I can't get the missing little girl in Portugal out of my head

patchwork_cat

I agree 100% leothecat - that poor child. On the news they were saying oh the parents are getting plenty of support and I first thought and what about Maddy. I think that that is why people are slagging off the parents because they are angry that a child has been put in danger and trauma so that they could have an adult meal.

If there were 8 children in the party and 9 adults - where all the other children left alone, too? Why did they not put all the children together and 1 adult stay with the kids taking it in turns. Surely that is the benefit of going away in a group as opposed to as a small family unit?

wendym

patchwork_cat wrote: »

If there were 8 children in the party and 9 adults - where all the other children left alone, too? Why did they not put all the children together and 1 adult stay with the kids taking it in turns. Surely that is the benefit of going away in a group as opposed to as a small family unit?

I guess that these holidays are outside the experience of most of us, as they are so expensive. Their main selling point is allowing adults to 'escape' from their children, and leaving them to be checked on is the norm, although the staff checking system is based on 15 minutes between visits.

My daughter has a friend who holidays only at one of these villages. She leaves her children for the day in creche/activity club according to age, where they eat both lunch and tea, then she collects them to put them to bed, and goes out for the evening leaving staff to check on them.

Of course I'm not suggesting that that is how all families behave, and the McCanns did make a particularly irresponsible/stupid decision.

Their suffering now is unimaginable. And can you imagine making the decision about when/whether to come home?

Vashti

Possibly this little girl even just shy of four was so good and motherly with her little brothers that her parents made the enormous, HUGE mistake of crediting her with more maturity than she had. I hate the way this will sound...but 'clever' people usually love having 'clever' kids. I don't mean she was left babysitting her baby brothers..of course not, but I get the feeling if the parents had left them together like this all week that they somehow trusted Maddie more than they should...if only she could have trusted them so much.

I doubt she will be found now. I hate the fact that she is probably being extremely well cared for by some American couple who can't have kids and have paid a fortune to some underground adoption ring. I can't bear the thought of her little voice asking over and over for her Mummy and Daddy...I just can't stop thinking about it, knowing how distressed my son once got aged five when he turned around in a shop and couldn't see me...I could see him - I was behind him but for a few seconds he panicked.

But in a way if she is with people who care that is better than the alternatives.

It is really the worst living nightmare a parent could ever have. If she isn't found, they will never have another waking moment for the rest of their lives wondering what happened. It could drive you insane, and I am not surprised they are emotionless. I would be in complete and utter shock.

tiff

wendym wrote: »

I guess that these holidays are outside the experience of most of us, as they are so expensive. Their main selling point is allowing adults to 'escape' from their children, and leaving them to be checked on is the norm, although the staff checking system is based on 15 minutes between visits.

My daughter has a friend who holidays only at one of these villages. She leaves her children for the day in creche/activity club according to age, where they eat both lunch and tea, then she collects them to put them to bed, and goes out for the evening leaving staff to check on them.

Of course I'm not suggesting that that is how all families behave, and the McCanns did make a particularly irresponsible/stupid decision.

Their suffering now is unimaginable. And can you imagine making the decision about when/whether to come home?

I am so shocked by that, mainly because I enjoy my holidays with the children. Mine are 9 and 6 now, we started taking them abroad when they were 6 and 3. They LOVE us doing things together and having fun, eating out together, staying up late etc. What a sad life for that whole family, not just the kids.

strephon

I would Just like to say how sad I feel for the two parents and I would never judge them ,they have lost the most precious thing in their life a child.I can only think what they are going through and that even wrecks my head. To think about that scared wee angel is crying out for her mum and daddy It makes me sick to think of anyone touching or harming a child.I am trying not to watch the tv as it upsets me as I have a little girl a year younger and it would kill me to loose her. I pray for Madeleine and hope she gets returned safe and well .

patchwork_cat

I have just had a quick look on the mark warner site and the ocean club doesn't seem to be that expensive - about the price I would expect to pay- perhaps a lot during high season, but at this time of year seems OK.

To be fair I am wondering if the parents were lulled into a false sense of security as the website does seem to talk about a village, but all the same apart from what has happened fire, drowning, fingers in electrical sockets and just plain distress at waking on their own can and will happen even in a 'village'.

Yes I do agree that it is easy if you have a bright capable child to attribute them with maturity beyond their years, however as an adult you do have to remember the actual age of the child. I have to remind myself every so often with my 2 - but suddenly something will happen and you do remember their age.

SeptemberBaby_2

We all have our own opinion but some posters should bear in mind that posters criticising the parents does NOT mean they are not all also hoping for the safe return of Maddie. Of course they are!

I will become a parent later this year and this scenario is my worst nightmare. However, I would NEVER EVER dream of leaving three children under 4 alone for one minute never mind to go for a meal. IMHO, if you think the parents actions in doing so were acceptable then you are seriously deluded.

tiff

Is it usual in these circumstances for the parents to make 4 tv appeals? What has happened in other similar cases?

Curious_George_2

tiff wrote: »

Is it usual in these circumstances for the parents to make 4 tv appeals? What has happened in other similar cases?

what else can they do?
they are in effect as useless and helpless as we all are,

I think SeptemberBaby makes a good point, there are two things that should be taken for granted in threads like this
1 - we ALL want maddy to be found safe, well and returned to her family
2 - we all feel for her parents and would give anything not to be in their position

no matter what other opinions we have about the parents conduct.... i think those 2 things are pretty much a given, anybody who thinks that just because we can clearly see the parents idiocy and have the nerve to point it out that we dont care, well.... i dont even know what to say to you!

wendym wrote:

My daughter has a friend who holidays only at one of these villages. She leaves her children for the day in creche/activity club according to age, where they eat both lunch and tea, then she collects them to put them to bed, and goes out for the evening leaving staff to check on them.

this makes me sad....what is the point of taking the kids at all??

Carmina_Piranha_3

atpug wrote: »

if they really had to leave the kids all alone while they dined, shame they never considered using a portable wireless baby listener.

yes, that might have helped because they have a light display that glows, you'd see that even if you couldn't hear the noises.

perhaps more people will consider using these now, in light of this terrible event - not for dining out, i mean if they are going to be in a different room to the child, or sitting outside etc.

my child has reflux, i always have the listener on because i want to know if he vomits. i'll be taking it away with me.