Buffy takes babysteps.

Buffythedebtslayer

So food today,

1 slice of toast

2 slices of toast and scrambled eggs

dinner oven chips and more bread.


Obviously need to eat some kind of fruit. may have a berocca for today tho.


Did my 50 squats and walked the dogs to the meadowland and back.

Today has not been good. I have felt genuine pain and loss hence going to bed, however I wouldn't have managed without my friends. I must focus on the idea that I was actually genuinely happy and if I was happy once I can be happy again.

This week's dates have been a distraction and nothing more. Talking of which the man was also a (utterly lovely) distraction from real life both at home and at work.

Now I need to be distracted for my feelings so there is plenty to do.

first dinner
xxx

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy

Hope tonight finds you well. Who finished it anyway - him or you? If it's any encouragement - Mr SA started out as a revenge date after splitting up with fianc! of 2 years - thought it would make him jealous - it did and do you know what - I found I no longer cared!


Hugs xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Still not eating massive amounts.

I am sure it will come back in time. everything takes !!!!ing time.

I was looking at houses. I will need about 30,000 to buy here.

Hmmm. We will come back to that!

I have started, thanks to my fb friends a Squat challenge! and as from tomorrow I will walk the dogs each day - they do get walked but an extra walk would do them good and I want to spend more time with them.

Tomorrow I am going to

1. paint the other set of shelves
2. rearrange my bedroom.
3. put up the new rabbit hutch.

just must keep moving. doing and distracting until I feel better.

xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Sorry SA I didn't see your post yesterday, although to be honest I felt so terrible I don't remember much. I think I was very very tired, lots of work last week plus no sleep or real dinner. The most I ate was a cheeseburger and apple pie on the way home from date (the best bit of the evening!). I can't believe you post on my diary SA thank you so much xx

Well I have done my week of wallowing and feeling dreadful. I shopped last night, bought some jewellery and some semi precious stones to help with meditation and praying. I completely appreciate that some people reading this will begin to back away slowly but in my experience having a focus/ some thing to help your energy is very good and helpful.

And so begins the putting myself back together after the horrible shock of last weekend.

Things I have done so far

1. hidden him on the dating website we are both on, so I cannot torture myself.
2. taken said dating website off my favourites so I can't click on it on whim.
3. thrown away the shells I collected from a weekend with him.

Baby steps are here again ladies!! (And any gentleman - tho honestly I doubt any men read here and they certainly won't after the semi precious stones comment!!)


I have a list of 14 things to do. Catch you all later.

Distraction is the order of the day.

xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Feel so bad. I have no idea why this is so extreme! It is actually driving me crazy. I am getting so mad with myself.

I want to scream.

Obviously I can't so I will continue with the house work. It is huge amount to do.

Must keep moving. MUST.

taxi73

aww Buffy my heart breaks for you and don't know what to say/do to help you...so will send you some hugs instead xxxx

beanielou

Keep plodding dearest Buffy xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Have made the decision to rehome the guinea pigs. I feel horrible about it but know that is much better for them to have a chance of happiness in a new home then stuck here with me often ignored (always fed and watered) due to work or going out. I don't really have the space for them in terms of time or actually face plus with the dogs it is difficult to exercise them.

I have been thinking about this for a while and so lucky to have a very good friend who understands.

I feel so sick. about everything.

I think perhaps it may be time to go back to the doctors.

xx

Pooky

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I feel so sick. about everything.

I think perhaps it may be time to go back to the doctors.

xx

Making a decision about the guinea pigs must have been hard but it's a brave choice and one that will benefit you and them.

Coming to the realisation that you need to go back to the doctors is even braver (believe me I'm a shove my head in the sand it might all go away, type so know how hard that decision is). Having seen how some counselling and anti-d's have given me back my husband, I'd urge anyone to give it a go.

I'm in complete awe at how much you manage to cram into your week, work, pets, friends, dates, home.....but I do wonder if you maybe need a day/evening/set time that is just for you. No pets, no family, no dates, no work....just you allowing yourself time to sit, guilt free and do what you want to do. I allow myself half an hour a day for craft. During that time I don't answer the phone, I don't play with the cats, I tend to completely ignore DH (obviously if he has a fall I'll pick him up....I'm not that cruel ) but it's my "recharge" time. As soon as the time is up I can then go back to complete panic mode about DDs exams/Uni/boyfriends/attitudes, the dinner, the kittens, the house, DH, my parents, money, the universe and the fact that my hair needs a cut.

So get yourself an appointment and get yourself off to the GP for a chat. (or I shall send you a 15 year old with attitude)

Mara_uk7

Hello from a long time lurker, Well what Hell you have been thru this past wee while !
If you believe in meditation & prayer, You will also believe in Karma. Everything in this world happens for a reason, And your ex could not have been your long time soulmate. Falling in love is so lovely and we've all done it, and had our hearts broken too.

You will get over him, and will, in the future be able to think of him without the sad feelings.

You are (reading between the lines here ) a lovely caring person, compassionate & kind. The right man will be out there for you, so (as my owld granny used to say) "howld yer horses and he will come along"

Sad that you have had to rehome your pets, Sometimes responsibilities get to be too much for us tho, and hopefully you will be able to visit them for the cuddling

Good Luck for the future and remember that for every action there is a reaction, and your reaction is unexpected weight loss xx