Buffy takes babysteps.

Buffythedebtslayer

Well my day improved. I liked tuition.

1.[STRIKE] Eat lunch - am hungry! [/STRIKE]

2. change sheets.

3. clean out piggies

4. hoover room.

5. mark a set of assessments.

6.[STRIKE] tutor. [/STRIKE]

7. [STRIKE]Morrison's for a few bits (wine, porridge, fish and chips meal for Mum) [/STRIKE]

8. clean out car. really must.

Tomorrow.

1. go to the bank - close extra accounts.

2. [STRIKE]pay back money to new improved pots. Now I am working on limited income a fresh
approach is needed. [/STRIKE] I think I have done that, my 365 acc is up to date, and I did pay back my VSP.

3. Pack

4.[STRIKE] get petrol [/STRIKE]

5. go to wedding.

6. get drunk.

I didn't get as much done as I wanted. Felt so rough - sore throat and oddly dizzy. So I gave it a rest for a bit. I also spent too much in Morrison's. 36 pounds. I bought a new duvet(17!). not needed. wine. porridge. chocolate eclairs and biscuits not needed. fruit.

Am half watching a programme called Murder Workers (tactless name for some great people) really upsetting.

SO I shall go to bed. relieved that I have been paid.

take care all xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Off to get ready for the wedding I am going to. I miss my boyfriend.

so there.

need to get on tho..............

Take care all xxxx

Sparkles87

Taxi is right Buffy, you're both adults and yet it seems that you end up looking after her as if she was your child. Is she unable to do housework?

Maybe you could look at enlisting some help - perhaps a cleaner temporarily? Okay, it's another cost but split between you and your mum, it wouldn't be that much.

tattycath

(((Hugs))) Buffy. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Maybe you feel rough coz things are getting you down. When people are at a low ebb, their natural defences are down and it makes them more prone to picking up minor ailments. Xx

Buffythedebtslayer

I suppose I don't make it that clear as I don't like thinking about it but Mum has a heart condition that means she should avoid heavy lifting and extended periods of physical stress. she keeps the house clean - hoovers, irons, cleans kitchen - definitely does more that her fair share in that regard. When I talk about stuff needing to be done I am generally talking about moving furniture, going to the tip, cupboard clearing, loft emptying, doing big stuff. all stuff she should certainly not being doing. From her viewpoint as well as mine the house is a state - before we lost my Dad it was NOT like this at all. My room has always been a struggle but never this bad.

I think realistically the house must wait till the summer holidays now, when I will have time. Stop putting pressure on myself to get it done. Especially since the shed isn't coming till July now.

right weddingness. have shoes, dress, handbag, hair straighters. think I am sorted!

take care

xxx

Sparkles87

I wonder could mum get DLA low-rate care then? As she'd have to manage if you weren't at home. That's around £20 a week so plenty to get someone in to help with the big stuff every few months?

taxi73

Thanks for putting us in the picture as it helps me see things clearer.It's nice to see that not everything is down to you and that if it's big stuff you can maybe do one cupboard/space at a time..mine is really bad as DD2 and DH work a lot of hours and I have no energy/motivation and it's so depressing.Short of paying a cleaner a lot of money to do mine top to bottom then I need to come up with a plan...problem is I spend so much time thinking about it that it wears me out..so do empathise with you...I think I need to do a bit at a time even if it's only a drawer or a pile of papers.
Hope you have a lovely weekend at the wedding x

Buffythedebtslayer

The wedding itself was good - lovely girl getting married to a very decent guy.

My experience of the wedding was a bit different. but it is all just evidence for me leaving being the right thing.

so seven weeks. Feel absolutely sick about going back to work.

also feel quite yucky about money. I am ok really just not got as much as I thought!!

am feeling so tired as well. ended up staying up till 2 checking and double checking the banks.

oh dear oh dear promised my friend I would get stuff done today too!

my lists haven't happened - slightly worst for wear upon return from the wedding!

bed I think for a while.....

catch you all later.

xxxxxxx

chevalier

HI Buffy, now will you stop beating yourself up? Your FIRST AND MAIN PRIORITY NOW IS YOU. So you need to get back to basics.

First of all you aren't getting enough sleep. I KNOW that this is bad for me so I am sure it is bad for you too. It may be hard to get into a set sleep pattern but nothing ever seems so bad to me when I do this. And yes I am not currently taking my own advice, but I have the house to myself for the first time this year so am playing hookie from my bed time.:D

A month of regularly getting to bed before 11 WILL improve things. When you are properly rested you can move onto stage two, your diet. If you are tired all the time you eat crap - yep been there too.

And don't stress about the house. If you are rested you will have more energy and that will come together in time.

hugs mate
chev

Buffythedebtslayer

I think all the anxiety about money is displaced anxiety from work. I really do not want to go in tomorrow.

NOT AT ALL.

53 days.

oh had to buy hutch on the plus side it gives me more room I think?

will be all sorted next weekend. Have no other plans.

Just five days to get through first.

xxx