to HAVE feelings or point out something's hurtful.

Seems to be that it's two or three people allowed to have opinions (sorry but vaccinegate springs to mind here) and everyone else gets shouted down if they don't fall into line or is expected to sit by calmly and just take it - sorry but I don't take kindly to being told I palm my kids off onto people, and I had to basically sit and take being told I can't possibly have bonded with my children because motherhood's all about the boobs. This thread's gone to competitive mummy martyrdom crap of late and I notice a lot of people have disappeared - I wonder why.

Bamama

Dewi still won't let me put him down during naps. I can sometimes move him across on his feeding pillow. At 4 weeks he went in the Mei Tai for me to eat. He'd sleep really well.

I've got some new potatoes to fry off but don't know what to have with them.