Buffy takes babysteps.

gothrockchic1

Hi Buffy, I just spotted your diary, where have I been? Admittedly I havent read it all start to finish.

The first thing I want to say is well done on the debt busting you are doing brilliantly. :j

As for depression I have suffered with it on and off and had a bad bout recently. I read recently that Omega 3 is great for lifting your mood and you can get depressed when you are missing your B vitamins. St Johns Wort is great for it but not if your on the pill

Baby steps are all that you can take. Working towards a big goal but taking baby steps towards it is quite important once you stop you start sink again.

I hope this helps, I am subscribed tho

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy

Hope you and the piggies and co are all ok today. I agree with you pets are lovely but very expensive and time consuming! But worth every penny and every bit of effort! What would we do without them!

taxi73

Wol says it all x

Buffythedebtslayer

The man and I have broken up.

The reasons.........well.........I don't know. I just know I was happy and now I am not.

I feel crushed and lost and ripped apart. I was just letting myself think he was a good man, I finally loved a good man.

8 months to the day almost. Not long I suppose. but oh God it hurts so much. SO MUCH.

It is funny how quickly you go to the I want to die place - I don't actually want to die! but that was my first port of call. !!!! I can't do this again, what can I do instead? Only lasted about 5 minutes but was surprised.

On the plus side my weekends are free to write my dissertation. Great so back to that I want to die place- kidding!

really I am.

Am so stunned and then I am not. I knew he liked me. I knew it was hard - family kids houses. I suppose some people are going to fight and don't appreciate happiness - we had that.

I am totally crushed. I know the clich!s.....I know all of that. People go through worse, Hell I have been through worse!!

but nothing will help for a while I suspect. Just have to feel the feelings.


night all

For my man, I love you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLfWPLLn-QI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFffHBDJNVk

Sun_Addict

Oh Buffy I'm so sorry to hear your news, sounds like things were just too complicated to work out but oh what a shame.:(

You never know though if you and he are meant to be then you'll get back together.

I've been heartbroken myself a few times in the past and have been there and done that with the songs things. Even put a request on the radio once on one of those "lost love" slots - so embarrassed about it now - what on earth was I thinking of Still I was young and very foolish at the time! Just hope no one remembers it. I found getting drunk and hitting the town with my mates usually sorted it out. (Plus flirting with every man I came across!)

Everyone knows the heartache will get better with time but for the moment the pain feels so bad you just can't imagine the day. I really hope that day comes soon for you.

Big hugs

Buffythedebtslayer

You are so kind to write that with all that you are going through Sun addict, so kind. thank you. You really shouldn't have. thank you xxxxxxx


Mum has gone out with the dogs. So I am sitting here sobbing. It is pathetic but honestly it was so easy with him so much fun and I know I was really happy. And it has gone.

I just want the feeling in my chest to go away. I want to scream the pain away if that makes any sense. I think it is all such a shock.

I am going to do some de -cluttering. can't look at a screen - I expect him to pop up. Can't watch tv cos my mind wanders.

God, I don't know why this has happened. But I love him. So please if he loves me - which weirdly I think he does, please send him back to me. please.

Cos I cannot believe this is right.

Oh God what do I sound like!

going to take my puffy eyes and be ruthless with paperwork.

xxxx

christopher_robin

Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to hear your news.

You are always there for everyone else on MSE when times are tough so I hope you will take some comfort knowing that we are 'here' for you too.

I hope you and your man may be able to work it out in the future

Buffythedebtslayer

Instead of going back to bed I pulled everything off a set of shelves and started to paint them.

I will paint the other set next weekend. Things have to change.

distraction interspersed with tears.

xx

beanielou

Such pants news.
Dident see that one coming.
Devestrated for you
xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

I finished the shelves. They look more shabby than shabby chic but it will do.

now to wait for them to dry.

and flirt with some men on a dating website.

I want my man obviously but flirting relieves the horrible pressure.

and Beanie, I am very shocked too.