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All too much

saffronflowers
Posts: 859 Forumite
Dont really know where to start, my life has gone really peared shaped. Last night my husband was arrested for domestic violence, he did not touch me, but he did trash parts of the house and all of the phones. It is really daft but he has trashed my mobile, daftest thing it is the only new shiny thing I have had in ages. Yes it is only a phone but it was mine.
All the time I budget, think of ways of making just a bit more money to throw at his credit card, the hours I have spent on the bailiffs and finally when I have them banged to rights he does not give a damn. He also does not realise how scary it is taking on the bailiffs.
I hate doing everything on my own, to be honest I dont actually know why I am posting or what I want to say.
All the time I budget, think of ways of making just a bit more money to throw at his credit card, the hours I have spent on the bailiffs and finally when I have them banged to rights he does not give a damn. He also does not realise how scary it is taking on the bailiffs.
I hate doing everything on my own, to be honest I dont actually know why I am posting or what I want to say.
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hi hun, you are posting because you need to talk to someone, and you know that people are here ready to listen.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this, it must be absolutely crap (wanted to type in stronger words but they would end up being !!!!! all the time!).
You really do have to ask yourself, I suppose, what it is that you ARE getting from this relationship and whether it is worth continuing with it.
I am not entirely up to date with your financial situation - are all the debts his and you are just paying them all?
You will get through this, you are stronger than all of this xSuccessful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
Hypno,
You always say such good things-I'm !!!!!! at this but Saffron, suffice to say, I am sending you virtual hugs and support.
BunnyEmpty pockets never held anyone back, only empty heads and empty hearts can do that -Peale0 -
Hey, I'm really with you saffronflowers. Sorry I don't know what to say but I'm sure there'll be other members to offer help. I'm thinking of you as I know that it's not easy. Is there anyone you can turn to / spend the day with perhaps?Don't judge a man until you have walked his life.0
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I dont want to be strong anymore - it is his credit card, but I consider it our debt. I am the one that does the budget, checks the accounts etc etc. So far I have managed to reclaim his band charges, mine were only £90!!! am reclaiming them though! Reclaiming his Additions charges etc etc and taking the bailiff to court for fraud.
No one can answer this but I just dont know what to do and I am so bitterly disappointed for my girls, he did nothing and would do nothing towards them, and they care for him, but one of the reason I phoned the police is cos no woman should be bullied and controled, sorry I am rambling. I dont even have a phone to phone anyone!!!!
SFx0 -
Hi
It sounds as if things are quite rough for you at the moment and as said previously it sounds as if you just need someone to talk to.
Maybe it would help to call the samaritans 08457 90 90 90 or try their website (https://www.samaritans.org) there are lots of different ways to contact them even email
I hope things get better for youWeekly Spend Challenge: £0/£30
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how come he smashed up everything. You were right to call the police.
What is the situation now is he at home ?:beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
This Ive come to know...
So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:0 -
Feel free to tell me that it is none of my business, but if you are being controlled and bullied and you don't want to be strong anymore, what is keeping you in the relationship?
Maybe this is the last straw for you and you need to get out (or tell him to) to give yourself and the children the space that you need and deserve.
Of course, I don't know any more than I have read this morning, so I could be out of order in suggesting this, so I hope I haven't offended anyone xSuccessful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
I did not know they had even arrested him, I was in the garden and the police asked if I wanted to press charges, he was in the sitting room and then I saw him go out side with them, a friend phoned my daughters mobile to ask if I was OK cos a neighbour had seen him handcuffed going to the car. He smashed all the phones as I was on the phone to the police. I have an aswer machine message but none of the phones work and dont have batteries I think he took them.
What gets me is he phoned his Mum to tell her I was trying to get him arrested. Dont know where he is, he has taken my car key, I cant lock my back door or shut it as he has kicked it in and I dont have a front door key.
I dont know what emotion to deal with, anger sadnes no idea
SFx0 -
Morning saffron. So sorry to hear about last night. It sounds like he needs to stand on his own two feet. And take some of the !!!!!! you have been getting. While you are doing everything for him he wont know what its like to face the baliff etc. Tell him he has to deal with them himself. He wont be such a big man then. He should not be taking it out on you when you are doing all you can to sort things out. It might do him good being arrested. Only you know hun where you want to go and what to do now after this. Remember you are bigger and better than this. We can all offer advice but none of know what it feels like to you. But what we can all do is be here for you. And even if you do not know what to say we will just be here to listen to anything. Just keep posting and big hugs. xxxxxxxxxxxxxNight Owl Member No 1 :rotfl: :rotfl:
Night owl member of the threesome. Rules are for fools to follow and wise men to be guided by
No Man is worth your tears,
And the one who is wont make you cry !!!!!0 -
Thank you for letting me ramble - and for all your comments. I dont have any family, my ex husband destroyed my realtionship with my mother. The girls are fine, they are worried about their relationship with his parents as they get on really well with them.
Dont know what to do if he turns up, how to deal with it, I dont want the relationship to end. I do love him not that excuses his behaviour, arghhhh my head is all over theplace0
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