Buffy takes babysteps.

Buffythedebtslayer

Right. Honesty post.

I am feeling anxious and very stressed today. The hole in my middle is back. My holiday is over. I feel guilty and confused about why I haven't tidied up the house or done my work. Not touched my Masters or the tefl course I am supposed to be doing. Also spent money I shouldn't have spent.

I wish I had said more to the doctor.
I wish I had go to in work more and given my day more structure.
I wish I had got on and done the things I had to do.
But I didn't.
I am worried about taking the beta blockers. I don't want to be sleepy at work.


BF is arriving at 11. I am shifting stuff round and have a box to add to the charity pile. It's a big pile.

On the plus side

The present cupboard is full of stuff.
I am giving away lots - a car load.
I cleaned out and tided a huge cupboard
I have covered two chairs
Deep cleaned the bathroom
sorted out the guinea pig cage not perfect but better.
cleared out wardrobe
Re- stored bags so I can get them
Hung up my shoes in an organiser thing

The boxes I have left are straightforward to sort out but I am afraid that when I get back to work it will take over and I will be wrecked.

I really don't know how or even if I should tell the BF about my depression. been seeing him since Nov and feel if I don't tell him now or at least soonish that I will have to actively keep it from him.

Best get on with something. finish moving boxes etc. try and give Mum back the spare room.

Also best get on as the "Heir Hunters" on and it makes me cry.


xxxx

beanielou

xxxx
Enjoy your weekend.

Alchemilla

You have made some brilliant practical steps forward this holiday. WELL DONE!

taxi73

you have done loads over the holidays x

Sun_Addict

Buffy - don't put up with nausea and headaches for too long before getting checked out by doctor - don't mean to scare you but you know why I'm saying this.

I think you've done great with the sorting out considering you're not feeling so good. A facial would be nice - can you get a groupon type deal for this?

GeorgeUK

Hi Buffy. Thought i'd pop in to see what's shaking in here. A full page of posts and no mention of any lists - i'm impressed (I saw something that looked like a list, but it wasn't numbered and that word wasn't used - so it doesn't count).

Was hoping things had improved at your work, but it doesn't look like it. If you're ill, get to the doctors - i'm glad to see taxi and beanie keeping an eye on you. (I popped in to your diary taxi but only read a few pages and didn't leave a message. Glad your treatment is finished and hoping you have a speedy recovery).

Please try to stop worrying about things that you haven't managed to do - your stress levels must be through the roof. I'm going to have a proper read of a few threads tomorrow (much later today) and look for some other old faces. Not that i'm saying you have an old face... I'll stop digging now - just take care of yourself. Sending big hugs your way.

taxi73

Hi George lovely to see you about..missed you xxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Hi Buffy. Thought i'd pop in to see what's shaking in here. A full page of posts and no mention of any lists - i'm impressed (I saw something that looked like a list, but it wasn't numbered and that word wasn't used - so it doesn't count).

Was hoping things had improved at your work, but it doesn't look like it. If you're ill, get to the doctors - i'm glad to see taxi and beanie keeping an eye on you. (I popped in to your diary taxi but only read a few pages and didn't leave a message. Glad your treatment is finished and hoping you have a speedy recovery).

Please try to stop worrying about things that you haven't managed to do - your stress levels must be through the roof. I'm going to have a proper read of a few threads tomorrow (much later today) and look for some other old faces. Not that i'm saying you have an old face... I'll stop digging now - just take care of yourself. Sending big hugs your way.

George! where the !!!! have you been???????????????????

LOVELY to see you!

I had a fab weekend, lots to think about but need a short nap now. CANNOT believe I have !!!!!! work tomorrow
xxx

Snagggles

Move to Edinburgh - schools are off here tomorrow.

I second what others have said. You have done loads and should give yourself a break. There will always be more you could have done, but dwelling on those drains you of the energy you need to actually start doing things, so be kinder to yourself. </bossy>

Buffythedebtslayer

Slept till 6!

been trying to work since then. done some. but as ever not enough! wish I could work in my room but it is still too messy.

I wanted to clear it up, but then the lure of the tv comes by and er.......yeah.

must get back to it.